Red

Chapter Twenty Six

TWO MONTHS LATER...

Chandler POV:

It's a girl. I'm having a girl.

The baby is due in two months, so Veronica and I have decided to go shopping for things for the baby's room, as well as clothes that we think might look cute. I've been doing all of my schoolwork from home for the past month, thanks to Veronica's help. I'll get a diploma (as long as I pass finals) but there's no way I'm going to graduation. Not when it looks like I swallowed an entire goddamn bowling ball. Of course, everyone at school knows already. Rumors spread like wildfire at Westerburg.

We're in Target looking at baby stuff. Mac is with us. She's basically like an actual sister to me now. Her family has essentially become my family. I haven't been back home since my mom went to jail. She's in prison now, and she will be for a long time. I might visit at some point. She'll have to sober up. It's prison. There's no bar in prison. I don't plan on talking to my dad anytime soon.

"Look! Look at this dress! It's so tiny!" Mac squeals, picking up an adorable, frilly, yellow baby dress.

"That's so pretty," I say, grinning.

"Great! I'm getting it for the baby then," she replies..

"Hey, no, I'm paying," I say.

She giggles, putting a hand on my arm. "No, you're not," she tells me. "People are going to buy you gifts. You're having a baby. It's part of the deal."

"God damn it, Mac," I sigh. "Fine. But that's it! Nothing else, okay? I still have access to my dad's credit cards. It's not like I'm broke."

"Babe, I'm gonna buy this hat," Veronica says, walking towards us from another rack. It's blue. Of course it's blue. I smile, shaking my head. I kiss her forehead.

"No, you're not," I tell her. "You especially don't need to be paying for any of this. You gave up fucking Harvard to stay in town with me. I'm not letting you give up anything else." I take the hat, putting it into the cart that I've been pushing around the store. "And hey, we have to get a crib now. That's what we came here for, and all you two have been doing is drooling over baby clothes."

"Hey, you did your fair share of drooling," Veronica defends.

"Yeah," Mac follows up, crossing her arms. "What about this?" She reaches into the cart and pulls out the red one-piece that I'd gotten, and I feel myself blush slightly.

"It came with a bow," I retort. "It's fucking adorable. Now can we please just go get the crib? Please?"

Veronica laughs, kissing my cheek. "Of course."

"You guys are seriously adorable," Mac says, grinning.

"So are you, Sunshine," I tell her, and together, the three of us walk over to the section of the store where the baby furniture is located, hoping to find a crib and a mobile. I haven't told Mac or Veronica, but I've been growing more and more nervous as this goes on. Being here right now is terrifying. I would never tell Veronica, but I've been having panic attacks almost on a weekly basis, and they just keep getting worse. It's not that I don't want this baby. I just don't know if this baby wants me. I don't know if I'll be a good enough mom for her.

***

Veronica POV:

Chandler and I are lying under the covers, having just fooled around for the first time in a few months. I'm laying my head on her chest, and she's now wearing a t-shirt that she'd gotten out after we finished. She seems more calm than she has been in a while. She seems to have been on edge lately.