The Madness Inside Us

Numbers

A week goes by as I slowly dedicate myself to the mission: get Murphy to California. Save the human race. I grow to care for the people that saved my ass, though many agree I saved theirs by getting to them before the Zs did. The person I grow closest to is 10k, though. We slowly get to know each other, being paired up for basically everything, like first watch, supply runs, and even clearing out shelters.

Now, I sit by the fire, watching it crackle and flare. My hand absentmindedly traces along the small black lines in the shape of tally marks on my left forearm. I look down at them. Seven crooked lines flicker in the light of the campfire.

Leaves crunch behind me and I grasp my knife, spinning around and readying myself to pike a walker. But it's just 10k's face that the light from the fire dances off of, reflecting in his clear, blue eyes. I smirk on relief and turn back, scooting over on the ground and patting the space beside me.

"Hey", he shuffles up before folding himself beside me. I notice him glance down at where my fingers are tracing before looking back at my face, brows furrowed.

"Its not polite to stare, ya know," I say, poking him in the ribs. He blushes and shifts awkwardly.

"What is that, a tattoo? Weren't you too young to get one when this all started?"

"Well duh, I was 15, like you. I did these myself. Inkpen and a pocketknife."

He looked at me, eyes wide and mouth turned down. "What are they supposed to mean?"

"What is 10k supposed to mean?", I mimicked, crossing my eyes at him and sticking my tongue out. He had already told me on the second day I spent with the group after I finally asked what his nickname meant. "It's...um...well, it's kind of how many humans I've killed. Not like humans-turned-Z, but actual people." I turn my eyes away from his gaze, feeling like a monster. "I'm actually missing one", I mutter.

"Missing one?"

"Yeah...I'm actually surprised none of you have asked yet...you know, how I got to you with the brand new belly button?" I laugh harshly, "the guy that gave me that is actually the eighth mark. The missing mark. He found me outside, trying to fix my bike. Saw the horde coming and stabbed me to keep the Zs away from him. I shot him. In the head, of course, I'm not that much of a fucking monster." I stare straight ahead into the woods, trying to feel absolutely nothing at all for the strange man. "Been meaning to add him to my list", I hold my arm up to 10k.

He is silent for a moment, his expression unreadable. His slender fingers reach out and smooth over the small lines.

"You know, Tally, I think that may be the most I've ever heard you say", 10k smiles. I return his smile, grateful he doesn't think I'm a monster too. I can't explain, but there's just something about 10k that sets a hungry Z off in my chest. I can actually feel a blush creep up the back of my neck, and I smooth my hand over it, trying to cover.

God, I want him to like me so bad. I may have been young when the apocalypse started, but I know what the tingle his fingers left on my arm meant. I know I care about this boy already, and it's only been a fucking week. His gentle voice and stupid, cute face just wound their way into my heart. Damn him.

So dangerous to feel this way. You can't, Tally. Stop.

Shut up, Tally. It's not like I can fucking help it.

"Oh haha. It's not like you're a man of many words either, Mr, Sniper guy." Sadness creeps up on me as I gaze at his face. "You know, Tally isn't actually my real name. I gave it to myself...my real name is Clara. But tell anyone and I'll kick your ass", I grumble pointing at him.

He swats at my hand, grinning. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. Clara." He grasps my hand in his own. A fire erupts in my chest and I have to look down to make sure the campfire didn't escape and start to burn my shirt.

Nope. Just your frozen heart thawing out. And her heart grew three fucking sizes that day. You disgust me.

"My name's Tommy", he whispers to me so quietly I wasn't sure he spoke at all. "But let's just keep that a secret too, okay?"

"Sure thing...Tommy". I nudge his leg with my boot.

"So why Tally?"

"Tally marks," I hold up my arm again.

He looks sad for a moment, licking his lips in that stupidly attractive way he does.  My hand raises in spite of my internal protests, reaching to smooth the lines that appear in his forehead.  I can feel his eyes piercing into me, and he leans into my fingers just as they reach his skin.

Shuffling from the treeline gives away the approach of a few walkers. 

Damn twat-blocks.

10k lifts his slingshot and takes one out, and I get a couple knives into the other two. Throwing knives used to be a little hobby of mine before the world went to shit. I don't miss, just like him with his rifle and slingshot.  10k knew that, of course. You learn a surprising amount about someone when you're always paired up.

"4056," 10k mutters to himself, his lips pulling up just slightly.

God bless those beautiful humans for playing matchmaker and putting us together.

"Very nice", he nods approvingly at my aim. We jog over to retrieve my knives. No use in wasting them by leaving them there.

I allow myself to sneak a short glance at 10k as he bends down to to retrieve the last knife.

Oh, that jawline. Just kill me now.

Finally, we trade off with Warren and Vasquez so they can take second watch. I am exhausted and 10k and I make ourselves comfy in the bed of the truck.

"Hot damn", I murmur as his shirt rides up slightly when he lays down, exposing a small and dark trail of hair that disappears under his pant's waistline.

"Huh?"

"Oh, nothing. Just tired." He nods, putting an arm behind his head and closing his eyes.

Phew.