{Part 5}

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And every night, before im trying to fall asleep. I think of him. And no matter how much i toss and turn, the image of him wont go away. im left wondering if ill ever meet him again. And as the weeks become more and more depressing. I start sulking. And i start picking up more and more empty beer cans around my "sober" mother's bed. And i start cutting, just like before. And i start thinking bad thoughts. Thoughts that invlove the ocean...just like before. And as I trudge down into the clear ocean, i tell myself "Im just going to dip my feet in." And i start walking, further and further, until I'm floating lightly in the water. And as i start to take my last breath of air, ready to tunnel down into the vast ocean. I hear him. And i open my eyes...and i stop myself.

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