Shaded // 5SOS {mgc}

Eight

The beginning of the ride was painfully quiet. The radio was turned down low and everyone sat there, too shook to speak. I sit back in the passengers seat, window rolled down, the soft Australian breeze whipping through my disheveled locks. The sun is on the verge of setting. It's sat very low on the horizon, each minute moving lower. The sky is coloured a deep rose, gently transitioning into a salamander orange, the soft tints of a bumblebee yellow fade into the suns golden rays.

This time, Michael was behind Ella, giving Calum and himself enough leg room to halt the previous complaints. I turned my head lazily, peering into the backseat. Michael's head hung down, his fingers toying with the hem of his navy top. The mop of blonde on his head was messy. The light breeze was blowing his hair slightly, rearranging it. He was constantly reaching up to "fix" it, only worsening the situation. I want to brush that mess. I smiled to myself, he's such a cutie.

Ella sighed, her right hand leaving the steering wheel and gripping my knee. I offered her a small smile, her green eyes held sadness towards me. As selfish as it sounds, I don't want her sympathy. Ella doesn't have to feel sadness towards me. She has her own life to worry about, I don't want her stressing over me. Poor girl.

"Are you guys cold at all?" I asked, rotating my head to face the back seat, hesitant on rolling up my window or not.

"Nah I'm good, Allie." Calum's accent floods my ears.

"You're good, babe" Ella tapped my knee twice and returned her hand to the steering wheel.

"The breeze feels good, love" Michael looked up at me, his eyes directly fall onto mine. He smiled slightly, I bit my lip a little. He had such an effect on me. It took me so long to realize this.

"I figure I should speak up," I began, sighing, "I am very, truly, and honestly sorry for dragging you guys into this mess. Seriously, I am. You guys don't deserve this stress and sadness about the subject, or have to shudder when ever the word 'rape' is mentioned in a conversation. I feel like only I should, which is understandable." I paused and let out a sigh once again before continuing, "I know you guys are showing me sympathy, but I really don't want it. I get that it may sound selfish, but you guys have your own lives and stress to deal with, and I don't want you guys having to hold this burden over your heads. I'm sorry to throw all of this at you, but I had to get it off my chest. I've been thinking about it for a long time now."

There was a pause. Michael was the first to respond of course, "Allie, you are a victim of sexual assault. And although it's a major issue, it's not going to define you. We've known you for many years prior to this. We don't hold it against you, judge you or blame you for this happening to you. At all. We love you, Allie. And trust me, we will feel sadness and grief whenever we mention anything about the assault, Mr. Grey, or sexual assault in general. It's a serious, not to mention sensitive, topic that shouldn't be taken lightly or joked about. We aren't going to be sad forever, but I know, that this incident will be forever locked in my head."

Michael trailed off after that, tears brimming his bright eyes. He sniffles quietly to himself and reaches towards me. His hand lays on the middle console of the car, palm facing upwards. I rotate my body slightly and interlock my hand with his. I squeeze his hand. His opposite hand rubs at his teary eyes, wiping the water away.

Calum stirs in his seat, noticeably uncomfortable. Voice groggy, he speaks, "Allie, although I agree with Mike, I have to say, you are incredibly brave to face this as strongly as you have been. I wish I was as strong as you, Al. I'm so incredibly sorry that this has happened to you, even though it was two years ago now, I'm still sorry regardless." His face offers a small smile, before dropping only seconds after. I can tell how sorry he is. His eyes say what his mouth can't.