My depressing journal

Entry 2

I feel numb. Everything's closing in around me, no ones here to help. I'm all alone trapped in my own mind. I keep hearing things like the faint tic tock of a clock but there is no clock, there's nothing. Just me in an empty room with nothing but my thoughts. I had something weird happen to me today. I heard a voice, no one was there. I'm going insane I know I am. I no longer feel any emotions apart from happiness and relief when I drag that cold metal razor across my wrists. The joy I feel when I look down and see what I have done overwhelms me, it's almost too hard to describe. I need a change something new. Maybe if they don't recognise me I can be able to make a brand new fresh start and try to be happy again. But there's always the what if's. What if they recognise you? What if you don't get happier? What if they hate you more? What if no one will like you? The voices are back again they're stronger than ever I'm losing control over my own body. I need help but I don't seek out and get it. My minds filled with pain and paranoia. They think I might have schizophrenia and a borderline personality disorder. I can't handle it. I've said goodbye too many times before maybe I'll just end it all and make it easier for myself.