Dark coffee

Chapter one

3 years Ago

 "Please stop! I ain't playing anymore!" I shouted with a voice that was about to reach the breaking point.

Even though I was crying, tried to push him away, he kept touching me. "What the fuck is wrong with you! Get out of me!" I say before he puts his hand on my mouth and tells me to shut up. Then I felt his dick penetrate inside of me. I couldn't move anymore. All his weight was on me. With the last strength and courage that I had, I begged him."Please...Cassius STOP! You're hurting me."He didn't listen to a word. Suddenly, this mixed black man's body that once excited me, disgusted me. This cute guy over me with his brown curly hair and his hazel eyes wasn't the boyfriend with whom I been in a relationship for a year but a stranger. I kept screaming, but a few seconds after I stopped because nobody could hear me. We were at a home party in a bedroom upstairs. The music was so loud that it made the walls vibrate. He was so drunk, but I knew it didn't excuse anything. I focused on the painting that was on the wall to my left to escape from this sordid reality. Once he was done, he pretended as if nothing happened and even offered to take me home. I pushed him away and he fell. Then I took my underwear, put on my dress and went downstairs crying in a hurry to leave this place. I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore. Once I was outside, I held back my tears and decided to walk to my house. I was beyond scared walking alone in these dark streets of my neighbourhood and cold as I only had a short tight dress. Every two seconds I would turn around to make sure no one was following me.When I finally got home, I rushed to my room, being careful not to wake my parents and brothers. I locked the door of my room and headed straight to the bathroom to take a shower. I wanted to remove his smell that was impregnated on my skin. I undressed and went into the shower. The feeling of the hot water pouring all over my body made me think of what just occurred with my boyfriend and I started to cry again. That night, he didn't just rape me. He took my virginity, my first romantic time, my trust in men and my self-esteem.After the shower, I pee, put my nightwear and went in my bed. I tried to sleep but by the time I got there, it was already 7 am. I had to get ready for school. So, I got up from my bed and went to clean my face. That's when I noticed that my eyes were swollen from lack of sleep and crying all night long. Compared to other days, I didn't put any makeup and didn't do my hair. I just put on tight black jogging, a grey Tommy Hilfiger sweatshirt and tied in a ponytail my human Brazilian lace wig.
While I was getting ready, I received a text message from Soukvilay, one of my best friends, telling me that she was in front of my house and was waiting for me in her car. I didn't want to see anyone and especially not her, because she knew me very well and was going to ask me a lot of questions by seeing my mood. So, I lied to her that I was already at school and she could leave. After she left, I left the house in a hurry before a member of my family sees me. When I came to the university, I received a text message from Dorcas, another of my best friends, asking me where I was and telling me to come and join the girls and her in the cafeteria. I took my courage and joined my best friend group. After all, seeing the girls might make me feel good. Once I get there, I sat at their table. They were in the middle of a discussion because Dorcas was braiding her hair with X-Pression package at school. "Girl! You couldn't finish your braids at home? Everyone is watching us!" Kanesha said to Dorcas.
"I swear this girl is killing me so much!" replied Soukvilay.Dorcas said with exaggeration "Y'all know how my aunties are! They braiding 10 part of your head and then they go do I don't know what in the kitchen, maybe cooking some pondu. God only knows. Then, take care of their children and talk on the phone with my family in Congo.". Everyone laughed except me what attracted Estephania's attention. She looked at me. "Are you ok Chula?" She asked. "You haven't said a word since you came and see how messy your hair is, you didn't have a good night." "You mean she didn't sleep at night!" Kanesha said with a dirty mind.
″Hell yeah! She had some Cassius Vitamin D!" Dorcas said aloud.As soon as I hear his name, I wanted to vomit and cry. So, I ran into the university washroom without caring of the girls yelling "Dahila waits!"
When I came in, I cried all the tears of my body. After a few seconds, I finally calmed down; I wiped my face with water and brown paper. I looked at myself in the mirror; I had swollen red eyes. I stood for a minute looking at my reflection without saying anything and then, I said to myself; "You're a strong, smart, beautiful with your small tits, your fat ass, your curve, your average girl shapes, your beautiful brown skin, your light freckles around the nose and your brown cocoa eyes." These words allowed me to feel better. I fix my hair a bit, put on some gloss and mascara. I opened the bathroom door to head into my class because I was already late and that's when I came across the one person I wanted to avoid; Cassius.
