How It Felt (João Constancia)

Chapter Three

"D-did I say something wrong?" he asked. Ni hindi ako makatingin sa kanya dahil nakatabon yung dalawang palad ko sa mukha ko. Iyak pa rin ako ng iyak.

"Huy, Lacey... Sorry na," sabi niya habang pilit na tinatanggal iyong palad ko sa mukha ko.

"Not your fault," I said in between sobs.

"Wag ka na umiyak. People might think that I'm cruel to you or something," he said.

Hindi ko naman napigilan iyong tawa ko. Seryoso? Iniisip niya yun? Well, after all, it's not everyday that you get to see a crying teenage girl in a supermarket.

"Here," sabi niya sabay punas ng luha ko gamit ang panyo niyang dala. Ang weird talaga niya. Nakatali kase yung panyo niya sa likod ng pants niya.

I felt João's arms dragging me into a certain direction and I suddenly found ourselves inside an ice cream shop.

"Ice cream makes me happy. It's my comfort food. I hope it'll make you feel lighter." Bigla niyang nilagay yung isang cup ng ice cream sa harap ko.

"T-thank you."

"Wag ka na umiyak. Ano ba ginawa nung Russell na yun sa'yo?" tanong niya.

"He... he left me. He promised not to, pero ginawa niya pa rin," I explained.

"Talaga? Well, he's an asshole. Anong address at telepono niya?"

"Why?"

"Pupuntahan at uupakan ko para sa'yo."

I started laughing. Again.

"He's in Chicago right now. And you don't have to hurt him for me."

"If that's what you say," he shrugged.

"It just.. hurts a lot. Up until now. Alam mo, sometimes I wonder if I'm not enough or worthy. I ask myself if I ever did anything wrong to make him leave. Pero all I figured is that I did everything to make him happy... pero wala pa rin. Hindi pa rin pala sapat."

"Baka hindi lang talaga siya yung lalaking para sa'yo," he said with a small smile on his face.

"I don't know," I said, wiping my tears off. I don't want to dwell in this sorrow again.

"If you ever need a friend, I'm just here. Trust me, I know how you feel," sabi niya.

"Salamat."

The next few days went by so fast and before I knew it, start na ulit ng academic year.

Kung last year eh focused ako sa pag-aaral, ngayon ay mas kailangan kong mag focus pa. Nabanggit kase sa akin dati ni Russell na mahirap daw ang 12th Grade. Ahead siya sakin ng isang taon.

Russell na naman.

Huminga ako ng malalim bago tuluyang pumasok sa school gate. Susubukan ko na talagang kalimutan siya.

"Uy Lacey!" Chloe shouted right after she saw me in the hallway.

"Chloe!" I exclaimed then hugged her.

"Girl, andami kong chika sa'yo!" Eto na naman siya. What's new? Syempre marami syang kwento palagi.

"Oh, ano naman yun?"

"Diba may bagong student... si João. Naalala mo? Yung tinext ko sa'yo," excited niyang sabi.

"Oo. Nameet ko na siya," I said.

"Eh nameet mo na pala e. Wala na akong ikekwento. So ano pasok ba sa checklist mo?" tanong niya.

Mejo naguluhan naman ako sa kanya. "Huh?"