TERRENCE’s POV
“Why did you just simply forget me? Why did you walk away? Am I that bad? Are you cursing me now? Are you happy that I’m here still thinking that we could fix this?” I asked myself thinking Jenna was in front of me. I wish we can talk. I would like her to hear from me my apologies, but she wouldn’t listen.
“Because you have someone now? Is that it? Or maybe you are just making me the bad guy here so their sympathies will go for you? Who is that guy by the way?” I can imagine myself asking her these questions so I can know where to start fixing this.
“I still love you. How about you? Is it gone forever now?” I uttered. I wasn’t like this. I never let my thoughts voiced out, but this time it was different. It felt like I will die if I never said it out loud. It hurt a lot.
Then…
“You simply don’t know what you’re saying.”
“With what I’ve heard, you still can’t get enough with her. You are so mad that seeing her with other guy still hurts you.” She smirked.
I didn’t know her. She looked familiar but I decided to stop figuring out who she was.
“You think that made you smart to guess what exactly I’m feeling right now?” I answered trying to portray a mad person but I couldn’t just stop cursing myself for letting myself air out my frustrations.
She then never stopped following me. I asked her what she wanted and she then directly said she wanted me to be her partner for next week’s play. Wow. She was brave to ask that straightly. I was starting to get curious about her. What does she want? She even tried blackmailing me for what she heard. Well it was no big deal if she would say it. Or it was.
I felt uneasy about that. I was starting to be a coward again. Why was it every time I’m thinking of Jenna, everything about me was falling.
I didn’t want her to know that I still love her because she said to me after the party that she wouldn’t dare having me back in her life and that if I love her I will stay away from her.
Fuck.
I didn’t know if I should follow what she said or fight for my feelings. I was too scared. I never felt this way before. I never cried and felt miserable with a girl.
I learnt that she was seeing someone now. Can you imagine? Was her love for real or not? But I couldn’t name her as girl who toys with a person’s feelings. She was perfect. I made the mistake here. I know. I should suffer. She deserved a free life. Away from me.
But why is it that every time I think about it, something was telling me that I am stupid? That she was just playing with me?
It brought my attention to reality when I still found myself talking to this girl. I almost lost my patience when she retorted that everyone wants me to be their partner except for Jenna.
Who was she to tell me that? What gave her the right?
I tried pinning her on the wall. Her brown eyes stared at me. She was shaking a bit. I was asking her. I would like to intimidate her.
I was enjoying that scene when someone pulled me and slapped her. It didn’t take me a minute to process who she was. I saw her at the corner of my eyes earlier that was why I tried getting closer to this girl. I would like to see her attention.
I felt guilty when she slapped her. Yes, Jenna. I saw Jenna. I knew I was bad for taking advantage, I also felt like the girl was hurt. Jenna slapped hard.
“The hell of you Terrence to humiliate me and now you’re making out of this girl? Taking the privilege when no one is around? So this is what you’re doing long before?” Now why was she acting this way? Was she jealous? I thought she told me to stay away?
“Suit yourself Jenna. I can make out if I like. Judge me, like you usually do. You should know when to act decently Jenna, you don’t have the rights to slap people whom you don’t know. What gives you the right by the way?” I queried. I felt I needed to defend this girl. I was sorry for what happened, I wish I was able to stop Jenna.
“You- We need to talk Terrence. I was shocked to see you here, but I was more shocked to see you with a girl.” Jenna finally said. I refrained myself from smiling. Now girls really want this certain act huh? I wondered why.
I was willing to talk to her but then I realized that I wasn’t prepared now. I still didn’t know what this lady besides me would say to the people if she saw that Jenna and I talked.
I decided to leave Jenna. I regretted that one. I wanted to hug her, but I said I will just walk away now. Just now.
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I asked the girl if she was fine, didn’t I? Well I can’t remember. I just said sorry and I walked away saying I would think of her offer. Maybe I should reconsider since she was slapped because of my silly act. I still didn’t ask for her name.
I knew she was my classmate, maybe then tomorrow I will know her.
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I hated school every morning after the party. They can judge me and I didn’t care at all. Crap people. I sat at the back. I knew there was this girl who always sat here.
And realization hit me.
It was her.
I was waiting for someone to mention her name but no one did. I looked at the door. I saw her. I liked how she looked today. I just realized she pretty. But not in attractive way for me. She sat without noticing me. She smelled like vanilla.
She was shocked when she noticed me. Finally. I would like to make fun of her this time. Her reactions were different. I couldn’t really recognize it. But it was different.
“So who’s the lucky girl, Mr. Baltimore?” I wasn’t really listening until he said my name. “Oh Ms. Lewis.” Oh. So she’s Ms. Lewis.
“You’re giving a big attention for this, guys. This is no big deal. It’s just Terrence.”
She said proudly. I was taken aback by that. Now this Lewis girl surprised me little by little. You will see then why this should be treated as a big deal.
Because I am Terrence.
