taken [loki laufeyson]

11: out of reach

Okay but before the chapter, imagine him walking up to you like this... wow

-

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.

Not that that is something new. But about different things. My mind is focused on one thing: Allissa. And that's where I'm headed now as I meander through the complex cluster of grand, golden rooms and hallways that live up to their reputation that is the castle of Asgard. To see her.

I can practically feel burning hatred in these walls. Like my presence casts a shadow of shame upon Asgard's glorified legacy. Bitter memories resurface in the back of my skull, but I push them back down into the hellish hole they came from. Always there, lingering in my thoughts, behind everything I do and feel, haunting me forever.

Turning a corner, the hallway opens up into the dungeons. I slow down a bit, not wanting to express eagerness. That is seen as weak.

She hasn't noticed my arrival yet, still tucked in the corner of the cell reading one of the books I've brought her. Her hair flows down her shoulders in waves; those startling brown eyes consuming the words in her book. My gaze travels farther down to her rosy lips. I can feel my pulse quicken.

A surge of anger sparks inside of me. I can't love her. I can't. But I do anyways, pushing those feelings away, sure I will regret them later.

Still concealed in the dark, I step a little closer to the cell, very careful with my movements, as she is as shy and hidden as a deer that will be scared off with even the slightest of disruption. My attempts are useless though, as she looks up from her book slowly, confronting me with her eyes, which are a startling, deep brown.

Usually I can predict people quite easily-- that's a skill that is good to have when playing with pawns and planning out revenge. If I want to bait someone, that's easy. Take someone they hold closely to their heart, threaten to kill them, then kill the bait for fun. Rub it in their face a little. Look like your enjoying it enough and the pawn will come running. If I want to break someone, do a little soul searching, find an insecurity or painful memory, and just keep poking at it. Once they're broken, their mind is just a shell that can be filled with whatever, free to do anyone's bidding, like the pathetic mortal Barnes. Easy.

Even after considering all the factors in this situation, I still cannot predict what she'll do. I have no clue how she will react. And I haven't visited her for days, leaving her to heal on her own. Nervousness squirms inside of me.

"Loki." Allissa's voice is steady and strong. The way she says my name drives me crazy. "Hey . ." Hints of vulnerability, sorrow, and fear edge her tone. It breaks my heart a little, to hear her like this, even though she probably doesn't mean to put that much emotion into her voice.

"Allissa-" I'm not sure what I want to say. "How are you? After . . . everything."

She takes a deep breath in, taking her time in responding. "I'm okay." I can't tell if she doesn't trust me or is really, actually, still not okay. "Really." Her expression is calm.

I transport myself into the cell, standing only feet away from her. "I was wondering . . ." Looking up at her, I lose myself in her eyes, forgetting what I was going to say. I've fallen hard. "I need you to come with me."

"Why?" Curiosity and wariness register on her expression. Those brown eyes of hers pierce into my gaze, searching for any weakness of mine that might give away where I stand, what's going on. What amazes me is how guarded her emotions are, not portraying anything that might make her seem vulnerable, which is much different than how she was when I first took her away-- unstable, shy, and paralyzed with fear.  "Did something happen?" She cocks an eyebrow at me.