The world as we see it, is strange and complicated. We as humans love to complicate things. We try to make our lives more exciting and vivid. I used to want so much more from life. I wanted to live every day as if tomorrow would never come.
But tomorrow came. Tomorrow came in a man dressed in all black, asking if I lived around. I had never been in love before. I was intrigued. I wasn't someone that people often took a fond liking to. I read books and had little friends with whom i'd see the world with. But I never imagined myself being attached to someone romantically.
"So, tell me what you like to do... what interests you, Leo?"
" I like to read books a lot."
It all started like that. He'd always have a new book for me to read. He was always so careful around me. I think he really wanted me to like him. That made me very happy. I did like him though. Maybe more than I should've. He was something I had never seen before.
"I want to show you the world one day."
"You already have."
It all really started there. He looked down at me as if the universe was in my eyes. And maybe to him, in that instant, it was. He kissed me and my world completely stopped. I knew then that I had fallen in love. I had not fallen in love with just anybody though.
" Okay baby, I'll be back later tonight," Cris said before pulling me into a tight embrace.
"Please take care of yourself," I whispered into his ear.
He only smiled at me and kissed my forehead before leaving. His life was complicated I guess. He was a business man who had a side business that was actually his main business. He told me he had not been a saint in his younger years. And things had not changed much since then.
I was not one to judge. I accepted him for the person that he was with no question. I guess it was the only thing I could really do. I didn't know how to reject someone for being who they were.
Our life was simple. At least the part where he was with me was. The rest of his life was a locked door. Not that I wanted to open yet.
"What if I do something that will make you hate me?" Cris asked me
"I will never hate you," I told him. " I could never hate you."
"Promise me.. you will never hate me."
"I will never hate you."
He pulled me down on the bed and made me feel heat I had never felt before. It was the first time I had felt his skin completely naked and I felt like I was shaking too much.
"I have never felt this before," I whispered
"Let me teach you."
And so I let him take the lead. I let him love me. I let him show me how to truly love someone with your lips and every inch of skin.
"I will never let anything happen to you, Leo. Please believe that."
Our life was changing. His friends looked dangerous and the late night conferences that'd he have so leave me awake all night. I could not sleep until he came back home.
"What's going on, Cris?"
"I'm just taking care of some business. Everything is okay."
I didn't believe him anymore. I was afraid. I didn't want to lose him. I knew he was in danger.
"Do you trust me?" He asked
"Yes.. I do.. but Cris.. if you're in trouble, you can tell me."
"I have to keep you safe Leo. If these people find out that I have something.. someone. That I care about more than anything else, they'll come for it. I cannot let anyone have you. Ever."
Cristiano was a good man. He was the owner of many clubs and he was very famous. But he had ghosts. And these ghosts were following him.
He would rarely let me go out or take me out. He was afraid someone knew about me. I was happy with having him home. I never complained.
"Do you want to go out tonight?" Cristiano asked me
"Are you sure? Wouldn't your gangster friends say something?" I teased
"Excuse you.. I am no gangster. I am classy."
"You're a little dirty though," I said
"Yes I am," he said pushing me back on the bed.
"Cris!" I whined
"Cmon Leo, we haven't done anything in years."
"And whose fault is that?"
"Okay you're right. Go get ready so we can head out," Cris said.
Cris and I went out that night and I met all of his friends. He was such a busy man. I could barely keep up with their conversations and I started to feel like I didn't fit in with them. Not one bit.
"Are you okay Leo? You've been so quiet lately."
"Why do you like me Cris? I am nothing like the people you hang out with."
"That is why I love you Leo.. you are different. You keep me sane. I know that this lifestyle is extremely hard to get used to and deal with. But I'm extremely glad that you're here with me."
Cristiano and I were tested many times. We were tested by distance and by the bridges that our differences built in our relationship. But I loved him so I stayed by his side no matter what.
Sometimes it became too hard for me to deal with things. I'd try to leave him and then he'd chase after me with roses and love and promises that went with the wind. I was weak. But who isn't? I loved him and I accepted him.
"Leo please.. I promise you.. I really do.. I will try my best to be a better man," he'd tell me
"Cris.. you're a good man.. and you have a good business going on.. so why do you hang out with dangerous men that will bring you down?"
"Maybe I'm a dangerous man myself," he said before towering over me
"Cris.. stop.. I don't like this."
"You don't have to like it."
His entire demeanor had changed completely. Cristiano did the unbelievable that night. It will never leave the walls of our shared bedroom. It will never leave my body. I will never forget it. And no matter how many times I shower and how many times I scrub, it will never leave my skin. I will never forget the touch that burned my skin and made me cry in agony. I will never forget the day I learned what it felt like to hate someone you thought you loved.
My entire life changed then. I began to take pills in order to sleep and pain killers because I still felt the pain sometimes. It was crazy. I knew that it was over but I still felt it. I still loved him. And I still remembered the times where he touched me and made me feel loved. But that would never be again.
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I wanna make this a fanfic
