The Almost Infinity

Chapter 1

Most people you meet would recollect me as the quiet, gentle type, but my mother would say I am the epitome of a rebel. She always says "Charlie Marie you've gone past the point of no return." I am 17 years old, I smoke as much as a New Jersey bar whore and my sense of style may just be from the wrong generation, but I don't give a damn. As for my mother, why she couldn't stop me from being extraordinary even if she wanted to. If someone would ask me to sum up my life into one word I would say "shitty". I believe that may just be the perfect word for it, not only because I'm a rebel to our fucked up society, but because my father is a low life asshole who cheated on my mother and walked out when I was 3 months old. The last guy that I dated and didn't just hook up with was West Sanders. This was a year ago and we dated for 3 years. I was a stupid girl who was in love with a pothead. Most people thought I was gentle because I excluded myself from 99 percent of the people in my school. West and I didn't tell anybody our business and I'm sure a lot of people thought I had no clue about West smoking pot and being wild. I kept my second self to the people who deserved to see it. I did pot about four times and drank more than I can count, but I classified myself as a closet druggie and alcoholic. That pretty much all ended when West and I did. Everyone thought West and I would get married and start a family some day, and it got to the point where even I started to believe that and then one day we were sitting on his couch and he just looked over at me and said "Charlie, I love you." Yes, I know, that should've made me so happy, especially since we didn't say 'I love you' to each other and this was the first time he'd said that to me, but I just said "West I gotta go." I didn't even give him a chance to react or say anything back, I just got up and got the hell out of there. He called me later that night and I didn't even have the guts to answer him. I did the worst thing someone could ever do to a boyfriend/girlfriend I texted him and said "We're over." He didn't reply and we never spoke again after that. I dumped him because I was scared of him knowing how much I loved him, I couldn't possibly be in love and get hurt. My mom said I was the biggest douche bag of all time and she couldn't believe a girl could make such a boyish move. So you see, I was toxic to anyone who decided to come into my life. I was going to end up killing you, I was just like my cigarette, addicting. Then I would slowly destroy you and you wouldn't even realize it until it was too late...