witch fit

the art of getting by [1]

in which i talk about how much i love people

alright so i've been very distracted lately, in a good way. i'm currently in a very good place and i say it to mean that i'm very happy right now.

i'm more than halfway through my summer vacation and i haven't really done anything extraordinary (just hold on a bit, i'll explain my first statements ^^ later). unlike other people, our family doesn't really go out on long trips or out of the country regularly especially because my parents work work work. they work like 6 days a week and sometimes it feels like sunday is still a working day because of all the calls they get. and i used to hate this so much (i still get irritated by the calls) because we barely get time to actually sit and talk and just bond. i'm a very affectionate person. i easily get emotional and i'm very attached to the people in my life. tbh i think this is like my best trait, my strength. i love making people know that i care about them. i like to think that it should be a thing that everyone should do ?? i mean, hey! if you care about someone just show them. amirite or amirite??

but i also think that just as it is my strength, it's also my weakness. i get easily offendeddndndn and when i'm hurt, i'll cry. I CRY EASILY IT'S ANNOYING I LOSE CONTROL OF MY FEELINGS. after crying, i usually just laugh it out and play it cool. but there are times, usually when i have heavier feelings, that i don't cry. and it's scary. i see people being filled to the brim with emotions and it's like they'll explode anytime. sometimes, i feel like i'm like that. to relieve myself, i usually just talk to myself and rant in my head. idk if anyone does that. i just rant and rant in my head and then at a certain point, i stop. and then i realize how messed up it is to allot a significant part of your day to just getting annoyed. i hate being mad at people/things. i hate negative feelings in general.

so all that messy stuff ^ leads to me to realizing how i should be so thankful about everyone in my life. honestly, i love my family i love my friends GOD BLESS EVERYONE. my family's gone through so much esp my parents. they work so much and it makes me so guilty to complain about washing the dishes when that's not even close to what they've been through. they spent 16 years in two other countries, away from their family (they had to leave my older siblings with my grandparents), working to get food on their plates while having to raise two kids (my little brother and i). i won't go to detail i just really want to put this out here: be thankful for your parents. really. show them you're grateful. show them you care. show them you love them and tell them. my mom and i fight a lot (most of the time over clothes, over little things) and i see how much it hurts her just as much as it hurts me, maybe even more. ik it can be said that fighting is just normal, but i hope we all learn to reduce the fighting because we don't have all the time in the world.

this should be extended even beyond your parents. i have three siblings and i love them all very much, but i'm closest to my little brother (who's not even little anymore but i still choose to call him that). my heart goes to him and to all the years we spent together, when the only person we could rely on was each other. we only have a gap of one year so it's like we grew up together. people always ask us if we're twins because we're like other versions of each other. i remember all those times we chased trains in paris, our little feet trying to keep up with our parents. i remember that one time mom was working and dad had to leave us in the apartment to buy mcdonald's. we stayed still in the room, holding each other. we were so young and smol. it makes me emotional thinking about those times. i don't think my young self would've made it without my brother. honestly. i love being an older sister. at such a young age, it made me feel like i was trustworthy enough to take responsibility over another person.

we were members of this christian group and during gatherings, adults would be separated from kids so kids were all supposed to be playing with each other. but my brother and i were very shy (still are, tbh) and we would just sit together at a corner and wait for our parents there--holding hands. my parents said we always held hands. it was like a big statement, all about relying on each other. and i  think that's lovely.

we've grown now. we've learned a lot. he's already towering over me, but our closeness hasn't changed. we've still got each other's backs. legit though, we still stick with each other whenever we're at social gatherings. it's been like a silent agreement.

alright, now i just want to throw a big THANK YOU to my friends. i really love them all so much and you!! you who's reading this, thank you for reading i appreciate it :)

so what i love most about my friends is that i feel like my friendship with them is longterm. i love how even though we don't talk everyday and don't see each other all the time (esp because it's summer), we've still got that sense of comfort. i don't feel awkward with them and i still feel like i can tell them anything like i always do.

so yes i'm in a very good place as of now. i hope you all are. i hope you get to this place where you feel very happy and everyone else is happy. our family had a reunion, we all went to this one resort and everyone was just hanging out and bonding with each other. we all stayed up together until like 1am just playing games and talking. it was really fun. also, my parents' and their co-workers had this team building thing and my brother and i went along so we could help our parents with the preparation and stuff. it was only for two days, but i've already got a spot in my heart for everyone who was there.

i'm just really happy and i wanted to share that with all of you. everyone deserves to be happy and if things aren't great as of now, they will be soon. just hang on in there. keep yourself motivated and don't give up on the people around you. ik i've borrowed so many cliches for this last paragraph but they've what i hung on to before and i still hang on to them. just spread love and smiles and laughters & the world will be a better place yay :--))))