The Skin I'm In

1

Tylertown, Mississippi 1958

I was brushing my black curly hair with my brush, smoothing it up to a high ponytail. I then placed my pearl earrings on.

I stared at myself in the mirror and looked at my face, my light caramel face. It's hard being the skin I'm in, so hard that sometimes I just want to be white, sometimes I just want to know how it feels being rich, having a nice house, having nice hair, nice clothes, nice public bathroom, nice cars, nice everything.

I let out a sigh and went out of my room. "Mama?!" I yelled to see if she was still at home.

"Yes, baby?" I heard her from the kitchen so I walked towards her voice and saw her making some food at the stove.

"I'm going to pick up Thomas at school". Thomas is my little brother, He is 7 and a half but he is very smart when he wants to be.

"Okay honey. Are you still going to work tomorrow?"

"Yes"

"Okay, I'll leave you some food when you come back".

"thank you, bye Mama."

"Bye."

I walked out of the house. My mom and I were the only ones that have jobs in the house, the only ones who try our hardest to help Thomas. I never knew what happened to my dad. The last time I saw him was when I was about the same age as Thomas. He said he was going to travel to Atlanta to visit his family but he never made it back. We haven't heard him since. I miss him sooo much. I try my best to make him proud.

I walked to the bus stop and waited till the bus came. I turned around and saw my best friend walking towards me. "Hey Ruby!!" she waved at me.

"Hey girl!" I waved back. Her name is Pamela. She's a little darker than me and has short little curls and very pretty. We have known each other since we were 10 years old.

"Did you hear about the news in Atlanta?"

"yea it's crazy over there," I replied. Sometimes I wonder if those crazy things happening in Atlanta could be the reason why my dad is missing.

"You know what's crazy? She stared at me.

I gave her a confused look. "what?"

"Us being treated differently because of our skin color." She said crossing her arms while rolling her eyes.

"Pam...." The thing about Pamela was that she has more confidence than me, she will fight for her rights, not me. Whatever they tell me to do I do it. "Don't fight with them whites", my grandmother would always say, it just gets worst. I don"t break the rules either which is also something Pamela does which also sometimes scare me, I don't want nothing bad happening to her that can get herself in danger.

"What? You know its true. Imagine us being the most successful and intelligent black women on earth, that would be amazing" she smiled which made me smiled.

"yea that would be amazing" I agreed.

The bus finally came. We went inside and as usual, we sat at the back of the bus. The usual routine behind the sign that says "blacks only".

"One day when I get my children I ain't gonna to let them end up like me, they will grow up to be better than me"

"Me too" nodding my head.

"Speakin of kids when are you going to find yourself a man?"

"Pam , not right now please" I don't think I will ever be with a man. A man right now would just be a distraction of what I'm trying to do for my family.

"Let me help you, Your beautiful anyways so you don't have to worry" She smiled  and giggled with a little too much excitement.

I smiled at her "thank you but no thanks"

"There's a lot of fine black gentlemen around these parks"

"I guess" I shrugged.

"Are you going to pick up Thomas from school?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Tell him I said hi ok?"

"ok" it was Pam's last stop.

"I have to go, see you at work tomorrow."

"Bye," I waved to her as she left the bus.

I was now sitting by myself in my seat. I looked up and saw a white man looking at me. I was so confused, Did I do something wrong? I looked at my window to the side trying to ignore his stare but once I looked back at him after a couple of minutes he was still staring at me.

My heart was beating fast. I was scared of what is going to happen. He then smiled at me and turned away.

Finally, it was my stop. I got off the train and walked towards the school. Thomas ran and hugged me.

"How was school?" I smiled at him.

"Good, I had a lot of fun today."

"Pam said hi"

"Is she with you?"

"No, she left."

"awww man" he gave a sad face.

We went back home and mama open the door for us. "hi Mama" Thomas said smiling.

We went in. "Hi baby, how was school?"

"Good but I have homework. I have to write 5 sentences about the people I love". he cheered.

"Make sure you write about your sister and me," Mom said pinching his cheeks.

"I will" he ran to my room and I'm guessing he's starting on his homework.

"Mom? I thought you were going to work today?"

"I'm sorry honey, I'm just too tired. I'll work tomorrow." Both of us can't work on the same day.

"But then who is going to pick up Thomas." I was getting a little frustrated.

"Oh, crap. I forgot. you can stay here." She let out a sigh.

"Mom, I-"

"Honey I'll work the whole week. don't worry bout it okay?"

"ok..."

The phone rang. "Will you get that for me?" she asked.

I picked up the phone and answered "Hello?"

"Can I speak to Ruby?"

"Ruby is speaking."

"Oh hello it's Pamela"

"Hey, Pam!"

"Dress up nice tomorrow at work"

"I'm not going to work tomorrow. I have to pick up my brother but  Why?"

"There is a guy that wants to see you," she said excitedly.

I got a little suspicious. "Why?"

"You'll see" she giggled.

Whatever Pam trying is trying to do hopefully its something good. but I doubt it.