this one might be a little long!
[ your POV ]
i sat on the couch of my home i have to myself. i was currently watching OITNB because ill always love this series.
i was suddenly a little startled when a knock came to the door. i was confused as i walked to the door, wondering who in the hell it could possibly be, considering it's 10 at night.
my hands slightly shaking, i opened the door to see the last person i expected to see.
shawn.
my ex boyfriend. yeah, we dated for nearly 7 years. we were 15 when we got together, and now i'm 24 and we're done. the reason we ended was because of his tour. it started getting to the point where he'd be gone months at a time. it was hard for me, but i was willing to make it work. i couldn't go with him because i couldn't get my college courses switched to online. but i was still willing. shawn decided it'd be best if we broke up, he said he wanted me to find someone who'd give me all their love and attention.
at the time, i was more than upset. i was completely heartbroken. but now that it's been about 2 years, i understand why he did it, it was honestly best for the both of us. even though i haven't been seeing anyone, i guess it was best for us.
my eyes widened and my mouth slowly dropped open at the sight of him. we haven't even spoke to each other in the last year and a half.
"shawn? what are you doing here?" i asked, taking a moment to examine his appearance.
same all black apparel, his soft, brown hair styled to perfection, and his beautiful brown eyes that i'd get lost in for what seemed like hours, even if it was only seconds.
"well uh, i'm taking a break from tour.. and i'm back here in pickering, as you can tell. i just, i feel like i owe you an apology. i know it's been well over two years now, you've probably moved on, but i feel like it's the appropriate thing to do." he said with his hands in his pockets as he looked at the ground. something he'd do when he was nervous.
"you don't owe me anything shawn. we're over now, you even said it yourself." i said feeling my emotions slowly start to rise.
"it's not like that's what i wanted, y/n. i felt like i was slowly ruining you, you weren't getting the love and attention you deserved. i couldn't give that to you, my career was taking off all too fast. you deserved someone who could give you everything they possibly could, and i couldn't be that someone. y/n i'm sorry. you know i loved you, and i still do. damnit ill never stop loving you." he said and i looked down, just now realizing somewhere in his little speech he'd grabbed my hands.
i pulled my hands away, wiping a tear off my cheek.
i looked into his eyes, seeing the hurt. he was hurt just as much as i was.
i shook my head softly and looked at the ground, trying to think of what to say.
"i don't know what to say shawn, i didn't think you'd ever come back. but here you are, two years later. i haven't moved on fully, and i don't know if i ever will be able to. i loved you to pieces, and i'm a little ashamed to say i still do." i spoke softly.
"you know you were my whole heart. you know i loved you with everything i had in me. you know it, y/n." he said, his voice slightly cracking as he said my name.
i closed my eyes, trying to fight back more tears.
he walked up closer to me, his right arm snaking around my waist, his left caressing my cheek.
i opened my eyes and looked up at him,
"then remind me shawn."
his eyes went from my eyes, down to my lips.
"our first date. we weren't an official couple yet. i was madly in love with you, it took everything in me to ask you on a date. we went to the nicest restaurant in the town of pickering. i bought you white roses, which were your favorite. after dinner, i drove you home and you gave me a kiss on the cheek. which by the way made me explode on the inside." he said with a small smile, making a faint one grow in my face.
"when i asked you out. it was about 2 weeks after our first date, we'd still been talking and everything, and i was extremely nervous to ask you out. it was kind of awkward when i asked you, because in the middle of me trying to ask you, the schools coolest guy, nick, came up asking for your number. but! you rejected him, and i'm not sure why. when i asked you, your face turned bright red and you couldn't stop smiling. thank god you said yes, i would've been so upset if you hadn't." he said and looked me straight in the eyes.
"our first kiss. i remember it like it just happened. i was helping you with your study guide for math back at my place. you were getting ready to leave and i just kinda went for it. you didn't really hesitate to kiss back, and that made me happy." he smiled.
"do you remember the way we loved each other? does it take any more reminding? do you remember that one special night, when we learned each other's secrets. each and every one of them? that night, when we didn't just sleep?" he asked and pulled me closer, making my breath hitch in the back of my throat.
"the way we stared into each other's eyes as we loved each other, with so much passion. it was nothing but love, y/n."
"when i gave you all of me, and you gave me all of you. ive craved nothing but you for this entire time we've been apart. i cant take it any longer." he whispered, his breath lightly fanning my lips.
i looked away from his eyes, trying not to give in. but i did.
i leaned in slowly, his lips meeting mine. that feeling came back. the feeling of love. whenever we'd kiss, it was like falling in love all over again.
he placed his hands on my waist, deepening the kiss. i wrapped my arms around his neck, not wanting to let go of him any time soon. i wanted it to stay like this till the end of time.
a few seconds later, he pulled back.
"i loved you. and i still do." he whispered
"remind me." i whispered with a small smile.
_____
part 2???
