Confusion

Chapter 2

Let me know what ya think :)

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I stayed up all night reading my favorite book, The Fault in Our Stars.

This book has me in a hysterical state of crying every time.

When I finally stopped crying and wiped the makeup from under my eyes, I went downstairs to eat breakfast. I was hoping my mom would make me something but there was a note on the counter saying she had to go into the office early. Looks like I'm having cereal.

I got the biggest bowl I could find and filled it to the top with frosted flakes. I pretty much inhaled it then went to the living room to watch tv. I put on 16 and Pregnant, thinking to myself how much that would have ruined my life and future. Well thank god it didn't.

After about 2 hours of sitting around doing nothing, I decided to call Brent.

He told me I should come over and we can print out the applications for NYU.

So I agreed and quickly got dressed in jean shorts and a black tank top. I went out to my car and drove to Brent's. I always liked going to his apartment, especially because he lived alone so there were no interruptions. Me and Brent were still both virgins but we liked to have a good make out session now and then.

I walked into his apartment, not bothering to knock, and he greeted me with a big smile. I walked over and sat next to him on the couch. He showed me two applications to NYU that he had just printed out.

"I really hope we both get in!" He said, looking a little unsure.

"I'm sure we will, don't worry." I answered hoping that he would be more confident with himself.

He smiled and handed me one of the applications and it took us about an hour to fill them out so we were happy.

When we were done, he asked me if I wanted to go to the mall or something. I agreed because I was hoping to buy some new makeup soon.

He offered to drive us both there and I agreed. For some reason the car ride felt kind of awkward. We didn't really talk and it just felt distant and uncomfortable.

We pulled into the parking lot and ran inside because now it was down pouring. We immediately went into Target where I got new mascara and some liquid eyeliner, which I never use but why not give it a try. Brent bought a new beanie which I personally didn't like because it covered his blond hair but he seemed to love it so I said nothing about it. We walked around for a little then decided to get something to eat at the food court. We got some subs at subway and sat at a nearby bench.

We sat there eating quietly and the awkwardness was back, this time he noticed it to because he put his hand on my thigh and asked me if anything was wrong,

"Oh..um I'm just nervous about getting into NYU." I lied

He just nodded and we got up to throw our trash away. We walked back out to his car but he didn't turn the car on right away. He looked at me and said "Are you sure that's all that's bothering you?"

"Ya, I mean what else would it be" I said even though I knew what it meant. It meant I don't feel the same about him as I have the past 3 years. But I couldn't just straight up say it to him. We have known each other so long and it would break him.

Even though this is cruel, the only thing I could hope for is that one of us gets accepted to NYU and the other doesn't. That way I could call him and say it because I know I could never bear to see the look on his face if I said it in person.

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Sorry if this sucked, I have writers block and I'm writing this on a bus so I don't have a lot of time to think of creative stuff but still hope you like it! Xoxo