"Dahila, we need to talk about yesterday." He said without an ounce of regret.I yelled almost crying again, "you're going to talk to yourself. I have nothing more to say to you! ... I can't believe you stole my first time like this! You knew how much it meant to me!" "You play the victim and what else!" He approached me in a threatening way. "Do I need to remind you that you said yes, you went upstairs with me and you even gave me a head! It's only after when I was down with all this that you said you no longer want to do it. By teasing a guy like that, what were you expecting?" I replied disgusted by what he just said "Nothing, I'm not expecting anything from you anymore." I turned to leave but stopped and faced him again. "Cassius, one last thing, it's over between us, I should never have trusted you, you're not better than other guys!"
I saw anger rising on his face. He approached me more, pushed me against the wall violently and grabbed my arm hard. His face was so close to mine when he asked "Who do you think you're talking to like that? To a shit?" "I have too much respect for shit compared to you!" I confronted him.Without expecting it he slapped me, grabbed my arm again and whispered to me close to my ear "You were not even worth it." I was afraid of him and felt helpless. He was going to hit me again when suddenly a guy that I had never seen caught up.
"Is there a problem here?" He asked, looking at Cassius' hands, which were squeezing my arm. Cassius fake smiled at him "Nah bro, I'm done with her anyway." He let go of me and went away. I was relieved to see him go. After he left, the other guy told me calmly. "You good?""Yes, I am fine," I say coldly, crossing my arms and looking at him with a bad look. "Ok hum ... Sorry for helping you I guess." He started to walk away.
"Wait! I'm sorry. I'm not like that usually ... it's just that ..." I couldn't find words to tell him. I didn't even know what to tell him. "Nah it's chill, you don't need to explain to me anything. I understand." He smiled at me. His smile made me realize that the guy I had in front of me was handsome. He was dark skin with beautiful masculine facial features. His black hair was short with a curly low top fade haircut. His beard style regrowth of a month framed well his fleshy lips as dark as his skin. His dimple on the right side of his cheek when he smiled, adding something to his charm. Despite his finest, I didn't focus on it. I simply told him "Thanks by the way for... You know""Yeah, I know... You're welcome" He made a movement as if he was about to leave again, but stopped and asked me "Could you do me a favour?""It depends if it's sexual or dangerous. Then, forget me right now, like, right now for real." I replied.He laughed slightly at me "Yeah, I was just about to ask you to come and kill someone with me and after making money on your back with pimping. Obviously!"I laugh. He smiled at me again and took back his seriousness "To be more serious, I'm new here, and... a little bit lost. Also, very late. Could you tell me where the DL-350 is?""Sure, it's on the same floor as my class but a little further. I'm also late, so, I will just indicate you how to get there. You will be fine?" I said"Yeah I will, it's ok for me" he replied"Follow me then. We will take the elevator to the third floor. It's faster""Ight" We took the elevator and arrived on the third floor. I explained to him how to get to his class because we were in front of mine. When I was done, he said to me "Thanks again" before I get in my class. Once I get in, I went to sit between Soukvilay and Dorcas. It was our only common class. As soon as I took place, Dorcas whispered to me "Why did you leave earlier?"
"I just didn't feel well," I said."You're better?" Soukvilay asked. "Yes, I am" Then Dorcas added "Lingling (Lingling was Soukvilay nickname), the other girls and I were worried about you. We thought you were mad because of what we said" "Absolutely not, I know how y'all are," I say a little more cheerfulness. We laughed and the teacher got upset. He told us that if we wanted to continue our conversation, we could take the door. We apologize and he resumed.
After that class, the school's day passed slowly. I knew that the girls saw that I didn't feel well, but I wasn't ready to tell neither them nor anyone on that matter. The truth is ... I don't think I'll ever be ready to talk about it. After avoiding the girls all day, it was finally the end of my last class. I went to wait for Jamal, one of my big brothers, in front of the entrance of the University as usual. I've been waiting for him for about ten minutes sitting on the stairs. I knew he had a football practice tonight with his team, but normally he was already supposed to be there to take me home. In our neighbourhood, it was dangerous to walk alone at night in the streets. With what happened to me yesterday, I didn't want it to happen again. I waited for Jamal for another 30 minutes, but he never showed up. After a while, I was tired of waiting for him. It was getting dark and a group of guys on the other side of the street stared at me like a piece of meat. I have no other choice, I had to face my fears and take the subway to get home. My university was 40 minutes away from the house and 6 minutes from the subway. I started to walk. I had been walking for 3 minutes already when a black car with tinted windows slows by passing by me. I was scared so I kept going by raising my head and walking with confidence. I don't know why, but I always thought by acting like that nobody would come to try me. Suddenly, the driver lowered his tinted window and spoke to me. "Hey!" He said. I didn't recognize the voice. I ignored him without looking at him. I felt he was still following me, and I began to get more and more afraid.
"I would have called you by your name, but I don't know it. We met each other this morning. You remember DL-350?" He tells me.
