Not Thinking Straight

Chapter 4

A/N: Happy Pride Month! This video made me cry so I'm gonna force you to watch it too. You have to suffer with me. I'm #ProudToLove.

I got home around 1:45, went straight (I barely resisted writing in a gay joke here) to sleep, and woke up around 10 the next morning. 

"Taylor, I need you to babysit your brother, your mom and I have to meet with the insurance company, and then the bank," my dad said to me as soon as I getting a glass of OJ. (Google Jordan Masterson and picture him slightly older. That's how I picture the Dad.) 

"Okay," I sipped my orange juice. "Can I take him to the mall?"

"Sure, just have Amelia take you." Dad seemed kind of stressed, so I didn't bother him after that. 

"Hey Brendon!" I yelled. I wish my 9-year-old bro was Brendon Urie, but alas, he is simply Brendon McDonnell. 

"What?" he ran into the room in his Batman pajamas.

"Dad says I have to babysit you, so Amelia's taking us to the mall." I bent down to look at the small child. 

"Okay! Can we go in the Disney Store?" he asked. 

A/N: I'm really pissed. So, I was writing, and I was almost ready to end the chapter, when Wattpad decided to fuck me over, and get rid of all of my shit that I had written after the part above. So, I'll come back to this tomorrow (Lesbian Pride Day) and hopefully, Wattpad won't screw me over. See you tomorrow (hopefully)! (This was written on June 1st, and it's now June 7th, as an fyi.)

"Sure, bud," I said as I ruffled his hair. 

"Yay!"

Amelia said she'd be fine with taking us, but we had to go in American Eagle first. 

~Skip to the Mall~

We were in American Eagle for an hour and a half. No joke. I timed it. 1 hour, 30 minutes, and 34 seconds. Amelia finished paying and we walked out of the store. 

"Can we please please please go to the Disney Store now?" Brendon asked. 

"I can finally tell you yes," I said. He had asked me at least 7 times.

We walked into the Disney Store and he immediately ran too the Marvel section. That's my boy. We bought him a few Marvel Tsum Tsums and a book of bedtime stories. My brother's inner child will still rules his body. 

We were walking over to the food court for a snack when something unexpected happened. 

Brendon pointed out some kid named Jared and said he's in his classes. Amelia and I were trying to figure out what we wanted when....

"He's really cute. I think I want to kiss him at some point. Maybe even hold his hand."

Amelia and I looked at each other. I only thought about two things. 

1. Brendon just expressed feelings for a gay. Sorry, a guy. 

2. Brendon thinks holding hands is more intimate than kissing. I wonder where sex is on his intimacy scale. 

(The first one is obviously more important, but the second one just needed to be pointed out.)

"Um......what?" Amelia asks.

"I think Jared is cute. Is that bad?" he looked so genuinely curious and innocent it was hard to to hug him and never let go.

"Of course not. But do you still find girls cute?" Amelia is frickin' integrating the kid. Her tone is super damn serious. I feel so bad for him. 

"I guess. I think Black Widow's hot, and this girl in my class, Winnie. She's only kinda cute. Jared's cuter. So, I guess I do, yeah," Brendon replied. 

"Do you know what that means?" I asked.

"Um, no," he said.

"It means you're bisexual. Which means you like both girls and boys," I said. 

"Oh, okay. Can we get something to eat now?" And that is the attention span of my 9-year-old brother.

"Let's go get a pretzel," I said, looking at Amelia. 

After we sat down I decided to talk to Brendon about Mom. (And about me being a lesbian.)

"Brendon, do you know what a lesbian is?" I asked.

"Nope. What is it?"

"It's a gay girl. So, it's a girl who likes other girls."

"Okay."

"Well, I'm a lesbian." Boom, bomb dropped. 

"Okay. Cool." And nobody cares. Story of my life. 

"You can't tell Mommy about either of you," Amelia cut in.

"Why not?" Brendon asked.

"Mommy thinks that girls should only like boys and boys should only like girls. She doesn't like same gender couples," I said.

"Oh. Why?" Brendon seems a bit worried...

"We don't know, she just doesn't like them. She prefers it the usual way, the traditional way," Amelia said.

"Okay. I'm not allowed to tell her I like Jared then?" Brendon asked. 

"No, unfortunately not," I replied.

"And I'm not allowed to tell her you like girls?"

"No way."

"Okay...." Brendon seemed completely defeated. I wanted to hug him and kiss him and reassure him until the end of time. I wish we didn't have to hide. 

A/N: Sorry about the super long wait for this chapter. I've been busy af and it's been hard trying to find time to write. School's almost done and hopefully, I'll be able to write more, I plan doing at least two more updates this month. 

There's no way in hell, heaven, and purgatory I could possibly name all the users and people in the world who identify as something other than straight or cis, so I'll list the names of people I know in real life who have a reason to celebrate Pride Month.

Myself 

Grace (Big Gay)

Savanah

Talia

Abby

Carly

Payton

Sam

Jess

Nicole

I can't think of anymore people I know irl who have a reason to celebrate, but I wish everyone reading this a happy Pride Month (even if you're just a straight ally)! I'll talk about that more in the next chapter possibly. 

I give everyone who needs it my support and I hope you're all having a good (insert time of day here)! Thanks for the 72 reads! It's not much compared most things here but it means a lot to me. Love y'all.

~ Juliet