Fabulous Book Reviews

Book Review 2: I Spy

Reviewed by: leila7924

Book by: awesomedescendant

Cover: 5/10
Your cover is okay. It lets the reader know that this is in fact a spy story and it lets the reader know what the main character looks like. It is hard to read your username on the cover so you might want to fix that. If I didn't already know what your username was from your profile, I would not be able to tell by looking at your cover. Also, the font seems childish to me.  Since the cover is the first thing the reader will see, you need to make sure it pulls the reader in and does not detract from the value of the story. Honestly, if the only thing I saw was your cover, I would not bother to read the description or the book. Unfortunately, as much as people say "Don't judge a book by its cover," that is exactly what the majority of people do.

Summary: 9/10
The summary is very good and accurate to the story. The only thing is that maybe you should mention the other mission and not just the high school one. Unless that is not going to be a major plotline in the story, I feel it should be mentioned in the description. Overall the summary is very good and works well to bring in readers.

Grammar: 7/10
The first thing I noticed was that the beginning of the story seems very stilted. "I did this. I did that." It's not very descriptive in her actions. 

Also when Alexis is speaking, her thoughts should not be put in quotes. They should be in italics. I only noticed this in the first chapter really. Throughout the rest of the story, you put her thoughts in italics.

When using an ellipses (...) you should only have 3 periods.

There should not be a space after the first quotation mark. It should be "I have to go." And not " I have to go." And each time a different person talks, it should be in a different paragraph.
Example: "Hello," said Sarah.

"How are you?" said John.

When ending a quote
Good Examples: "Wow!" she said.
"Wow," she said.
She said, "Wow."

Bad Examples: "Wow." She said.
She said, "Wow,"
"Wow." she said.

If it is the end of the sentence it should end in a period, question mark, or exclamation point.

The majority of the time, the story is written in past tense (which is totally fine), but sometimes you switch to present tense. Be sure to choose one and stay consistent.

There are also some of the general typos everyone makes.

Don't put author's notes in the middle of the story. There is one point where Elijah says, "Mr. Wolff (Shaan) will be your butler." Unless Elijah actually said "Shaan" and I'm mistaken, it shouldn't be put in the middle of the dialogue. By reading on, the reader can quickly learn who Elijah is refering to and it is not necessary to clarify like that.

It is not hard to read the story, but there are quite a bit of things that can be done to improve on the flow of the story.

Plot: 9/10
The plot is really good. I feel like there are a lot of directions you can go, especially considering she is assigned two missions currently. Stories where girls fall for bad boys seem to be very popular on wattpad, so you will probably get lots of readers for that.

Characters: 8/10
I'll be honest, Ariana seems too immature to be a secret spy. She acts like a child and I know that's what you were going for because of how Alexis describes her. And it could be that I just haven't seen enough of Ariana to know what she is like while working. Alexis is very well-written and does seem like an individual. Obviously, I'll know more about the characters as the story progresses, but I think the characters are unique and that is important in a story. 

First Paragraph: 8/10
Your first paragragh is pretty good. It does seem a bit stilted when describing Alexis' morning routine. However, it quickly establishes the spy aspect of the story. It makes the reader think about who those men are and why they have shown up. It makes the reader want to continue reading and find out more.

Overall: 7/10
Overall, your story is well-written and has a good plot and unique characters. Though there are some grammar issues that can be fixed, they do not make it impossible to read. Fixing those mistakes would only add to the quality of your story. I would recommend making a new cover, or finding someone to make one for you. Your story has lots of potential and I'm sure you will do it justice. Maybe just read through your chapters before you publish them to spot any mistakes.