Josephine's Secret

20. Happy Rocks

20. Happy Rocks: Josephine's Pov

Chapter Goal- 300 votes (for a Mancini's Pov)

QOTC- have y'all checked out the sequel to My Broken Luna?

It's funny how just when you think that things are going well, life decides to hit you hard.

I thought I was getting better, I really did. But there are always little things that never fail to bring us back into our old state of mind. Darker, less happy thoughts that I've been trying so I hard to ignore.

That's another thing, though. All you can do is ignore it. You can't simply get rid of the bad thoughts and memories because they're always going to be there. Because no matter what you do, or what other people in your life try to do, it's always going to be there.

I sit with my knees pulled up to my chest, my head resting forward and my eyes squeezed shut as I try to keep myself silent. Archer lays on his back just inches away from me, completely oblivious to the fact that I am wide awake next to him.

Before I fell asleep earlier, I asked for him to stay with me and he did. The Benadryl knocked me out for an amount of time that I'm unsure of. All I know is that it's most likely nighttime right now since Archer seems to be in such a deep sleep.

The room is completely dark since the door is closed and there are no windows present. Thankfully. I used to like windows; they gave me a sense of comfort knowing that outside the glass there was a free world with no limitations. But since the Keaton incident, windows now give me a sense of danger and panic. Especially during the nighttime, I'm reminded of how free everything outside is. The dangers that lurk outside with just a glass barrier between us.

"Just breathe." I try whispering to myself, only to force myself to hold back a sob as I pull my knees tighter against my chest and hold my head down low. Tears fall down my cheeks and I struggle to keep myself quiet. My shoulders shake and my breaths come out uneven as I try to ignore the bad thoughts in my head.

Then nightmares have been progressively getting worse. Things tend to build up inside and it makes my mind replay horrible memories that I wish I could forget about.

I think about reaching over to check the time on my phone, but that would mean having to climb over Archer to do so. The bed in this room is pushed up against one of the corners and I'm laying on the side closest to the wall, so there's no getting up without waking him. My wolf whimpers, yearning for the comfort of our mate, but she doesn't want to wake him either.

We end up sitting there for about an hour before I finally manage to stop my mostly silent hiccups and even out my ragged breaths. I know that I should get some sleep so that I'm not tired during tomorrow's meetings, but I simply can't close my eyes without being reminded of Keaton. Archer scares me when he suddenly reaches out in his sleep and puts his arm around my stomach, starting to pull me to lay down next to him.

I allow him to do so, being in a too weak state of mind to do anything else, but I am still unable to fall asleep. Part of it is because my body feels too numb to feel the usually comforting sparks provided by Archer's touch and another part is because I'm refusing to let myself fall asleep and have another nightmare.

Archer holds me like how he usually does at night, but it doesn't have any positive effect on me. Instead of being comforted by his touch, I now feel confined by his hold and end up laying limp in his arms. Silent tears continue to roll down my cheeks as I stare up at the ceiling, sleep no where close to being found. My heart races and I can feel my breaths pick up again, my mind starting to recall the events that woke me up.