After these words, I stopped walking. Then he stood on the edge. I went to his car without being too close. I still had to be on my guard. As soon as I made a convenient distance, I told him frightened "Are you crazy! What's wrong with you!? Getting a girl like this!? You know what neighbourhood we are in? You scared the shit out of me!"
"I'm sorry, I didn't want to scare you... but if we're in such a dangerous neighbourhood why are you walking alone in the street?" He asked.
I replied coldly, "sorry, but it's not because you helped me this morning that it means we know each other, I don't have to tell you my life."
"Are you always so aggressive with guys you don't know?" He asked "Sorry what?" I say stunned by his remark. "You heard me. I guess you're a girl who likes to be spoken with respect so news flash, I'm a guy who likes to be spoken with respect as well" He said pissed off. I didn't reply. "Listen, I'm not here to create a drama with you. In fact, I saw you and I thought you'd like to have a lift till your home but maybe I was wrong."
His kindness although well-intentioned made me uncomfortable. I didn't trust guys anymore. I think he felt my distrust of him because he told me "I will not hurt you." "That's what people say before they hurt someone," I say "True..." He sighed. "I just want to take you home; you don't have to be afraid of me. I'll feel bad if something happens to you by letting you walk. I have a little brother and I would have liked someone to bring him back home but if you prefer to walk it's up to you."
I hesitated for a few seconds "I don't know ... Okay! Fine!" I climbed into his car. When I was in, he asked me where I lived. I gave him my address and we left the university grounds. During the drive to my house, there were Kendrick's songs playing
We drove for a while without saying a word when he says, "Can I ask you a question?" "Go ahead," I said intrigued "It was your boyfriend this morning?" "No, he's not..." "Okay cool. I think I just came at your place." I looked through the window and confirmed to him that it was the right place. He parked his car in my lobby. "Thank you". I said embarrassed. Then he says "It's nothing ... Before you get out, do you mind if I ask you what's your name?" "Actually, yes I mind," I say by taking my purse, leaving his car and closing the door. He lowered the window on the passenger seat and said to me smiling while opening his mouth so much that he was shocked. "So you're just going to leave me like that? I don't even have the right to have a clue for bringing you home safely?" I crossed my arms close to my chest, bent my head slightly down, and smiled at him "Why do you want to know my name? It's not enough for you to know where I live." I asked. "You made yourself understood," He said before starting his car. "My name starts by D. You already know too much about me, I will not tell you more. See you soon hum...?" I stopped when I realizing I didn't know his name either.
He let out a laugh "You can keep dreaming if you think I'll tell you my name after that! See you tomorrow, Miss.D." He smiled at me what brought out his dimple. I smiled back before getting home.
As soon as I went home, I met Malik, my other big brother precisely the one who comes before me. Malik was in navy blue nightclothes that brought out his brown-green eyes and light brown skin. He had tied his dark brown dreadlocks fade haircut from the root and shaded light brown that comes to his shoulders. When I saw him, I asked upset "Malik, where's Jamal?" He foolishly replied like a teenager even if he was 21 "You think I'm his babysitter?! I don't know! You have feet; you just have to look for him"
"Fuck you, Malik!" I yelled at him "Fuck you!" He said pissed off by me. After that, I went upstairs even madder. I reached Jamal's room, but there was a sock on his door. My brothers and I created the sock rule when we were younger to indicate that we didn't want to be disturbed. Over the years, this rule became the way to know that they were with a girl. I was so angry to know he risked my life just to fuck with a girl that I was going to open the door and break the rule when Lens, the oldest of my brothers, came. Lens was also in nightclothes that let us see his tattoo on his left forearm. He wore a durag that covered his faux hawk taper fade and his vintage square eyeglasses.
"Where do you think you're going? You forgot the rule?" He said. "I don't give a fuck about the rule! Jamal left me! When we make a promise, we must hold it! I waited for you Jamal for more than half an hour!" I yelled Lens tried to calm me down because I was going to wake our parents. I knocked on Jamal's door like a real madman "Jamal opens this door immediately! Jamal! I'm not playing with you! Jamal!" I yelled. He came out of his room shirtless which exposed his brown skin and his abs. His wavy low fade hair cut was a little bit messy. He was ready to hit me so much that I had pissed him off, but Lens who was a little more in shape and taller than him stopped him. "It's rather you who's lucky that he's there! Don't make me any more promises if they are to be forgotten!" After these words, I went to my room. I put on my nightgown and my scarf to protect my hair and edges. I was getting under my sheets when I heard someone knock at my door.
"Who is it?" I asked The person replied "Jamal" "Come in" I replied. "Are you going to beat me if I get in?" He asked like a little boy I laughed and said "No" and he came in.

