Chaos Angels

She's just like me

Sofia's POV

I was caught off guard, I couldn't even speak, I was shocked. I looked away from my mother's gaze too scared to make an eye contact. She clutched my arms harder,

"Sofia-Rose answer me what the fuck is this ?" she said outraged by her discovery.

I knew when she called me by my full name it was something very serious and I better not mess with her nerves,

"Cuts.."

I mumbled, still looking away from her line of vision.

"Look at me please,"

she let go my arm and I finally met her gaze, I crossed my arms to hide the things I was ashamed of.

"Why did you do this to yourself ?"

She asked me with a worried look on her face still not understanding the whole situation.

"I was so alone, I felt so useless to be here and I still don't know why ! I didn't even choose to live. It's something you can't understand."

I looked at her straight in her eyes, distress and loneliness written all over my face.

"Sofia-Rose don't tell me I can't understand what you're feeling, I've been through many things and I'm sure I could've helped you if I payed more attention to what you truly wanted. I take medications everyday to deal with my anxiety. Don't call into question your existence because we truly wanted to have you, you don't even imagine how much you're our proudest thing we made in life with your father. It hurts that you ignore how much we love you. Before getting pregnant of you I miscarried a lot, I wasn't able to keep a baby,"

I could see tears formed in her eyes as the emotion overwhelmed her. She took a little time to breathe deeply and calmly, she didn't want to cry in front of me and I felt like shit to make her feel this way. My mom is a warrior she never let anyone sees her weakness, she never cry in front of me. The rare times I see her crying is from happiness or when she's emotional of how fast I'm growing up.

"I had some troubles with my pregnancies but this one was really different, you were supposed to have a twin but the embryo didn't developed. I was devastated by the news. I cried and prayed every night to God to let me at least one child alive. You don't know how much I wished it with all my heart. I couldn't stand to lose not one but two babies at the same time, I didn't want to give up because I've always had hope and faith. You were born preterm and in good health, thanks God we couldn't ask for more."

I felt a lump in my throat, she never told me about it before this moment. I understood why she was brooding over me like a mother hen, her love for me was unconditionally. Emotions fulfilled my entire body, my knees abruptly became weak and I burst into tears as I rushed to her to find confort in her arms.

                Stefani's POV

The situation was more and more alarming as I found my daughter showed symptoms of distress set in the context of a suicidal behavior. It was high time to share with her my weaknesses, everybody has vulnerabilities when it comes to love. She was carefully listening to me, she was a very sensitive girl and I saw she was trying to hide but it was too much for her to handle, she ran towards me and broke into tears in my arms. She was squeezing me hard with her arms all around me, she had her head against my chest and through her sob she managed to say,