Broken

Chapter 8

- AHHHHHH I HAVENT UPDATED IN A MONTH!!!!!! I SORRRRRRRYYYYYYYY! PLEASE DONT HATE ME!!!!!! (This chapter is sort of sad so hopefully you don't hate me even more) BUT I SORRRRRRRYYYYYYY AGAIN!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYSSSSS!

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Today, Ezra was going to meet Ahsoka, which he was very worried about. What if she didn't like him, or thought he was bad and forced him to leave the Ghost crew? He was told that Ahsoka was this Fulcrum person and was a very high rank, their boss really, so she could probably do anything. Kanan said before that they weren't going to leave him again, but if Ahsoka said that he had to go, would they leave him behind? Ezra's face contorted with worry as his hands started to shake; would they give him back to the empire?

Zen was sitting next to him as him, Sabine, Chopper and Ezra were in the cockpit waiting for Kanan and Hera to come back with Ahsoka. He looked at the teen, worried, and nudged the kid's knee with his own.

"Hey, you okay, kid?" He asked, his voice ruff as usual.

"Huh? Oh. U-um yeah, I'm fine..." Ezra replied, his voice still slightly quiet and shy around the lasat.

"Okay." Zeb didn't believe him at all, but he knew not the push the subject unless needed and he knew Ezra still wasn't totally comfortable around him but, he was warming up. The lasts would have gotten Kanan but he was waiting to greet Ahsoka and tell her more about Ezra. Like the small and big details she needed to know, just in case as the Jedi phrased it himself, so he wasn't here at the moment. And neither was Hera because as said earlier, she was with him. So it was only the rest of them in the room, and none of them knew how to comfort him and the teen was more comfortable around Kanan and Hera, so Ezra would push them away. Even if he would push Hera or Kanan away sometimes, he would always end up confiding to them or they would come to him, but they weren't available at the moment.

Soon, the four of them heard the cockpit door open and they all turned to see Kanan, Hera and Ahsoka. Ezra's eyes opened wider slightly and he turned away shyly, averting his eyes. Behind his back, Ahsoka smiled softly at the back of his head and looked to Kanan. He looked back at her and nodded towards the raven-haired teen. She slowly took a few steps toward Ezra and kneeled down next to him.

"Hi, my name is Ahsoka. It's nice to meet you, Ezra." She said softly, smiling in his direction.

"H-hi..." he whispered in reply, his eyes still not meeting her's.

"It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you. You probably already know this but I'm Fulcrum, and I am apart of this rebellion just like you. It was very important that I meet you, I hear you are being trained by Kanan?"

He nodded sharply, but he still hadn't looked up at her yet. Kanan began to step forward to help but was stopped by an arm blocking in path. He looked down at Hera, who was the person blocking him, with a questioning look.

"She can handle it, don't worry. She's good at what she does." The twi-lek whispered to him. The Jedi looked to Ahsoka and Ezra who were talking silently to each other, "Look, Kanan, I know you're worried about him but he's okay right now. He's just nervous about meeting a new person, especially Fulcrum.

Kanan nodded in reply and whispered a slight 'okay' and stood back. He watched as Ezra smiled slightly and Ahsoka lightly laughing and smiled as well. Everyone in the room was smiling at the two and they all knew that they would get along but, Ezra would still have to get comfortable around her as he is still with Zeb, Sabine and Chopper.

Ahsoka got up and walked to Kanan and smiled at the two of them. Kanan sighed in relief and smiled back, as did Hera.

"Okay, come on guys, let's go to the common room. We need to talk about the next supply run." Hera said.

Soon, they all filed out except for Ezra and Kanan. The Jedi was facing the door but looked behind him to see Ezra with his head in his hands.

"Hey, what wrong, Ezra?" He asked.

"It's nothing... nothing."

"It's not nothing from what I can see. Come on, you can tell me."

Ezra sighed and shook his head, "I'm fine."

Kanan looked at Ezra, his expression softening. He could feel Ezra's distress but didn't exactly know what was wrong, so he planned to find out. He walked toward him and kneeled down. He rested his hand on the boy's knee and looked up at him. Ezra looks away, feeling Gerri me about himself and the way people have to deal with him.

He felt disgusted about himself. He couldn't properly talk to people, others has to treat him like a small five year old and he despised it, so much. He felt worthless, like a burden and no matter how many times Kanan or anybody told him he wasn't, he didn't and couldn't believe them. He hated himself, he couldn't do anything right, he was ugly, stupid and he didn't know why people cared. But they did care, and he felt selfish for liking it because he didn't deserve any of the time and care others gave him. And he certainly didn't deserve a family.

"Ezra, please look at me." Kanan begged, and in return, Ezra did look at him and what Kanan saw in the boy's eyes made him feel awful. Ezra was such and exact book to read sometimes, and the boy's eyes were filled with so much self-loathing. There's was so much hatred in his eyes, but it wasn't directed towards anyone but himself.

"Kanan, I already told you, I'm fine. Now we need to head down to the common room for the mission." Ezra said bitterly, and got up from his seat.

"Hey! Why won't you tell me what's wrong? What's with the sudden mood change, I just saw you smiling a few minutes ago." Kanan grabbed the teens arm before he could leave the room.

Ezra roughly took his arm back and glared at the Jedi, "Just because I was smiling, doesn't mean I was happy, Kanan."

The teen walked out of the room, leaving Kanan there shocked. What just happened, he thought. Ezra had never done that before, what's going on? And why wasn't he telling him anything? The Jedi just shook his head quickly and began his way to the common room. He entered the room to hear the words he wasn't ready for.

"And Ezra, you're going in this mission as well." Ahsoka said.

"Wait what." Kanan asked bewildered. He looked over to Ezra, who was leaning against the wall in the far back of the room, and the boy showed no emotion what so ever.

"Yes, Kanan. Ezra is going to be on this mission. I believe he's ready."

"But-"

"Kanan," Ezra cut off the Jedi, "I can go on the mission, it's fine." He said, not taking a single glance toward the man.

After that, Kanan went silent. Hera looked at both of her boys in concern, wanting an explanation. The teen didn't even spare her a glance at her either and Kanan just shook his head, mouthing that he would tell her later.

Kanan slightly glanced over at the teen and thought of what happened back in the cockpit. He still didn't understand what was going on with Ezra, but he knew something was wrong after seeing all that self-hatred in the boy's eyes, and he didn't like it. He needed to find out what was wrong.

Just looking at him, he didn't just act differently, he looked differently. Not appearance wise, nothing like that, but his stance was different. His glance was different, his body language was different. He was standing lazily against the wall, but he also looked tense. It wasn't unusual for him to be tense, but the boy looked to be normal. Almost too normal, and not his usual normal. He didn't look like himself. He acted as if everything was fine, almost as if nothing had happened back there even though he knew it happened. He looked too fine for Kanan's liking, and he knew something was wrong bug, he didn't know how bad it actually was.

Because it was terrible.

Ezra felt as if he could breakdown at any moment. He was barely paying attention to what everyone was taking about because he couldn't. He wanted to scream out so loudly, he wanted to let everything out, to cry. But he wasn't going to, because he'd been doing that a lot lately and he felt disgusted by it and himself. He didn't need anyone worrying about him anymore, he didn't need to waste anybody's time. So, he want going to talk to anybody about his problems anymore.

He just hoped that could last.

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- please don't hate me. I wuv u.