Mine

Ch. 1

I keep my eyes closed and listen to the sound of the rain pouring on my window. I find the sound very relaxing, and soon I'm asleep again.

I flutter my eyes open and keep them open this time. I look over at my phone, 2:32 am. I sigh and roll over again and try to fall asleep. It doesn't take long for my dreams to engulf me.

~Dream~

"I hate you! I fucking hate you!" I spat at him throwing an empty pop bottle at him.

"Well good cause I hate you too!" I scream back and he knocks over a lamp.

"Go rot in hell." I say through my clenched teeth.

"Why? I will just see you there again." He has his fists tightened up in balls at his sides.

I walk away from him and soon hear heavy foot steps following me.

"Running away won't solve the problem, Alex!" he screams at me again and pulls me on my wrist spinning me so I'm now facing him.

"You know what Harry? Fuck you. Fuck you! I wasn't the one who was flirting with the fucking waitress with you right in front of me!" I scream back at him.

"I fucking hate you, Alex. I wasn't flirting with the fucking waitress!" he gets closer to me and I don't move back.

"For fuck's sake Harry I don't even care anymore I'm sleeping on the couch tonight." I grabbed one of my T-Shirt, shorts and a blanket and went to the couch.

~End Of Dream~

I wake up again and look at the time once more 8:11 am. This is a fine time to wake up.

I think of my dream, that was the first night Harry and I said we hated each other.

That night we had gone out for dinner, and the hole entire time he was checking out and flirting with the waitress. I was so pissed off when we got home, and it broke out into an awful fight, but not our worst one.

That night I had slept on the couch, well 'slept' on the couch. I could barely fall asleep without Harry, and I know he felt the same was that night because when I woke up around 4:00 am that night I went to our room to see how he was doing, even if I had said all those things, they were all out of anger. I didn't mean any of it. He had his body all over the bed and was snuggling with my pillow.

The next day I had woken up to a bunch of roses and a card from Harry telling me to meet him in the back yard. I saw a tear stained faced Harry with more flowers in his hands. Which made me cry and hold him tight as if, if I didn't hold him tight enough I would fall away from him forever.

He had said sorry and that he didn't mean a single word he said. I apologized too.

I've been having lots of dreams like this for the bast 2 months, dreams that are more like flashbacks of Harry and I, best and worst moments and memories.

They started the day I had ended things with him. Harry and I had been together for a year and a half. Lots of things have happened in that year and a half. Lot of screaming matches, lots of 'I hate you', lots of 'I love you', and lots of semi heartbreak.

I will admit I've changed a little bit throughout the past 2 months, my sleeping problems are back, I feel numb sometimes and I just don't smile as often as I used to. I feel broken almost. But I guess that is just how I'm going to feel.

The day I broke up with Harry will always be in my memory. To this day I still don't know for sure why I did it. I guess I was just done.

After 2 months I still find myself thinking about Harry. Not just him, but the memories we had together, good and bad. All the fights and all the 'I hate you' and all the 'I love you'. Everything. It will never be out of my thoughts.