Somebody That I Used To Know

Chapter 10

Somebody That I Used To Know- Chapter Ten

        Of course she could forgive him. Clara could see it in his eyes that he could feel the pain that she went through. They had always been that way, able to read each other like an open book. Their pages had been torn and pieced back together, but with each other, it was like the pages were never touched at all. Everything was perfect.

       "Always, John." Clara said.

       "But you don't know my secret. You don't know what I've done. Whose lives I've effected because of it. The burden of regret I carry every day because of what I did. Clara, I'm not a good person." He confessed.

       She didn't understand. "No, John. You could never be anything but good. You're not, nor ever will be, a bad man in my eyes, I promise. Please, just tell me what happened."

       Looking out the window, he began his story.

       "It all started after I got to that little cottage in France. I knew that Simeon was coming to kill me, and I didn't want to die. My twin brother, Aaron, was living in southern France at the time, so I called him up, asking for a favor. I had always been there for him, especially when I found out that I had a brother."

       "You didn't know before?" Clara asked.

       "No. I didn't find out until I was 16 that I had a brother. I kept it a secret because not even my parents knew that he was alive. Hold on, let me give you that story first." John said as he sat down across from Clara once again, still avoiding looking at her. "I was born on November 23, 1992 in this hospital along with my brother, Aaron. I was born first, and he, second. There were complications with him though, so they had to take him away. That was the last time my parents ever saw him. Someone had somehow gotten into the hospital and took him for ransom. I found this out later. The hospital made up some cover-up story about how Aaron died before they could help him.

       My parents were devastated. I grew up learning how to become a spy. From toys to prototypes, and finally, the real weapons and technology. I was trained by the best in the world, learning to create fake identities, lie, and perfecting every trick in the book to getting out of a life or death situation alive. All of this while balancing school, and my friendship with you. The reason we moved to Dublin was not because my parents' office was relocated, it was because I was spending too much time with you and not enough time training. My parents didn't want to move because of it, they loved you, but they wanted me to be safe, so, as you know, we moved. It was one of the worst days of my life. They took me out of school and I trained for eight hours each weekday, and twelve hours each on Saturday and Sunday. My life became a living hell. When it was over, I came back, but you know everything that happened after that. Everything except my meeting with Aaron.

       The night I arrived in Dublin the second time, the time I was angry at you, I went to the store to pick a few things up, not expecting to see another version of myself there. It was too much of a resemblance to not be related to this kid. I first saw him in the produce section, picking out some avocados. He turned around and I realized that he...we...had the same face. He saw me too and we kind of just stood there, not moving or anything, just staring at each other. I honestly didn't expect this, but...he ran, like he was afraid of me. I dropped everything chased after him, finally tackling him in the parking lot. I took him back to my apartment and asked him to tell me who his parents were. He told me that he was captured as an infant, but escaped to an orphanage, where he was eventually adopted. I tried to tell him about his real parents and what had happened, but he didn't want to hear it. Over the course of a few hours, I managed to get him to change his mind and listen to what I had to say. He had to get home, or else his parents would worry, but we decided to keep our meeting a secret. We promised to stay in contact and we went our separate ways. I, back in England, and Aaron, staying in Ireland. We exchanged information about everyone and everything. I knew his entire life and he knew mine

       I'll spare you the parts you know. The prom, the fake death, the escape to France. Now, the details you didn't know. You already know that it was my brother, but you don't know how he's involved. During that time between our meeting and then, Aaron had moved to France. He felt like he owed me for what I had done for him, telling him to truth about his life. I told him that he could pose as me when Simeon came, allowing me to set up our escape. In reality, I was setting him up to die. I knew you were coming for me because I knew that you would know that something was wrong, you were always clever like that. Aaron had trusted me, and I betrayed him. I showed him that submarine, telling him about the escape pod 'just in case'. You arrived and the days took their course. We switched places while you were in the kitchen, and I left to 'get the police'. Aaron believed me. I watched from hidden cameras as he fought Simeon, you showed up, and both of you got on the sub, as expected. I'm the one who sent the missiles, knowing that he would save you instead of himself, he was selfless like that. I couldn't have another me running around. He was a liability so I had to get rid of him.

       That was my first murder. Those two years between then and now we're spent...for the most part...at Stanford, but not all of it. The first few months after the accident, I went around the world, vanquishing every threat to you and me."

       "You...killed people?" Clara asked softly. She didn't understand how

John, her John, could do such a thing.

       "Yes, Clara. I did. Without remorse at the time. But that's the reason I became a doctor, so I could help people instead of hurt them. Every day, I feel that guilt and regret of both leaving you and killing those people. Although not innocent, they were still people, and I had no right to kill them. I'm so sorry that I'm not the same man you fell in love with, but I can't change who I am now. I can't even love myself, so I don't expect you to love a monster like me." John finished.

       Clara got up and walked over to him. Staring into those big, sad eyes she said, "I'm not going back on my promise. I said that I could never see you as anything except a good person, and I mean it. You were protecting me with those people. But with your brother, I can't say anything. All I can tell you is that it is not my place to judge. I'm not the one to forgive you. You have to forgive yourself." There was wisdom beyond her years in that tiny form of hers. She stood on tiptoe and placed a kiss on his cheek. They held each other closely, and stayed like that for what seemed like forever.

       Interrupting them, a nurse came rushing into the room, out of breath and saying, "Doctor! Come quickly! It's the McKnight boy."