My Baby Girl

Chapter 16.

I felt weird hiding what I did from Eric. For the past week I was so tempted to tell him, but I knew I couldn't. I knew that from the moment that I sent those DNA samples, I had to keep it to myself. Neither Eric or Adam would react good to this situation. I don't blame though, I wouldn't react too happy about it either. I went behind both their backs, just so I could answer my own questions. I would hope that once we do get the answers, I would hope that neither of them would be too upset with me. If they turn out to be related I'm hoping their going to be too happy to even care. If they're not related, I'm never going to mention this to either of them.

It was my first day going back to work, and I was being pretty nervous about it. I was opening Java Beans with Adam, and Eric was going to take the night shift with Isiah. Usually we don't take the night shifts, but we had no one else to close Java Beans tonight. Charlotte was going to do the mid day shift, and Monica had the day off. David and Paris come help once in a while, but we don't rely on them much since their schedule is very scattered.

I had pumped out as much breast milk as I could while staying home. Eric should be fine with Grace, and I put a whole baggy to defrost of milk. Hopefully that's all Grace will need for the morning, since she still doesn't eat that much since she's still fairly small. If she does need more milk Eric could always defrost the other baggies. I feel like I was just worrying myself. This is going to be the first time I leave her. I know she's going to be with her Dad, but it's hard leaving her. I hate to admit it, but I think it's going to be harder to leave Grace, than it was to leave Hayden when he was her age.

It's only hard because I didn't get to spend this much time with Hayden when he was a baby. I had to leave him with Isiah while I worked, since I was the one who had to provide for him. Now that I have Eric, I know the income isn't just on me. It's actually not on me at all. I don't get pay checks from Java Beans, but it doesn't really matter. The money we get in total from Java Beans, we get a good percentage of it. The way I see it I work for free, just so the shop it's self could bring in more money.

Once I was ready to go to work, I kissed Eric goodbye. I didn't bother waking him up, just how he never wakes me up when he leaves either. I know before he leaves he kisses me though, sometimes I wake up and sometimes I don't. I'll give him a kiss too, even though he didn't even twitch when my lips touched his. I smiled at that, I just hope he wakes up if Grace wakes up.

Since I still haven't gotten my drivers license, I had to ride my long board to Java Beans. I use to do it before, so I can do it now. I know I'll probably feel tired doing so, but it's something I have to do to get to work. I use to love riding my long bored, whether it was to school or to work. I enjoyed the air hitting me, it was always such a relaxing thing to do.

I grabbed my long board and headed out. I started to ride like I use to, and the familiar air hit my face as I rolled down the street. The one thing that didn't feel familiar was the burn in my legs, I wasn't use to riding anymore. What I forgot about riding though, was the way the stress just melts off your body. I felt so stressed about everything. About Hayden, and about the DNA test I sent out. Now that I'm just riding, I can't help but feel relaxed. It's like all my worries stay behind with the wind that passes me. My mind started to trail off to Hayden, how I still have no idea where he's at. Before I could get too emotional, I got to Java Beans. I was here earlier than Adam, which is a surprise since he's always here before anyone even opens the doors.

I took out my keys and opened Java Beans, Adam should be getting here any time soon. I put away my things in the break room, and grabbed an apron. I missed working, but I still missed Grace. I was so off my regular schedule, but this would be a new schedule I would have to get use to. Eric always told me that if I didn't want to return to work, I didn't have to. He would just want me to stay home and be with Grace, and Hayden when he returned to us. Just something about me tells me I have to work. Something just tells me that I wasn't made to be a house wife. I'll cook and I'll clean, I'll do everything someone expects a wife to do. I just have to work. The reason why is probably because it's an excuse to leave the house. These past days that I've been stuck at home were hard, which is why I feel like working is what's best for my sanity.