Erased (Complete)

Thoughts and Nightmares

"So you're done trying to train your quirk?"

I nodded, "It's been nearly two months. It's time we all moved on."

"That's fine and dandy, as long as you know that it can take years to get a handle on any given quirk."

"I've had years. If there was some improvement, any changes maybe... But I'm done trying."

"And you still don't want to be a hero?"

"I couldn't--"

"That's not what I asked. You don't want to be a hero?"

I sighed, "No."

"Okay. I don't know what to do next. Give me a day or two. I'll try to think of something. You can't just sit in here forever wasting your life."

"What?"

He headed for the door without another word.

"Well, fine then." I walked to my room, and I cried the rest of that day away.

***

The next two days passed with no word from Aizawa, in the evenings I walked the neighborhood. I listened to the lives of people around me, but I felt little in response. I couldn't get myself to care about them. How was I supposed to? It's not like any of them cared about me, I wasn't even a face in the crowd, just a mask.

They thought I was strange, they always did. I knew my parents, though they'd grown accustomed to my quirk, struggled to understand it.

Aizawa was the first person in years, so many years, to really try to help me. And I was going to lose him, because I didn't want to be a hero.

I sighed and found in all my thinking, I'd lost track of my steps. "Shit..."

I pulled out my phone, "What's my location?" I'd walked farther than I thought. I was just a block from UA. I moved my cane along the ground to find a bench before sitting down.

If i'm not training to be a hero, I'll never get to see Aizawa again. I'll go back to being no one and nothing. I'll have to go back to my parents just to talk to people.

"You're looking very deep in thought, Miss Leah."

"Principal Nedzu?

"Yes."

"What are you doing out here? School is still in."

"Just out for a little stroll. What has you this far away from home?"

"I lost track of my steps, ended up here."

"I see, and what are you thinking about?"

I folded my hands in my lap, "Life, I guess. I'm... I'm really depressed again. I don't want to lose all of you as friends because I can't be a hero."

"That's not how friends work, Miss Leah."

"But I told Aizawa I didn't want to train anymore and he hasn't talked to me in two days."

"Aizawa has been quite busy with his classes. It's a very important time in the semester, i'm sure you'll hear from him soon. Do you want me to call you a car to get home?"

"No. Thank you, but I think the walk home will be enough time to finish contemplating life before I go to bed."

"Okay, well, if you need to talk your friends will be there for you, Miss Leah."

"Thank you, Principal Nedzu." I stood and started back for my apartment.

***

I walked into the crowd before I took off my mask and I watched as they all froze. Their faces carefree, walking with loved ones. All of them, soon to be dead.

With me around it was going to be the easiest bombing with the highest number of casualties imaginable. No one saw us coming, no one knew me so of course they couldn't.

I glanced at the gadget in my hand as I backed away from the device on the ground. Everyone was still in my line of sight, no one but me was leaving that day.

"Don't do this."

The voice was behind me, I couldn't turn to him without releasing the crowd.

"You're too late, Aizawa, erasing my powers now won't save anyone. No one will have time to run."

"Don't make me take you down, Leah."

"That's all you can do." I lifted my hand with the detonator--

"No!" My own voice woke me. I sat up shakily and glanced at the time on the clock. Just past three in the morning.

I sighed and reached for my phone to send a text. "Aizawa, I know it's late. I need someone. I need a friend."

A few minutes later my phone rang. "Is everything alright, Leah?"

"No--yeah...no. I had a dream--a nightmare. I killed so many people," I cried.

"It was a dream, that wasn't you."

"It could be. So easily. I just got a glimpse of how I could be a villain. It was so horrible. I've always said my power was better for--but I never actually thought about how."

"It doesn't mean anything, Leah, you aren't a villain. You're just a civilian."

"I know but--"

"No, buts, you aren't a villain, you'll never be a villain."

"What if I become one. You said it yourself. I don't have a connection with people, that would make it so much easier to torment or kill them."

"Leah, you contacted me because you had a nightmare. That's a connection. It doesn't take many to keep someone whole... Tomorrow evening I'll come get you, and we'll go have a drink, okay? We can talk more then."

"Okay.."

"Are you okay to be alone?"

"I want to say yes. But I'm shaking. It's I was so scared... But I'll be okay."

"I'll just stay on the phone until one of us falls asleep. Lay back down put the phone on speaker on the night stand. And relax."