Elysian Fields (A Kyman Fanfiction)

Chapter 24: For Today I Am A Boy

I was a child again. Young, naive and hopeful at the promise tomorrow will be better than today. We're all playing videogames at Cartman's because he has the biggest screen and the best snacks. We were young then, weren't we? Happy-stupid and not worried about where we were going despite how complicated our lives got.

"I'm gonna get you, kike!" He yells, elbowing me while pushing his character onward toward me, flamethrower risen.

"You wish, fatass!" You really were fat. God your globs literally hang over and touch me as I wrench myself away from you and counter strike.

"Here," Stan offers, healing me and hitting Cartman's character with a baseball bat, knocking him off the screen.

"We said no teams!" Cartman retorts. Kenny snickers into his coat.

"Eric! Come out sweetie," Mrs Cartman calls from the kitchen.

"Not now Mom I'm kicking ass," he replies rudely, his character re-spawning in the middle of the screen and making a beeline for Stan's. I ready my bow.

"It looks more like you're getting your ass handed to you," Stan states as I knock Cartman off the side again. His wire almost disconnects as he throws the controller angrily and I feel so satisfied, but none of us tear our eyes from the screen.

"Sweetie, these nice officers would like to talk to you for a second," Miss Cartman appears in the doorway, all smiles and brunette motherly sex appeal. I glance over, mildly noting the one police officer flanked by two men in black suits. Kenny knocks me off the screen and I get back to the task at hand.

"Coming," Cartman murmurs, hopping down off the couch and scuttling into the kitchen, as we continue to pummel each other on the screen and eat our small weights in Cheesy Poofs.

"What was that about?" Stan asks absentmindedly when Cartman finally rejoins us, almost half an hour later. I feel like my brain is going to melt out of my eye sockets from playing so much but I literally cannot stop.

"It's just the FBI," the fatass responds casually.

"And what would the FBI want with you?" Stan asks. None of us are particularly surprised or care. We're only here to play his games and eat his food.

"Nothing!" Cartman yells defensively, feeling around the bowl. "Hey! Who ate all the damn Cheesy Poofs?"

"What did you do this time lard ass?" I ask, not even bothering to pause the game for Cartman as he fumbles with the controller.

"Nothing you guys don't know about..." he replies, moving his character into action again.

Kenny murmurs something about Scott Tenorman and I dart out of his princess' way.

"They can't charge me with that..." the squat boy replies lamely. He adds in a cool whisper, "Even though I planned the whole thing..."

"Be seeing you, Eric," a very tall man says behind black sunglasses. "And nice to see you again Mrs Cartman."

She appears more nervous and flustered than usual but what do I know, she could be flirting with him. "Good to see you as well, Astley."

Cartman chortles, "Ass-tley," and laughs again.

The tall one smiles and peers down at Cartman with cold blue eyes over his sunglasses. "That's funny. We're going to be good friends, Eric." His cohort, a dark-skinned man clothed in the same uniform of black aviators and a black suit, nods. "We'll love to catch up sometime soon."