Fix you(abused Girl) X male reader Remake

Epilogue. A New Start

Ashley was never one to make a New Year's resolution. Like a lot of things in life, she thought the idea of it was pointless. Most people never kept theirs, and she was the same. What's the point in setting yourself up for failure at the beginning of a new year? She had thought. However, upon being asked by (Y/N)  if she had one — who was sitting so closely beside her in the living room on New Year's Day, Ashley couldn't help but give him a proper response.
"I was thinking of taking up Judo again. Only after my ankle has fully recovered though." Ashley spoke, thinking back at the sport she enjoyed so much. It was only fair that she responded with something more than, "I think they're stupid", because (Y/N) deserved more than that. She couldn't disappoint him, especially looking into his wide-eyes and at the smile that was plastered across his innocent face. It never failed to surprise Ashley at how interested (Y/N) was by her, because she had never thought of herself as an interesting person. In fact, she had considered herself to be incredibly boring, but it appeared that (Y/N) had a completely different view, and it made her feel special for once in her life.
"Oh, that's really cool, Ashley . I'm happy that you want to pursue it." (Y/N) smiled and moved to brush a strand of hair behind Ashley's ear; he then scooted even closer to her. Ashley knew she'd have to get used to how tactile (Y/N) was.
"What about you?" she asked, wondering what type of resolution he had in mind.
"I want to make sure I get to the beach this summer. With you, actually." (Y/N) grabbed Ashley's hand and squeezed.
"You love the ocean, right?"
"Yeah, but that's not the only reason I want to visit the coast. ever since I was a kid I wanted to see the world, you know. I've spent all my summers here; I've spent my whole life here in fact. I was even born in this very house. I just want to live life like my parents did, even if it's just getting to the beach, it would still be seeing some of the world."
Ashley girl nodded, thinking about (Y/N)'s words and then asked, "Do you miss them?" She instantly regretted it. Stupid question.
"Yes, I do..." (Y/N) paused for a while, "It took me a long time to realize they weren't coming back."
"What do you mean?"
"They were supposed to go on a trip; I think it was to visit some kind of exhibition. The car accident happened on the way to the airport. I just remember them saying their goodbyes as if they would be returning, but they never did. I didn't grasp the concept of death for some time, and so I just believed they left me. My grandpa only said that they wouldn't be coming back, and then there was the funeral..." (Y/N) swallowed after his throat started to become dry, "I used to go into my mom's wardrobe and just sit in there and smell her clothes, and then I'd start crying and eventually fall asleep in there. It really worried my grandpa the first time I did that, because it took him two hours to find me."
"...I'm sorry I dismissed you that time, we both know the pain of losing someone close to us and it was wrong of me." Ashley frowned, still feeling terrible over the incident that had occurred more than a month ago now. She wished she could just take back those words that must have cut through him like a knife, "Don't start feeling sorry for me, okay? I only told you so that you would shut the fuck up. And don't start thinking we are the same, either. Your parents died in a car crash. My mother had cancer."
"It's fine. Really, you don't need to apologize again about that. I already forgave you."
"I wasn't thinking straight back then, but even that's not an excuse." She muttered, looking downwards.
"I know, I know. Please don't hate yourself for it."
(Y/N) placed a kiss on top of Ashley's head and rested his on top of hers. The two seemed to run out of words for the time being, and instead of talking, they just gazed at the television screen. Not that either of them were really paying it much attention. It was then that Annie's thoughts started running wild again, she started reflecting back on all that had occurred in the last few weeks, and how drastically her life had changed. Her mind then went over Christmas, and she couldn't help but feel a strange warmth inside.
Ashley could safely say that she had had one of the best Christmases in her life. Even despite spending it with people she didn't know all too well, they had made her feel welcome and accepted. It was a completely new experience for her, to have a boyfriend, to have people who she could maybe call friends, people who treated her with more care than her own flesh and blood. To think that she could have been spending the holiday season with her father who had done nothing but destroy her, or the fact that she could be dead right now made her feel beyond thankful for (Y/N).
She didn't even know if she would ever be able to fully show grateful she really was. Would she even get the chance? Ashley knew that she would have to sort things out soon, after all, in a few days time school would start again. She hadn't worried much last night; it had been a very pleasant and relaxed New Year's Eve. (Y/N) thought it would be nice to spend it with Ashley and his grandfather alone and instead of going out, they all stayed indoors and watched the fireworks going off outside from the window.
