Mine

Ch. 8

I open Harry's door and shut it trying not to wake him up. I walk over to his sleeping body still on the floor. I take in everything, his messy bed hair, mouth partly open soft snores coming out if it, his hands slightly out in front of him holding on to where I was sleeping. His plain black sweater selves reveling his scared up flesh.

This is all my fault.

I'm a horrible, terrible, selfish person.

I tear up thinking about how happy Harry would be If I never split my coffee on him that cold Monday morning. He wouldn't have the scars he has today. He wouldn't have drank so much, he wouldn't have so many bad memories. He would be so happier if he never met me.

"Alex, are you okay? why are you crying?" I've been in such deep thought I didn't realize I was actually full on crying now. Which must have woken Harry up. He gets up and rushed over next to me on his bed and wrap his arms around my shaking body.

"H-Harry Im a horrible, terrible person. Your life would be so much happier, so much better if you had never met me." I sob into his chest

"Alex. Look at me, that Monday you split your coffee on me I will never forget. I will never want to go back in time and change anything that happened between us. All of our fights they make us who we are. I wouldn't want change a single thing." I look up at him, he is far to perfect for me. I don't deserve someone has good has him.

"Not even this?" I question him.

"Not even this, Alex you leaving me was the best for us. It made me realize that I need you more than I thought. That you are the stitches that hold me together. That you are my other Half witch I can't live with out. That you are the only thing that truly can make a bad day good. The only thing to me that makes a rainy day sunny. That you are in fact my everything. That I would be nothing with out you. And how much I truly love you."

I start to cry happy tears this time and my lips met his for the taste of strawberries which I will never get tired of. If I ever get the chance to relive anything it will be this very moment.

I just stay here sitting on Harry's bed kissing him. Not a kiss full of hunger and desire but a kiss full of passion and love. A true kiss that makes you get butterflies and makes you get so happy inside. I kiss that truly counts.

Nothing could mess up this moment except for reality. Reality is one true bastard. While I sit here having one of the best moments of my life reality is in the backing of my head messing it all up.

Alex, what about tour? you can't go to that. Things won't stay like this. He will get bored of you and go date so model. Don't be stupid Alex. Things change. Nothing good last forever. He will leave you just as you did to him. But this time you won't get another chance and he will be gone. He won't be yours. Remember the reason you left him in the first place? wasn't it because you were done?

I mess up the moment myself letting reality get fully to me.

"Harry no. Stop we need to talk." I back away from him to see he is not only confused but there is pain showing In his eyes.

"Alex whats wrong? what did I do?" He is frantic with his words

"Harry it's nothing you did. It's all me. Everything is always me. Stupid fucking reality gets in the way! I just don't know what to do. Harry I can't just sit here all happy kissing you just for you to leave again in a couple of weeks!" I let it all out I can't hold it in any longer reality is taking me over and I don't know how to stop it.

"Alex Alex calm down love, it will be okay I will just ask Paul if you can come on tour with us. It will be okay." He assures me. But I know it won't.

"No Harry what if he says no. Then we will be just throwing ourselves in the same cycle that made me leave! and I can't do that again. I just can't go back missing you and only seeing you on Skype if that! I just can't" I start tearing up now. What the hell is wrong with me.

"Alex stop. Just stop. You don't need to worry on the what ifs of life." He is trying to make this better but it's not working.

"Harry things won't stay like this." I just look away while Harry thinks about how to respond to me.

"Alex." I snap my head up and look at him waiting for him to say something other than my name, waiting for him to tell me we will be okay even though I know we won't be.

"Yes?" I finally question him after waiting a minuet or two.

"Alex, do you know how I would describe our love in one word?" he looks at me before continuing "I would describe our love as a boomerang because no matter how far we go, how hard we throw our love away, we alway come back wondering why me threw it in the first place." I just stair at him for a moment thinking about what he just told me and how correct it is.

I threw our love as hard as I could and look, we're with each other now. In Harry's bedroom at Louis house.

Harry and I have been on separate sides of the world he had always come back.