A Crybaby in the Badlands: HALSANIE

7 - Ghost Training Wheels

The next day, we all broke up into tour groups for the city. Everyone walked the Colosseum together, then we broke off into groups of four. I was blessed with the best chaperone, Miss Kirkwood. She took us to an Italian cuisine restaurant, and I got an amazing slab of chicken Parmesan.

After we ate, we went walking in a local park, me and the other three students with us, Brendon, Yaileen, and Ryan, relished our inner-child and played on a playground.

A few of the Roman residents complimented Yaileen and I on our "foreign beauty", and we blushed and thanked them, returning the compliment.

Miss Kirkwood ran to the portapotty with Brendon and Yaileen, and the couple held hands the entire way. I sat on the swing set with Ryan at my side, turning my nose up to the sky.

"I know you're faking it," Ryan said out of the blue.

I looked up and faced him. "What?" I asked, quirking a brow. My blood roared in my ears and my knuckles turned red as I gripped the swing chain.

"Your fun," Ryan replied, kicking himself back and forth. "Your smile on this trip is fake, I can tell."

I let out a long sigh of relief, but made it sound like a depressed one, nodding slowly.

"Maybe because the stress of your fake relationship with Melanie is getting to you."

I whipped my head back towards him, speechless. I was sure I'd gotten ghost white, and my eyes were practically popping out of my head.  "You—"

"Know? Yes," Ryan nodded, looking at me in disappointment. "You're always hesitant around her, I can see it. Plus, being the faggot I am— it's okay for me to say it— my gaydar is insanely in tune, and it doesn't go off for you. The only thing I don't get, is why?"

"Why? Why fake it?" I asked, praying the others came back soon, but at the same time worrying that he might still want to discuss it with them present. "I— I don't know."

"You must have some motive. What is it?" His eyes were like daggers, stabbing deeper into me with each moment I hesitated. "I get if it's a secret. It's probably for a petty reason anyway."

My eyes welled up with tears, and slowly, they started pouring out. "Ryan.. I was faking at first, and yes, the reason is petty, but now... There's something about her. I'm not sure if I'm bisexual, or straight les, but..."

"It's okay, this is difficult to talk about. Sexuality is a sensitive subject. We don't have to talk about it now, or ever, but if you ever want to, I'm here." He stood and hugged me, sitting in my lap as I sat stiff on the swing.

"WOOOOT, kiss 'er! Kiss 'er!" Yaileen and Brendon cheered from the sidelines, and I got even stiffer.

Ryan hopped off of me, and I realized they were just walking up, thank God.

"Oh, hush," Ryan sighed. "Miss Kirkwood, where next?"

"We can go to some sort of gift shop, then we need to head back to the travel bus," Miss Kirkwood replied. She led us off, using some map app. Ryan and Brendon walked behind her, and Yaileen and I walked behind them.

"Want some Roman candy?" I offered Yaileen, taking said treat out. She grabbed for it immediately and I chuckled. "Rome is so beautiful. Say cheese!" I held up my phone for a selfie, and the two of us both instinctively made silly faces.

We Rome-d– haha— the gift shop innocently, knowing our pockets were close to empty, and we were in Rome for a whole 'nother day. I had money still in my suitcase, but it was emergency money.

Maybe I could just tell my parents there was an emergency? Like, I needed a new phone charger and the only ones they sold in Rome were golden and HELLA expensive?

Maybe I befriended a turtle in Italy, and I named him Sir Turd, and he died because he choked on an ice cream cone I probably shouldn't have fed him, and I needed to throw him the BEST burial ever?

Hm, sounds believable to me.

We got back to the tour bus just as the sun began to set. In America, it was still yesterday.

I didn't sit next to Melanie on the bus, and instead sat next to Ryan. I heard people asking if her and I were okay, but few of them asked me.

I talked to Ryan about sexuality and all that jazz, but despite all his advice, I still wasn't certain. Maybe my night with Melanie was just a one time thing? Maybe hormones turned me on, and that was all?

I just... Could I like girls?

Or maybe just... This girl?

"Demisexual," Ryan said suddenly, stroking his hairless chin as if provoking thought. "Maybe that's what you are."

"What? What's that again?" I asked, blushing. I was embarrassed that I'd forgotten.

"It's when you only fall for someone after forming a deep emotional bond with them," Ryan explained, pulling out his phone. "When I think about it, it took Josh almost two years to win you over, didn't it?"

I wrinkled my nose as he was mentioned, having not thought of him the entire trip up until now. "I guess. Me and Mel don't really have an emotional bond like that though. At least, I don't think we do."

"Well, look at it this way," Ryan replied. "If you don't somehow fall for Melanie, and she finds out you were lying to her, she'll be heart broken, maybe depressed, and most definitely angry. We've all seen Mel after a breakup, and yikes. So, you'd better figure it out."

He put his ear buds in and I slouched in my seat, peeking over my shoulder to look at Melanie. My girlfriend. My fake girlfriend, and she didnt even know it.

I almost got up to speak to her, but before I could, I heard a loud crash, some screaming, and then an eerie silence. The skies inside my eyes were back to black.