[8] Myself

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  "Its better to burn out than to fade away"





    The sun crept over the L's bridge, shinning on my face. I was numb, feeling the warmth touch my skin. Pull back. The blood rushes in. I got it. Slowly push the plunger? I want this to last. Pull it back out again, the blood swirls back in. Now. Squeeze. This is what they mean by a rush. It rushes up my arm in tingles. Then it hits. Its like a mini explosion of pure pleasure.   Everything is blissful and beautiful psychologically. I love everything. It is pure joy to  be alive, to have a body; briefly that is the only awareness. Fading in and out I hear the beauty of a song play threw my head phones. His voice touched my soul making me try and smile.

    Several hours later I woke up to my own talking feeling groggy, with a headache that boomed louder than my pulse.  Sitting up very slowly, I'd seen that I had fallen into my room threw my window. Everything hurt and felt clouded, after what felt like an hour, I was finally able to walk around. I plugged my phone into my speaker and tuned on my favorite station on Pandora. Nirvana came on playing "Smells Like Teen Spirit". I couldn't help but laugh at the thought knowing how much he hated his own number one hit single. My door vibrated from the pounding that came from the other side, my mom was livid and most likely drunk. "Turn that shit down!", she yelled over the song. I was not in any mood, nor shape to argue so I turned it down. I pulled down my sleeve hiding  the horror I've conflicted. It was swollen, bruised, and lumpy. Every addicted had this somewhere. My phone buzzed causing the music to lower in volume then back to the set volume, I looked at it seeing that lip had texted me several times threw out the night.

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Lip (2:34 pm): yo lets meet up at 5 instead

Lip (4:45 pm): hey I'm headed to the L

Lip (5:47 pm): yo you ok?

Lip (5:55 pm): hello?

Lip (6:00pm): ????

Lip (6:30):  i went home so just call me

[Missed call from Lip]

[New Voicemail]

Lip (11:30 pm): yo boe what the hell

Lip (11:32 pm): nobody has heard from you are ok???

[Missed call from Lip]

[Missed call from Lip]

[New Voicemail]

[Missed Call from Fiona]

[New Voicemail]

Ian (1:45 am): Hey everyone is worried about you. Give us a call

[Missed call from Ian]

Lip (3: 24 am): call me when you wake up

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I felt bad seeing that they cared for me so much. Instantly I changed clothes and went out my window and started walking to the Gallagher's house. Fiona sat on the stares talking to Debbie.

I walked over shyly, "Hey guys...".

"Well holy shit! She lives!", Fiona said with a chuckle.

"Where were you!?", Debbie said sternly.

I chuckled, "Um uh, my bedroom."

Fiona looked at me like she could sense my lie starting to brew, "Parent problems?".

I shrugged, " Sure you could say that."

Lip came out of the house like he was on a mission but froze and walked much slower, "Well, you must be a zombie."

"Yeah, I guess so", I smiled.

He finished his way down the stairs, "I'm gonna show Boe around", he said looking at Fiona.

"Have fun", she chuckled turning to start talking to Debs again. 










Hey readers! In this chapter I took a huge turn with Boe's character from what I originally had planned. I'm open for any ideas or things you'd want to see happen. Feel free to comment or message me anything! Love you guys!

S P I L T ° Phillip GallagherWhere stories live. Discover now