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. After practicing with the guys, I went to KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) with them and I forgot to pick you up. "

"It's fine," I say

Then he asked me concerned "How did you get here?" I couldn't tell my brother that a guy that I didn't know had taken me home. He would have freaked out! So I lied to him trying to divert the conversation "I took the subway, you bring some KFC?"

"Yeah"

I say happily, "seriously! Where?"

"Downstairs in the kitchen..." I rushed to the kitchen without letting him finish his sentence because one thing I learned from having three older brothers is if I don't eat first or hide food in my room nothing will be left.

As soon as I got in the kitchen, Lens and Malik were already serving themselves. I stole two chickens each on their plates when they were opening the fridge to take some juice. Unfortunately, Malik noticed it. They started running after me all over the house, but I licked the four chickens and they stopped chasing me. I took a plate and I dropped my chickens. I added fries and brown sauce. I ate quietly with Malik and Lens when the main door rang. Lens left to open. The minute he opens a girl yelled "Where is Malik!" Malik slapped me lightly on the shoulder several times. "What do you want," I said tiredly. "Shush!"Then he whispered to me to tell Lens to tell the girl that he wasn't there.
I went to the door without her being able to see me even though I could see her and looked at Lens with a look that meant he had to lie. That's what he did, "I don't know, you know my brother, always hanging out." She sighed rolling her eyes "If you see him tell him to go fuck himself" "I will..." He closed the door and we all started laughing. Jamal heard everything. While he was coming down the stairs, he said imitating the girl's voice "If you see him tell him to go fuck himself" We laughed even more. "Malik, there's a rule that every fuckboy should know, don't make them love you!" He added.
"I can't do anything about it! She loved too much to receive the D, it made her addicted," says Malik. All my brothers laughed. Lens was dead laughing almost on the floor. "You guys are stupid, I'm going to sleep," I say because by listening to them talking, I thought back to the party with Cassius and it gave me chills. I just wanted to sleep. I left them and went up to my room. While going to sleep, I received a text from Estephania that I had nicknamed in my phone contacts Bonita. "Are you sleeping? I know about you and Cassius ...