Chapter Thirty - Happiest With You

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A/N: I am aware that it isn't canon that Snape's mother is dead, but I can't find any proof against it and this is a fanfiction so yeah.

SEV.

Somehow, hurting people seemed to take my hurt away.

I suppose that was one of the reasons Mulciber, Avery, the Carows and everyone else did it - I knew their family lives weren't easy, but my morals had always got in the way.

Now, it felt like nothing was holding me back.

It felt almost good, getting invited to Slug Club, getting praise from Mulciber, assurance from Avery that once they left school, they would tell the Dark Lord about me, and words from the Carows about taking control of the posse next year.

Whatever it felt like, it was better than what I'd been feeling before.

"You know, Severus," Avery drawled, "I'm glad you've come around from chasing after that mudblood."

The word rolled off his tongue like a spell.

"I've decided I have... important and achievable things to spend my time on."

"It's important to get in with the right people. You don't want to be married to filth when the Dark Lord takes over."

The pang of him insulting Lily was dull, now, dull enough for me to laugh and agree.

Mulciber slumped on the couch next to us. It was Sluggy's Saturday, as we called them, and we were lounging in his office for lunch.

"Crystalised Pinapple, Severus?" Mulciber offered me a plate. I took a small, yellow, sparkly sweet and ate it.

"Heard Evans was waiting for Potter outside the hospital wing," Mulciber said casually, and I knew he was watching me closely for a reaction.

"They deserve each other," I said carefully, "the mudblood and the mudblood lover."

They laughed, and I forced out a smile.

"Ah, Severus, glad to see you're enjoying yourself," Slughorn waddled over.

"Pinapple, sir?" Mulciber offered him the plate.

"Oh, might as well - I've already had six, but one more isn't going to make that much difference. now, is it?" He laughed raucously, and I could tell he'd had too much to drink. "It's a shame Lily couldn't come - she hardly ever comes, anymore... I wonder why? I'll have to ask her at some point. Well, enjoy yourselves, boys!"

I knew perfectly well that the reason Lily didn't come to Sluggy's Saturdays was because the death eater crowd took up 90 percent of the Club, and she hated all of us; but no one was going to tell Sluggy that.

It was as I was leaving Sluggy's office that I saw it, from the window of his room. Across the sunlit grounds, a flash of something black. It was gone before I could get a proper look at it, but then I noticed it again.

"I'm going to take a walk," I told Avery, and ran downstairs before he could reply. 

As I exited the entrance hall and ran across the grounds, I felt like I was being too paranoid, but the thought was quelled as I reached the forest.

I didn't think that what I saw in front of me was what had flashed across the grounds; it was too big. 

It was a large, winged, skeletal creature that somewhat resembled a horse. I had read about them before, but never studied them, not having taken Care of Magical Creatures. However, I knew that they were called Thestrals, and I knew why I could see one.

A memory, forgotten by years of suppression, flashed back to me - my mother, crouched against a wall, my father, an empty beer bottle in his hand, and me, cowering away. The memory died as blood splattered the wall, and I looked back up at the thestral, my heart beating quickly. It looked at me almost quizzically, and then a smaller one came into view behind it.

Something about the creatures was delicate, despite their initially alarming appearance. The larger one took a step forwards. I felt the sudden urge to touch it, and I held out my hand. As my fingertips came into contact with its nose, the thestral suddenly jerked away and ran off.

"Wait!" I found myself calling, and I was following it off the path.

I knew following it had been a mistake after not even thirty seconds. I had lost sight of it, and it seemed to leave no footprints. I was just about to turn back when I heard voices, and froze in my tracks, because I knew those voices, and I knew the situation that was occurring because it felt painfully familiar, and as the conversation progressed, I felt something inside me simulateously expand and die.

-

JAMES.

The Saturday was the warmest day of the month, and the outskirts of the forest were warm and sunny.

"For the first fifty metres or so, the forest is actually safe," I told Lily as we took off the cloak, "it's only once the trees thicken that there are giant spiders, centaurs, wolves... if we're lucky, we could see unicorns here, but they're usually deeper in too."

"It's magical," Lily breathed, looking around the ground at the leaves dappled with sunlight. 

"Yeah," I said, sighing.

After a moment of comfortable silence, Lily looked at me.

"I suppose you want to date me, now?"

I took a moment before answering.

"I want you to be happy."

"What if I'm happiest with you?"

"Then I'll be happy too."

Then all of a sudden, we were one. We were the sun. Everything was revolving around us, exploding and expanding, and it felt like I had been exposed to something blinding and exhilerating. The sensation was like nothing I'd ever felt before, leaving me breathless and full of air. It was slowed down, but didn't last long enough, so that when we broke apart, I felt like I needed the feeling to breath.

Lily Evans was my air, and only then did I realise that I hadn't breathed for sixteen years.

"It's strange how the world works, isn't it?" Lily breathed in my ear.

"If it wasn't strange, we'd all get bored, wouldn't we?" I replied.

Lily laughed, and it was soft and musical.

"I suppose we would."

--

EEEEK!!! Yeah, Sev did watch and hear that entire conversation. Idk what he did after that though because this was the LAST CHAPTER!

Thank you all so much for reading my book. It took me almost an entire year to write, but it's finally done and I'm happy with it. 

BUT

I am writing a sequel!

I plan this to be the first in a series called The Marauders, and next is Padfoot, which will be a WolfStar fanfic because honestly how can you not ship Remus and Sirius. 

Thanks again for reading, and if you want to know when Padfoot gets released then follow me to stay tuned!


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