Angels {Brendon Urie/Panic! At The Disco} -COMPLETED-

San Fran

A few days passed and I was slowly beginning to grab a hold of reality. Brendon was still at my house and he hadn’t left me alone unless he went to visit one of the guys. Most of the time, they came here and hung out with us. We watched a bunch of movies, ate popcorn and Spencer even attempted to drink 10 bottles of Mountain Dew in 2 minutes which didn’t end well.

Mornings were quite distressing for me. Despite almost getting used to everything else, I would still wake in the morning, thinking that Ian would be there next to me. It would take me a few minutes to get myself out of bed and get showered. Brendon would always be downstairs, dressed and ready to go. He was really a huge help to me. I just hoped that I wasn’t weighing him down, I knew that he was just as upset as I was, he just didn’t show it. And I constantly felt bad.

‘’Hey Brendon, can I talk to you?’’ I called out, sitting down on the sofa. Brendon soon appeared and threw himself down next to me.

‘’Sure, what’s up?’’ He grinned, but I could see that behind his eyes there were flickers of pain.

‘’I wanted to ask if you were, like, okay. I’m so grateful that you’ve been here for me but I know Ian’s death hit us all hard, but I never spoke to you about it like you’ve spoken to me. I want you to know that you do have somebody to talk to if you ever want to. I’m always here, you know?’’

Brendon looked at me and sighed, rubbing his forehead.

‘’Truth is,’’ He looked up, ‘’I miss the guy. I miss the guy a whole fucking lot. But I know that he isn’t coming back, and there’s nothing I can do about that’’

‘’Besides, I cried for about three hours straight before the funeral, I’m all cried out,’’ Brendon chuckled to himself and blinked back the tears that I could see were forming in his eyes.

‘’And to be honest, I’m not the one that needs to be comforted, I know that you’re not great by yourself-‘’

‘’Not great? So your saying that I can’t handle myself?’’

I looked at Brendon. I was so confused at what he’d just said. I thought he understood, clearly not.

‘’I didn’t say that! I meant that I know that you get upset and I want to be there but-‘’

‘’Brendon and can handle this by myself! If you don’t want to be here then leave!’’ I stormed into the kitchen, Brendon followed me.

‘’Come on Tash, I didn’t mean it like that!’’

‘’Yes you did! You think that I’m an emotional wreck and that you need to be here 24/7, well guess what? I’m not a bloody child Brendon! It’s a good job I’m leaving you soon, then maybe you can get back to your normal life and stop chasing around after a pathetic little wimp!’’

I screamed, immediately regretting it as I ran up the stairs, slamming my bedroom door shut. I heard Brendon’s footsteps get closer, until they were right outside the door that he then gently knocked on.

‘’You’re leaving?’’ He said quietly.

‘’Yeah, I’m going back to San Fran, I need to start over’’.

I heard Brendon sigh. He sat down, his back against the other side of my door.

‘’Please don’t leave me…’’

‘’It’d be better for everyone if I just left. You can get back to the band, and I can start a new life’’.

‘’That won’t make me feel any better. You know why?’’

‘’No’’ I mumbled.

‘’Look, I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but I think I love you’’.

*a/n I UPDATED YAY!

There was a LOT of dialouge in this so sorry if it sucked:/

comment/vote/fan*