"THE LOVER"(더 러버)

SECRETS 비밀 P.1

#104: Xiumin's Pov

When I look at you I can only think
'I really love you'. Sometimes you just laugh, cry or get angry and even in that moment I still love you.

Maybe we'll meet again when we are older and our minds less hectic. I'll be there for you and you'll be here for me but right now I am a chaos to your thoughts and you are a poison to my heart.

I never thought I'll be the one saying goodbye.

Ever since our trip I've been avoiding him and he noticed. Every day I'll get late at home and avoid talking to him. I know I can't run away forever.

"Minseok, can we talk?" Jong Dae was sitting on our table.

I just got home from work and he waited for me. I needed to put an end to this.

It was serious since he never calls me by my name unsless it's something important.

"So what do you want to talk about?" I sat infront of him.

"Minseok, every day you arrive late, you won't talk to me. Did I do something wrong? Minseok are you cheating on me? Because right now I don't know what to think" he spoke so fast, he was angry and he looked hurt.

I wanted to say that everything was ok but if don't end this we won't be able to move on

"I'm not cheating on you. I just don't want to see you" It hurts so much to say this.

"If I did something wrong just say it dammit! You know I'm the most understanding person but when you keep things for yourself it's also hard for me" He yelled

I wanted to tell him the truth but then again I didn't say anything.

"You didn't do anything. I just got tired of this, tired of us" I clenched my fits helplessly

"What?" he stuttered

"After all this years I realized that we aren't meant to be together. Our trip open my eyes. We both knew this wouldn't last forever" I smiled bitterly

I was holding my tears back, my heart atched so much.

"Then 10 years for you doesn't mean anything? Are you serious Minseok? After all this years you say something like this?" Jong Dae was about to cry

I wanted to hug him. Tell me him that I was lying but then again I couldn't do it. I didn't want to force him doing something he didn't want.

"Well you were the only one who would fall for someone like me. I admit I did love you but now not anymore" I crossed my arms

He stood up next to me and leaned close to me, I could feel his stares.

"Say it to my face. Tell me you don't love me anymore. Look at my eyes and say it" he started crying.

"I don't love you" I stared at his eyes. My throat hurt as if someone was trying to choke me.

He cried and lock himself in our bedroom.

Now I did it, I finally free ourselves from my selfishness but why can't I stop crying?

A few days after our discussion I started wrapping my stuff. I will move back with my parents.

"So it's like this? We are over just like this?" I heard Jong Dae's voice behind me.

"Don't worry I'll be gone right away" I took some of the boxes outside.