i remember finding him the next day by the same convenience store. he had his back against the brick wall. he was waiting for something or someone. i walked over, acting as if i was going to enter the small store. he stopped me like i knew he would.
he sighs, lowering his head causing his bangs to cover his face. i stared at the boy. i heard him mumble a few words but i couldn't put them together. i told him to speak up. he hesitated, but eventually did.
"ahjussi, i'm sorry."
i remember getting angry at the word ahjussi. after a couple of minutes trying to convince him that i wasn't an ahjussi but a hyung, he gave in.
"hyung, here."
he holds out the chapstick that i almost fought him for. he lifted his head a bit, revealing those dreadful eyes of his.
"keep it."
i remembered telling him. but what he said next, was something i would never forget.
"if i keep it, i'll start thinking of you again. then i'll feel sad."
the way his voice sounded saying those words left an indelible impact on me. his voice was so raspy and doleful. i felt the emotions he was feeling as if we became one.
i ended up keeping the chapstick and asking him out for a bite. he refused but i insisted.
we sat down at a booth in a small cafe. the warm atmosphere and the smell of roasted coffee beans filled the tiny cafe up, making everyone feel at home. the sound of laughter and little giggles were music to my ears. the boy who had took the chapstick i wanted but then returned it out of guilt was right in front of me. his skin was finally taking in some color, his eyes was loosening up a little and his lips were not chapped anymore. he seemed to be enjoying the cup of hot chocolate and small blueberry muffins that i had ordered for him.
that became his favorite.
the boy was silent but he listened as i talked nonsense. we ended up staying in the cafe for two hours. he didn't say much during the time, but having him in front of me was enough to satisfy my needs.
"let me walk you home. it gets dangerous at night."
he refused. i pleaded. he refused. i gave up.
before turning his heels, he whispers softy with a small smile carved into his face. "my name is park jimin."
park jimin, the guy who changed my life forever.
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❝ Caught in a lie Take me out of this hell I can't free myself from this pain Save the me who's being punished. ❞
