The Perfect Daughter

Chapter 9: Secret

ASHLEY

As the morning sun touch the brink of my soul, willing to shine in on me.. telling me to open my eyes to the beautiful day ahead. I feel numb.. Again. I just don't understand life.. My life. My feelings are already a mess as it is. Why am I like this. Slowly I feel the lashes of my eyes, the soft material cloth wrapped around me making me feel like heaven. Oh how I wish I could just stay in this safe haven all day. I open my eyes as the sunlight greet the gray particle of this undescribable face in its eyes. How I wish I won't be feeling like this anymore. Like a human being, being just a human. A human.. Who happens to fall into the ground and have a mental breakdown. I just don't understand anything at the moment. The guy who happens to be my first love, first kiss, first dance and whatever firsts I had with him. The one who broke down my walls into being emotional and being absolutely stuck within myself with the inside of his token of affection, that also happens to be swinging around my neck. Lastly but not the least, that arrogant jerk who didn't notice what was exactly caught up in his shirt! Not to mention leaving me hanging for his unexpected reaction! Is he dumb or is he dumb? He didn't even notice the always-getting-stuck-anywhere necklace he gave me! He just looked at me. He didn't even mind! Unbelievable. So much for being the unbelievable and  impossible wife of an ungrateful, arrogant, senseless, cold hearted, unaware guy kind of a husband! So early in the morning and my energy is being sucked up by a scene pulled up by that rant.

"Uugggghh!" I sound frustrated alright.

This is not good. No. It's unhealthy, it's.. GOD! What did I do? Is this the punishment I intend to have for not having dinner at the right time? For being so confident into having a stone for a heart? Or for being married at an early age? Oh Good Lord if that is the reason I'd be happy to make it easier for you.. No, not get a divorce or something but go to the nearest ocean of this continent, swim at the depth of the ocean and DIE. Yeah that's a good plan yeah? Right. I'm going crazy! I don't know what to do with my life or in my life! What's wrong with my head? Being dumb and like I can't even think straight! These things just  keep happening to me.

After I changed for school. I took a last look of myself infront of my bathroom mirror. I can't think of anything.. My mind's all blank.

I sighed.

"Whatever will be will be."

I got out of the bathroom and went for the door.

"Hey."

I closed the door and was shocked of how a golden boy with metal brain and bones just greeted me. Unbelievable.

What the hell is wrong with this guy? He's even worse than me when I'm on my period. Moodswings really swings on him at any time of day.

Ah, I'm not like this. I'm Ashley for goodness sake! I don't get too much emotional over something. I can pull this off. Just be Ashley, and everything will be okay. Just.. Breathe Ashley. Don't change for someone who doesn't even appreciate you.

I nodded at Nate's greeting and tried to get pass through him. As always, he looks completely of an ideal prince.

I smirked at the idea.

"So.." He said starting the conversation even with the fact that I had my back faced towards him reaching for the stairs.

"What's our plan now sunshine?"

I cracked a laugh at that statement. Seriously?

"Plan?"

"No."

"What?"

He glared at me.

Did I do something again? Or his PMS is back on track again? What the hell!

"Hey." I snapped. It seems to me he had already forgotten that we were still in an actual conversation.

His face expression suddenly changed and.. Smiled?

"Well, what are we suppose to do with this new living of ours?"

Moody for a guy like him standing infront of me.

"Let's keep it a secret." I answered. As I look at his unexplainable expression. The look of how he's thinking- why did she say that kind of thing. Ha! As if he's that proud of me. He barely even talk to me.

"Okay." He avoided my stare.

"How about you?" I asked as he just seemingly got pass through me and went for the kitchen. Leaving me like a clueless dog. Again. I seriously should be used to it by now.

Why does it have to be like this. I thought we had a connection. I thought our connection was special. So special we can barely leave each other. And so special that we can see it through each others' guts and realize..

I sighed.

I got in my car after a silenced breakfast with Nate. Not a single word lifted in the air. He barely even talk to me. His eyes so dark and so cold. I'm tired of it already. I'm the one who gets hurt here. I've never been hurt before. I built those walls for me to be strong than anyone else. But why now.. Shouldn't it be that I should be strong enough since I found my.. First Love.

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NATHANIEL

What did I do again.. Did I do something? Seriously, she didn't even talk to me while eating breakfast and happened to just storm off into her car. It's like I'm invisible! Is it just me or we can't understand each other? I found myself storming into my car too right after she got into hers. I followed her on the way to school. I was right behind her car and can't feel anything but feel this piece of.. Ah! No. No. No. And no. What the hell Nathaniel Klein Gerard.

I can't help it. I just feel something.. This feeling, I can't resist it. She's beautiful, amazing, and she's cool all right. Every guy wants her. And her personality with such beauty that gives them eveything to like.

But no, I'm tired of this. I'm tired of it all. It's unusual for something to make me feel indifferent. It's new. It's unexplainable. It's only been days. And It looks like that I'm the one who's overreacting here! So overreacting that I'm watching her until now, seated in her car. Looks like she's frustrated with her head leaned on her car driver's seat. What's she thinking about? She looks so.. Tired. Just like what I am right now. I'm tired. Tired of myself.