Prongs {Book One}

Chapter Twenty-Two - No Penitence

JAMES.

"So did you kiss her?"

"It's not all about kissing, mate."

Sirius raised his eyebrows, and Remus scoffed.

"Who are you, and what have you done with James?" Remus laughed.

I rolled my eyes. "I thought you were studying, Remus."

"Yes, he's helping me," Peter said desperately, slamming his Defense Against the Dark Arts book shut.  

"Oh, calm your nose, Wormtail. Tomorrow's our last exam," Sirius yawned, "anyway. DADA is the easiest subject."

"For you it is," Peter sighed, and then went back to making notes.

"Anyway, Prongs. You going out with Evans now?"

"Nah," I said, and I was surprised with myself at how nonchalant I sounded, "if she wants to, then I will."

"You've changed a lot in one night," Sirius frowned, "it's worrying."

"Shut up," I muttered, and hit him with my book.

"James? Can I talk to you?"

It was Lily.

"Sure," I said, standing up quickly. Sirius wolf whistled. Or dog whistled, rather. Lily rolled her eyes impatiently.

We left the common room and found the first unlocked classroom. Lily sat down nervously.

"I have to talk to Sev."

"What?"

"I... I know I shouldn't. But I feel bad for Charity. I mean, anyone... anyone can see he's using her to... to make me... jealous. Or whatever. But she likes him. I heard her gushing to her friends about him earlier, and I don't want her to... you know."

"Okay," I said slowly, sitting down opposite her, "but aren't you worried he'll just think you're... making a move? Or something?"

"I can't just bring some random person into this. Sev is... he's angry, and I don't want to see anyone get hurt because I made him angry."

"But you didn't make him angry - well you did, but it's his fault, not yours."

"It's my fault just as much as his."

"No, it's not!" I felt furious, for some reason, as though it was a personal offense to me.

"It is! I'm the one who didn't like him-"

"He's the one who couldn't get himself together and accept for you to be his friend!"

"I can't help how he feels about me-"

"He can get over the fact that you don't like him!"

"What, like you did!?"

I fell silent.

"That's what I thought. Just when I started to believe you'd changed, you're still jealous of him."

"Of course I'm jealous," I said quietly, "he's... he's a total dickhead, and you still choose to spend time with him over me."

"He's my best friend."

"He wants more than that."

"I can't give him more."

"And he can't accept that."

"Neither can you."

"Not before last night." 

Lily sighed, and stared at me. "I'm sorry. I really am. But if it's what it takes to get him to stop hurting other people..."

"Okay then."