Angels {Brendon Urie/Panic! At The Disco} -COMPLETED-

Wedding in Nevada

We were back in Nevada for the wedding, much thanks to my persuasive skills and Ben’s drunken agreements, I was happy to be back here. I loved Nevada. Being away from San Francisco for a while was nice, especially coming back here…it’s where my life is, you know? Now a big part of it belongs in San Fran, but Nevada is my home, born and raised.

I felt the strings on the back of my corset tighten up, and then, I was finished. I was told to open my eyes, and the sheet that was covering the mirror was flung away. As big headed as it sounded, the way I looked took my breath away. I looked beautiful. And not only did I look it, I felt it too. Tina hugged me tight. She also looked amazing in her royal blue dress and matte grey high heels. Our hair was styled the same, up in a bun with lose strands. Our make-up was the same, apart from my eye make-up was blue and Tina’s was grey. I squeezed her hand and she grinned at me. My mother was just getting her finishing touches done, and the other bridesmaids, Breezy, Linda and little Amelie, were in another room somewhere, probably trying to entertain Amelie.

‘’You look…gorgeous,’’ Tina smiled at me, shaking her head in what I thought was disbelief.

‘’Thank you, Tina. You look equally as amazing. How long left?’’ She checked her phone.

‘’Just under an hour,’’ She grinned and I bit my lip, smiling.

‘’I just…uh, I just gotta go do something. I’ll be back before it starts, don’t worry,’’

I began to dash out of the room, hearing a ‘’Can’t start without you!’’ From Tina.

I quickly walked out of the doors of the hotel, holding my dress up so it didn’t get dirty. I wanted this all to be perfect, but before that could happen, I needed to do something. Something that was very long and overdue.

Picking my speed up, I weaved down the dusty streets of Nevada. I made a left, speed walking past the park and down a back ally until I reached the church. I bit my lip as I made my way through the head stones. My heart got caught in my mouth when I read the words:

Here lies the body of Ian Crawford

Loving son, brother and boyfriend

Rest In Peace.

Boyfriend.

I repeated it over and over in my head. Boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend.  It should’ve said husband.

Throwing myself onto the ground, I rest my head on the tombstone, crying my eyes out. It broke my heart that he never got to see me in this dress. He should’ve seen me. He should’ve held me, and kissed me and told me how beautiful I was. He would’ve had tears falling from his eyes that I longed to see just one more time. He should’ve done so much more, but he didn’t, and he never will. And none of it was his fault.

‘’Natasha? What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at the church?’’

I looked up and saw Brendon. He was dressed in his tux and bow tie. His hair was different, it was now shorter at the sides and more fluffy at the top. He bent down next to me, resting a hand on my shoulder.

‘’I can’t do it, Bren,’’ I choked, staring at him as my make-up ran down my face, ‘’I can’t get married knowing that it should have been Ian that was there…I just can’t’’.

I collapsed into Brendon’s arms, who wrapped themselves tightly around me. He sat down on the grass, cuddling me into his chest as I cried. I cried out all the emotion that I’ve had ever since I’ve been with Ben. I hadn’t been back to Nevada since I left, and I haven’t seen Ian’s grave since the burial.

‘’Shh, it’s okay…let it all out.’’

Brendon held me close, rubbing my back gently. He kissed the top of my head as I cried. Then, as the first rain drop hit the ground, all I heard was,

‘When the world gets too heavy,

Put it on, my back’

*a/n legit tears while writting this, like seriously, the things I do to myself. Well you gotta read it too, so lemme know if you had a couple tears in your eyes too:')

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