The Madness Inside Us

Screwed

After a couple hours, enough of the horde passes that 10k and I decide to meet back at the rendezvous point.  We pick off the occasional Z as we make our way back.  10k is, impressively,  up to 4130 in his count by the time we are halfway there.  I can't help but watch as his face transforms after every kill.  A little smirk turns the very corners of his lips up as he racks his bolt on his gun and mumbles each number.

And don't even get me started on his jawline.

Every once in a while, he would stop our forward movement to pull me close and kiss me quickly.  By the time we reach the truck and see the group gathered around a map to the side of it, I am nearly buzzing with happiness.

We are happy that neither of us sees the two Zs attack us from behind.   One nearly tackles me and I struggle with it for a moment before dispatching it swiftly with a knife.  10k struggles with the other, it wrestling with him and snapping it's decaying teeth just inches from his face.

Terror fills me and I grab it, readying my knife to stab this one as well, but do not anticipate the rapid turn it executes.  It works around and gets me to the ground, surprising me so much that I am unable to stop it from sinking it's teeth into my shoulder.  I cry out and use all my strength to shove it away, my blood-slicked hands digging into its chest, and 10k shoots it in the head.  Black, coagulated blood spatters my face and we look at each other in horror as he grips my hand and pulls me up.

His eyes flash to my shoulder and back to mine.  There is no mistaking the desperate glimmer in his eyes as he confirms that, yes, I did get bitten.

The group is sprinting to us now and they shout back and forth with 10k about my current....unfortunate status.

"10k", I whimper.  Tears fill my eyes.  I know what a bite from a zombie means.  I need mercy, and soon, before I start to turn.  My shoulder burns and bright red blood courses down my arm.  He looks at me, grabbing my face with rough hands.

"You're going to be okay.  We can fix this", he nearly shouts, hands shaking.

Another pair of hands rips me away from 10k and another set of teeth tear into my shoulder, nearly overlapping the other bite.  The teeth release after a short beat, and I twist to face my new attacker.

"Murphy? What the fuck?!", I holler.  I look to 10k, fresh tears filling my eyes.  Pure anger and hatred flashes across his face, and he advances on Murphy.  Warren and Vasquez grip his upper arms and hold him back as he yells.

"No! Tally! Murphy, why? You know what happened with Cassandra.  What have you done?"

I sink to my knees, cradling my throbbing arm to my chest.  I know what happened to Cassandra too.

A fate worse than death.

There is talk about mercy and what to do as they all frantically murmur back and forth.  10k is still being held back from killing Murphy.  Murphy, however, is watching me carefully, evenly.

Blood thrums in my ears and pulses in my fingertips, and I barely hear myself croak out, "Why, Murphy? Why? I was kind to you.  I was your friend."

The whole group is silent now, gauging both of our reactions.  Murphy doesn't respond at first.  He looks...sad.

"I had no choice.  You would have turned.  I gave you an opportunity to live", he nearly spits back.

"LIVE?", I shriek.  "What, as your slave? As your minion?! Oh yeah, thanks a ton.  Now I get to really live".

"I wouldn't make you my slave...I almost consider you...a friend", he counters.  "I won't make you my slave.  You have my word.  I just didn't want to see you turn and die". 

Tears threaten to make their appearance again, and I swallow them down.  At last, someone else speaks.

"Alright, look, we can all agree that Murphy is an asshole...but he does have a point.  Tally would be a Z by now without him biting her.  Maybe...maybe she won't be like Cassandra", Addy says in a calm, clear voice.  My heart starts to slow down as calm creeps back to me.

Maybe she's right.  Maybe I won't be like Cassandra...but what if I am?  I'd rather fucking die.

"But how do we know? Cassandra...what happened to her was just...", 10k speaks up.

"We don't know.  But isn't it worth trying?  Cassandra was pretty close to dying already.  Tally was, and is, still alive.  She still seems like herself, doesn't she?", Warren says, studying me closely.  I love Warren.  Her leadership skills have rarely done any of us wrong so far.  I decide to trust her judgement...for now.

"If...if I start to act like Cassandra.  Or even not myself.  You all have to do me a favor.  You have to shoot me in the head.  Got it?"

10k is let go and he runs right over to me, scooping me up in his arms and holding me close.  "I'm sorry", he whispers.  "I'm so, so sorry.  I won't let you end up like Cassandra.  I won't".

A war rages inside me.

To hate Murphy for doing this to me, or not?  Maybe he was just trying to help me and not trying to hurt me and 10k.  Maybe he doesn't want me as a slave.  One thing is for sure, though: I'll fight like hell if he tries to order me around.  I won't go down without a fight.