Red

Chapter Two

Chandler POV:

I slide into the front seat of Veronica's Volkswagen Passat, still in pain. I would normally be drowning all of the pain in alcohol by now, but I couldn't have stayed at that party with Ram there. Just thinking about him, a stray tear runs down my cheek. I wipe it away, hoping Veronica won't notice. Despite my best efforts, however, she does.

"What happened in there?" she asks. "You can talk to me. I swear I won't be mean about it."

"I'm not one to talk," I say, but I know my voice is shaking slightly.

"I don't mean to push, but you seem really upset, and-" she begins, but I cut her off.

"Ram raped me," I tell her bluntly. I'm surprised at myself for telling her so easily. She seems like the only person I can trust, and if I hadn't said anything, I'd probably start sobbing again.

"Chandler..." Veronica says, and I can tell she's trying to process what I've just said.

"Just drive, Sawyer," I instruct her, focusing my gaze on the dashboard.

She's about to say something else, but she decides against it. I feel her staring at me as she starts the car. I feel numb again. I just want to forget him. I want to forget what he did to me. I should have known he would try something. Fuck Duke. I should have stayed home.

We're both quiet as we drive down the road. I try to do breathing exercises. In through the nose and out through the mouth, just like I used to do to calm down when I'd cry in middle school. I used to be the crybaby, but once I learned to control my feelings, I became the most intimidating girl at Westerburg.

Once we get to Martha's house, Veronica pulls into the driveway and turns off the engine. She doesn't get out, and neither do I. We just sit in silence. I feel tears coming again, and I put my head in hands. I keep taking deep breaths, and I feel Veronica's hand on my back. I nearly pull away, but it's kind of nice to have someone trying to comfort me.

"Sorry about the waterworks," I mutter.

"You have no reason to apologize," Veronica says, her voice soothing. A few hot tears roll down my cheeks as I sit up.

"Did I screw up my makeup?" I ask.

Veronica shakes her head. "No, no, it looks fine," she assures me.

"Good," I say. "Then we should go inside." I put my hand on the door handle to get out.

"Chandler, I..." she begins. I turn to face her. She seems to be searching for the right words. "I know you don't want to talk now, but if you ever do... I'm here. I care. Ok?"

"Thanks, Sawyer," I reply, and I genuinely mean it. She's been one of the best friends I've ever had, and I've only known her for a few days. Macnamara's sweet, sure, but I don't tell her anything. As sweet as she is, she's shitty at keeping secrets.

I open the car door, stepping out into the cold night air. I follow Veronica up the sidewalk to Martha's door. Veronica knocks lightly, and in a matter of seconds, Martha Dunstock appears at the doorway. She smiles when she sees Veronica, but as she sees me, her smile fades to nervousness. "H-Heather," she manages. "Hi."

"She's gonna watch the movie with us," Veronica asks. "Is that okay?"

"Oh, of course! I'll make some more popcorn," Martha says, smiling at me. "Come on in."

Veronica goes inside, hugging Martha. I walk in behind her, awkwardly standing there. "That's a cute sweater," I tell Martha. It really is. It's a blue knit turtleneck. It looks nice on her.

"Thank you," Martha says, still seeming slightly nervous. "Would you like anything to drink, Heather?" she asks me.

"I'm alright, and call me Chandler," I tell her. Martha nods in agreement, and then Veronica chimes in.

"She'll have water," she says to Martha. I raise an eyebrow at her, but she turns to me with a look of determination. "Trust me. You'll feel a little better if you have something to drink."

Martha almost asks something, but she seems to decide against it. She simply nods. "Sounds awesome. I'll be right back. Veronica, you can show Chandler the basement."

"That's where we watch the movies," Veronica explains. "Come on." I follow closely behind her as she leads me down a short hallway. There's a living room to the right as we come out of the hallway as well as a kitchen to the left. Martha is standing in the kitchen near the microwave, and I hear popcorn popping. There is a door to the left of Veronica, and she opens it. "It's down here," Veronica tells me. The light in the stairwell leading down to the basement is already turned on, presumably because Martha was already down here.

"Martha's sweet," I comment as Veronica leads me to where the couch is.

"She's been my best friend since diapers," Veronica says. "There's a reason she's stayed around. I couldn't ask for a better best friend than her."

I feel a twinge of something. Jealousy, maybe? But why? For Martha, because she and Veronica are best friends? That's insane. I've only known Veronica for a few days. Martha has known Veronica for her whole life. Of course they're closer than Veronica and I. So then why the hell am I jealous?

"Alright, I've got water and popcorn!" Martha says happily, coming down the stairs. She hands me the water. "Oh, and Ronnie, there's a Pepsi in the mini-fridge."

"Thanks," Veronica replies with a smile as she walks over to the mini-fridge and takes out a bottle of Pepsi. "So, the Princess Bride again?" Veronica questions as though she can already tell what the answer will be.

"If that's alright with you, Chandler," Martha says, looking over at me.

"It's your house," I tell her. "We can watch whatever you want."

Martha looks over at Veronica as a smile spreads across her face. Veronica sighs, waving her hand dismissively. Martha hurries over to the television, turning it on. She picks up the remote from the coffee table, clicking a few buttons. In no time, the opening credits for the Princess Bride are on the screen.

All three of us sit down on the couch. I keep myself pressed against the right arm, letting Veronica and Martha sit together at the other end of the floral sofa and discuss whatever they may be discussing. I don't need to interrupt their night. I'm just tagging along with Veronica.

I can't focus on the movie. I try to. I try to watch as the stereotypical chick-flick fantasy couple tell each stereotypical chick-flick fantasy lines. I try to act like I'm interested. I just can't. I keep hearing Ram's voice in my head, calling me 'babe' and telling me that what he was doing to me was a private occasion. I can't stop thinking about how much it hurt... how much it still hurts. I shouldn't have gone to the party. I should've stayed home. I'm such a fucking idiot. I feel myself starting to panic. I rarely have panic attacks, but it seems that I'm about to have one. I get up quickly from the couch, feeling tears burning behind my eyes. Not again.

"Chandler, wait-" Veronica begins.

I hurry towards the nearest bathroom, closing and locking the door. I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this.

***

A/N: Super angsty again, I know. I think this whole book is just gonna be a whole lot of angst. Sorry about that. I swear, once the situation is handled with Heather, I'll add more fluff.

Thanks for reading!

-LittleMissBlitz