All the while (Y/N) hadn't really shown a care in the world, whether or not that was how he truly felt, Ashley did not know. Knowing (Y/N), he probably was thinking of the future, but she didn't dare bring up social services or anything concerning her. Ashley had tried to ignore the thoughts nagging at the back of her mind. She knew what she wanted. If she could have it her way, all she really wanted was to be able to stay here with (Y/N), even though it seemed unlikely to work out that way.
Shaking those thoughts from her mind once more, Ashley decided to distract herself. There was something else that had been pressing on her mind, something she wanted to find out.
"(Y/N), can I ask you something?"
(Y/N) was thankful that Ashley had decided to speak up, the movie on the television was rather dull and he would much rather talk again. He leaned forward slightly, trying his best to not disturb the position they were in and turned the television off.
"Sure, what is it?"
"I was wondering...what made you so interested in me in the first place?" there was never really an explanation to why, and Ashley had been curious. Nobody else had ever paid that much attention to her before, and those who had tried to get to know her in the past had been put off by her anti-social attitude and had said she was intimidating.
"Oh..." (Y/N)'s face tinged pink, "You might think I'm weird if I tell you." He let out a soft but awkward laugh that Ashley thought was cute.
"No I won't." she said quickly, looking up to meet his eyes, desperate for him to talk. She knew that he was shy, and she really hoped he would tell her. Why her of all people, would attract someone as sweet as him?
(Y/N) rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and ran a hand through his hair, "W-when I first saw you I thought that you were really pretty. But it was way more than just your appearance that made me attracted to you. I was kind of intimidated by you too, if I'm going to be completely honest. But, I had a feeling right from the very beginning that there was just so much more to you, and I was right. I couldn't help but fall harder for you every time you opened up a little. You were like a mystery at first, and I tried to analyze every detail about you...uh I'm sorry..." the boy became flustered, admitting all of this to Ashley made him sound like some kind of creep in his opinion, and he didn't want to scare or offend her.
"Please continue." Ashley prompted, not fazed by what (Y/N) had said.
"Okay...well, I had never really felt that way about anyone in my life. I just wanted to know everything about you, I wanted to see what was behind that wall you put up, and more than anything I wanted to be your friend. Every time you pushed me away, I felt the need to get closer. Also, I want you to know that I never once pitied you; I just wanted to help you. I wanted to see your beautiful smile more. You hid all of your troubles away so well, you're such a lion hearted girl...I kind of love that trait of yours. It's admirable."
Ashley felt a warm blush flood her cheeks, feeling somewhat overwhelmed by what all (Y/N) had just said. She never imagined someone would be so attracted to her, or would care about her so much. She was nothing special in her opinion, but to (Y/N), it was as if she was the most fascinating person in the world.
"I'm glad. I'm happy you didn't give up on me, even though I'm a difficult person..." Ashley said after a couple moments of quietness.
"I wouldn't ever give up on you. I love you." (Y/N) placed a kiss on the top of her head.
"I love you too." she almost whispered, even though she had accepted the fact that she did love (Y/N), it still felt strange to say it out loud. Ashley was never one to show much affection, it was something that did not come naturally to her. However, with (Y/N), who was affectionate, she couldn't help but try and open up for him. Maybe this was just another side to her. The boy really did bring out the best in her. Thanks to (Y/N), she was able to feel again, she didn't think she would ever really recover from her past. It was certain that she wouldn't have been able to do it without him.
The couple didn't say anything, and instead quietly enjoyed being in each other's embrace. Ashley's fingers started to trace over (Y/N)'s bear arms and she observed his skin tone was slightly darker than her own, even though he was still relatively pale. She saw how goose bumps formed across his arms as her light and delicate touch continued to glide over the skin. Ashley wasn't even exactly sure what she was doing, but she enjoyed doing it. That was until she saw the underside of his arm where the skin was naturally paler than on top.
She suddenly grabbed hold of (Y/N)'s wrist so that he was unable to cover anything up, "What the hell is this?" her voice was angry. Ashley hadn't meant to sound so angry. She should have been compassionate, he was always so gentle with her, and he deserved only the same treatment back. However, she had been unable to control the outburst. Not that the anger was exactly directed at him, but more to the reason why there was a good number of fading scars on his wrists. Ashley was no fool and she knew that he had inflicted these upon himself.
Of course (Y/N)'s instant reaction was to try and retract his arm away from her, to break free from her hold and hide away. It was humiliating; he didn't want her to see how weak he really was. It wasn't an option though, because she had him in her firm grasp. He had no choice but to explain, and after thinking about it for a few moments, he deemed it only fair that he tell her. After all, she had spilled her whole heart and soul to him.
