When Reality Steps In (New)

My story begins

Zyla's POV

Being stuck in a nightmare for god knows how long. Doesn't seem fun doesn't

I shoot out of bed seeing nothing but my closet light on and my sister crash out on the floor. I turn my phone on and it lights up with my home screen of me and my boyfriend

"3:45" I whisper to my self I through my head back to my pillow facing the ceiling once again

I turn to my right and hug my boyfriends jacket I toke from him

"Lord please help me have a good dream" I say to myself before I fall into a deep sleep. This had been coming a perfect routine for me lately . Waking up from 1-5 in the morning from being trapped in a vicious nightmare.

I was growing tired of the nightmares tired of waking up I just wanted sleep for crying out loud is that so hard to ask brain.?

*beep beep*

My sisters alarm wakes me from me drooling .

With heavy tired eyes I look at my phone. 7am school starts at 8:30-ish I toss around in bed finding my soothing place and shutting my heavy eyes.

I wake up again 7:39 , we leave at 7:45

"Ughhhh" I groan loudly turning around

Maybe I shouldn't go to school today maybe I can skip or say I'm sick I don't feel like going fuck it. I say closing my eyes once again but then I find my self lifting my body up rubbing my eyes and yawning like a lion from its day nap.

Did the normal brush my teeth my hair put clothes on plug in my head phone and fun to the car.

My family barely speaks to me in the mornings it's only "are you ready" or "hurry up"

We used to talk and laugh to start off the day but that quickly faded ... Well for me my sister talks to my mom and so does my brother they all carry this amazing spectacular conversation as if I'm not there just a dusty IPod sitting in a cabinet somewhere . Yup how I feel.

"Bye Zyla" my mother says as she pulls up to my school .

I hand her my phone and walk in. In my school we have to wear white shirts jeans with no holes, belts and no jewelry . And we get searched every morning like if we were in the airport .

Yup crazy huh, well it's a disciplinary school. I was caught selling weed while on bars .

"Morning Zyla" my teacher says

"Morning miss how are you" I force a fake smile as I walk through the metal detectors

Same thing every morning greeting people with stuff I used to see of birthday cards at your local Walgreens.

Every morning I feel... Lost not all there you know .? Like if I toke a whole bottle of Niquil and didn't sleep.

Headaches come around first period every morning but this one came earlier today.

I walk in my class room and see my boyfriend I walk to him and hug him then we play our favorite game of connect four

*BAM*

Oops forgot reality is in control again

Actually I walk in and hug my boyfriend and begin to cry in his shirt. My mascara coming off and staining his white T shirt .

"What's wrong babe" he asks holding me tight

I say nothing just rub my tears away smile and say the words I truly wish were true , the more I say these three words the less I believe my self

"I am okay " I look down and prepare my self to smile

Yup there it is my famous fake smile that was already becoming popular to him

He says nothing and just hugs me.

My boyfriend is also struggling from depression his dad died less then two months ago .

Irvin (ER-vin) is the best person I know he has a big heart golden personality and full of energy but this is really getting to him. I obviously expected it to and I tried to prepare but I'm completely clueless when it comes to helping him.

Time slowly rolls by and it's 7th period , it's word of a free period me and Irvin get the connect four game. I hate this game the only time I win is when Irvin let's me win .

This game makes me feel stupid . I'm really good at math I love math I understand it and I am a straight A student wait let reality step in once again...

This game makes me feel uncomfortable and mad and retarded . I do understand math and I do love math but I am a A's and B's kind of student . Yeah kind of a teachers pet but with my on going personality it makes me easy going

If people found out how I was feeling or what I was thinking they'd run for the hills, legit.!

Only reason I play this game is because Irvin likes it and I like to see him think through it .

"Eddie told me to give this note to you" Sanchez says throwing a note in front on me. Irvin was sitting across from me .

Staring at the note I see Irvin's hands wrap around it and open it .

I watch his dark brown eyes move from left to right.

His whole face expression changes and he throws the note on the floor with an angry look on his face

"What did it say" I as sitting up and making my move on my never ending loosing streak

He stays quit slouches in his chair and hovers over the desk plotting his next move .

I see Sanchez laughing and grabbing the note .

"Connect four" I hear , yup I lost

"I don't want to play anymore" I say trying not to sound completely disappointed

"I'll play Irvin.!" Andre yells taking my seat as I sit next to Irvin rubbing his arm

"What" he looks at me as I stare him down like a wolf and its prey

"Nothing I love you" I say smiling and squeezing his hand then facing the game

"And I love you" he forces a smile

I could hear Eddie and Sanchez whisper as my ear ring loudly.

I couldn't help but over hear there conversation

"You where obsessed with her bro" Sanchez says with his annoying noise he calls his voice

"So yeah I did" Eddie replies laughing

I stopped my self from hearing anything else

"Connect four" Andre says clearing the game.

I sigh and as they say it saved by the bell

"Next class everybody"
ms. Owen yells

I hug Irvin and we walk to class ...

What is to come of my life. I ask myself as my headache pounds harder .

My life is fucking boring I could feel my soul dying asking for something exiting to happen.

By this time of day my stomach begins to yell

I've been eating less I want to eat but , I'm already thick as it is I'll eat next lunch . I repeat the same words as my stomach calms itself and I re-swallow my saliva gross I know ..

But it didn't matter to me because no one knew , no one cared about my saliva my smile or my reality...