Skinny Girl Struggles

Kicked out of Taekwondo

Ah here you are, still reading my diary. You so badly want to know where it all began. You made the right decision- or perhaps not.

After all, curiosity killed the cat...but satisfaction brought it back. So keep reading, die out of curiosity to know la suite, come back again and continue reading until the end.

It all dates back to third grade in primary school- yes I remember the events vividly and by the way according to Elizabeth Kensigner the details we remember about negative events are more accurate. Allow me to describe my experience, please.

Life was too beautiful back then. I could recall having no worries other than the lunch my mom had packed for me and how I was going to manage to eat all of it because of how much it was. My stomach was as small as a bird's.

This was on August 25th, a Wednesday after school, as usual, I was headed to my Taekwondo class super pumped and determined to kick someone's ass- in a good way, I promise.

For some reason (that I did not know until the teacher explained to me his philosophy) I was still a yellow with green stripes belt even though I had been practicing for months and the newer students even passed me.

The teacher began to call forward students to hand them over their new belts. The newer, taller and more built looking kids were being promoted to green belts and green with blue striped belts. I was still at yellow with green stripes. I did not complain. Instead I was humble, I sat down and waited for him to call on me. He didn't.

Why?

There were a couple of kids who were not handed any new belts as well but I was determined to try harder and win a green belt. I was a child full of hope- but not for long.

"Cassie dear, how are you today?" he approached me "Cassie, you're very good at Taekwondo and you've been making a lot of efforts but don't you want to try something else? Maybe like modelling or singing? You have an amazing voice you know, you'd be great at singing."

The man clearly never heard me sing.

"So unfortunately, but for your own good I just don't think Taekwondo is for you. You seem a little- weak and not very strong enough to even, punch into the board. Okay?"

"Okay..." I replied realizing that he never paid attention to my progress. He had no hope for me and he had just highly impacted my confidence. I realized that my physical appearance and how I 'seemed' was very important. At the age of eight, I began to look down at myself.

Then I realized that I had really weird looking feet.

Then I began to hate my feet.

See if this instructor of our did not demoralize me like he did, would I have looked down at myself for an extend period of time staring at my feet? No. And would I have began to be preoccupied with how they looked and felt insecure about wearing sandals? No. Would I then have proceeded to look out for any other weird looking body parts of my body which in turn could potentially have led to a BDD? Heck no!

This one is dedicated to my dear instructor, thank you for messing up my seven year old brain.

So are you satisfied yet? No? Alright then, flip the next page. Now that you know the beginning I can really get to the actual daily struggles.

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A/N: This chapter is quite long but thanks for reading anyways. Remember to vote 🌟and leave a comment below. Now that I've set a story-like intro, wee can get to the actually relatable struggles. Who's excited? I am. Xx- Farah 😉.