For some reason though, (Y/N) just couldn't look her in the eye. Maybe it was because he felt pathetic, pathetic that he had done something so stupid only because of what some imbeciles in the school had told him and done to him. Yes, they had shoved him into lockers and bruised him, and yes they had called him all the names under the sun and made him feel completely and utterly worthless, but, he had bought into it. He believed what they said about him and that's why he had done this to himself.
"(Y/N)..." Ashley's voice snapped him away from the flashbacks. She didn't sound angry anymore, her voice was soft, and he dared himself to look her in the eye. When his large eyes met hers, he saw something he had only seen once before; her usually disinterested eyes were burning with a mixture of emotions, anger, sadness and confusion. The grasp on his arm loosened but she didn't let go. Ashley continued to stare right into his eyes, as if demanding an explanation.
"I'm sorry." (Y/N) whispered.
"Why are you saying sorry?" she glowered.
"I...I don't even know" his eyes fell to his lap.
"Why would you do this to yourself...?" was that sadness in her voice?
"It was just..." (Y/N) paused, taking in a breath. How do I explain all of this without sounding like a complete loser?
Ashley wasn't sure how to react now. Her heart was heavy in her chest at the sight of (Y/N) like this. Her pale fingers brushed the spot on his wrist in a soothing manner, mimicking the times (Y/N) had done something similar in an attempt to comfort her.
Feeling her touch on his scarred skin, (Y/N) felt a little better and exhaled the breath he had taken in, "When I started high school, I got bullied. That wasn't anything new...I've been picked on all of my life, Daniel and Monika always had to come and save me. I'm sure you can understand why, I mean, I look like an easy target right? Pathetic and useless..." (Y/N) let out a false, bitter laugh and Ashley shook her head.
"Cut that attitude out right now." She snapped, her tone turning angry again.
(Y/N)'S eyes widened, "O-okay. S-sorry..."
Ashley simply shook her head again, "I'll kick their ass. Who did it?"
"H-huh? Oh...they've all left, thank god."
"Are you lying? I'm serious. I'll beat the shit out of them, (Y/N)."
"N-no, I'm not lying. They were older than me. The ones who didn't drop out of their own accord were kicked out after trying to set a classroom on fire. Well at least, that's the rumor I heard, and I didn't see them around anymore..."
"Well, lucky for them." Ashley muttered. She was glaring at a cushion, obviously taking out her frustration on it, like he'd seen her do before to inanimate objects. (Y/N) didn't speak for a moment and fidgeted in his seat.
"Daniel and Monika were really great friends to me though, well they still are. They've always been. They helped me realize that I am worth something."
Ashley stared at (Y/N), feeling anger and sadness swirling inside of her. He didn't deserve to endure any of that. She figured that this explained why Daniel and Monika had seemed to be so protective of (Y/N); they had treated her like the bad guy, but really it was all for (Y/N)'s sake rather than to make her feel like shit.
"I'm...glad you realized it. Otherwise I'd have to pulverize you into believing it."
(Y/N)'s head shot up to look at Ashley's face, "W-what?"
"That was my idea of a crappy joke." Shit, I'm really insensitive. "But, it's true. I never want to hear you say anything along those lines again. You saved me (Y/N), there's no way you are worthless or useless."
(Y/N) nodded, and placed a kiss on Ashley's cheek. "Thanks." he said quietly.
Their eyes met for a long moment, and then Ashley spoke again. "I want to stay here with you." the words sort of tumbled from her mouth unexpectedly. She supposed that she really needed to start being open from the start rather than bottling her thoughts and feelings up, because it always seemed to get to a point where they would overflow. Ashley knew she would end up going into foster care and god only knew when she would actually get fostered by someone. As much as she had tried to not think of it over Christmas, she just couldn't help it. She wanted to stay here, with (Y/N), in his home. She knew it was unfair though, it was a burden on (Y/N)'s grandfather.
"I...I want that too, more than anything." (Y/N) took hold of Ashley's hand tightly.
"But it's impossible, isn't it?" Ashley said bitterly.
"Why is it?"
"Oh come on, (Y/N). You're the smart one. Do you really think your grandfather can support me as well? It's unfair on him. He'd have to foster me and claim all responsibility..."
"I can talk to him. We can work something out." (Y/N) stated firmly, the determination in his eyes was somehow comforting, but she didn't want to get her hopes up.