Broken

Chapter 9

Hi
Yeah I know, I'm terrible at updates.
I'm sorry
*tries to block tomatoes being thrown at me*
I SAID I WAS SORRY
don't hate me plez
I love u
Okay, anyways
I'm sorry for not updating even though I put in the summary slow updates cause I'm not good at updating
I FEEL BAD FOR NOT UPDATING OKAY?
So I wrote a chapter probably a while ago and I lost it so I didn't feel comfortable writing another one because it could've been worse than this one and blah blah blah yeah
But, I found it and I typed it up since I write everything on paper before typing it
So here you go
I hope you enjoy and don't hate me
It probs bad but it's an update
Gotta blast
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Kanan and Ezra still haven't spoken in three days. They haven't trained together either and the supply run was today. Everyone had taken notice to it but decided not to ask about it, as they assumed they would make up eventually. That hasn't happened in the past three days.

After the meeting three days ago with Ahsoka, Kanan told Hera about what happened with Ezra after she pulled him out of the room forcefully. Hera's only advice for him was to talk to Ezra, and no matter how many times he said he would, he never did. He couldn't really. Not because something of the outside world was stopping him, it was because he was stopping himself.

He didn't know how to approach the boy. Ezra hasn't been the same after the meeting with Ahsoka. It wasn't Ahsoka's fault of course, but Kanan knew that Ezra had the tendency to overthink. Kanan didn't think whatever was happening to Ezra was going to be this serious the first day it happened, the that had changed quickly.

Walking through the halls of the Ghost and passing by Ezra was uncomfortable for the both of them. They would maybe bump into each other in the halls and Kanan would look back at the teen, but Ezra wouldn't spare him a glance and kept walking ahead. They wouldn't look each other in the eye, and when the other wasn't looking, one of them would always be looking at the other for a slight second but, they still wouldn't speak to each other. It was king of awkward, especially when around their other crew mates. Everyone could feel the tension between them and nobody, not even Kanan, understood why it was happening in the first place.

It was as if Ezra had flipped a switch, and nobody knew why, and he wouldn't tell them either.

Neither of them would approach each other no matter how much they wanted too. Ezra wanted to open up to him, tell him how he was feeling and right when he believes he's going to do it, he stops himself. He tells himself that he shouldn't be burdening other people with his problems, that he doesn't need to tell anyone. Cause who would care anyways?

"Kanan would." Ezra always thought, but he would always shake that thought from his head and keep everything to himself. It's was a dangerous thing to do, but he honestly didn't care.

Ezra thought that all he was doing was burdening everyone but if only he could truly understand how much they truly cared about him, but he wouldn't listen to the other voices in his head telling. The kind voices that could only be slightly heard from the back of his head as they told him kind things, they would tell him that he wasn't a burden, that these people around him truly cared, but the millions of loud, negative voices destroyed the kind thoughts and replaced them with mean and crude thoughts. So he couldn't believe the kind voices in the back of his head, and he could barely hear them.

There was also a few more things bothering Ezra. He was having nightmares, but they seemed too vivid to be just nightmares. And, of course, he wouldn't  tell anybody about them and he decided to just endure them for the time being. Though they kept getting worse every night. They always included the inquisitor, he always seemed to be attacking them, he would always end up being taken away again and that itself is a nightmare he wouldn't be able to go through again. After every nightmare, the teen would end up not going back to sleep and he would stare at the ceiling above him, waiting for the correct time to get up. He looked terrible after those nights (which was every night to be exact) and he had dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep.