Promises You Can't Keep (A Tom Hiddleston/Lee Pace Fan Fic)

Part 1 ~ Chapter 2

Mallory's POV

"So, you really don't want children?" I ask a bit incredulously.

"Nope," Tom replies before taking a sip of his Guiness. We're at the local pub, watching a tennis match on the telly and generally drinking our way through dinner. We do this every once in a while when Tom's home. I think it makes him feel like a regular bloke, and it gives me an excuse to make fun of one of the sports that he loves.

"Why do you tell people you do then?" I ask, seeing Tom wince when the player he's rooting for misses a shot.

"Ooooh, too bad he missed with that bat thingy," I say, looking sideways at Tom to see his reaction.

"It's called a racquet, Mal," he says, not looking my way but I can hear the frustration in his voice.

"It's easier. People look at you oddly when you say you don't want children," he continues, flagging down the bartender to order another round.
"You want rug rats, then?" Tom asks, eyeing me from the side before watching the match again.

"I don't know... maybe," I say, and Tom looks at me, no longer distracted by the match.

"What kind of answer is that?"

"An honest one, I guess," I say with a shrug. Tom continues to stare at me, so much so that I feel the need to elaborate.

"You see, I've always thought it was much more important to find a man to have a child with and determine if it's the right match. You know, that you want the same things and you see yourselves raising a child together, not automatically assuming because you love someone that they'll be a great parent, or they'll be on the same page with you as far as parenting goes," I say, taking a sip of my fresh beer.

"Yeah, I get that. But really? You want to put up with the loss of sleep, nappy changes, and other stuff just to have a kid?"

I shrug again, having nothing else to add. Honestly, I've never thought of those things as a burden. An inconvenience at times, yes, maybe even times when you say to your partner, "I need a break. Can you take the feedings tonight?" But a burden... well, I guess I've always thought that the joys would outweigh the sacrifices in the end.

"So, you're saying it's all an act when you're with Ben's kids or even your niece?" I ask, grabbing some of the complementary popcorn as I start to feel the effects of my third beer.

"Absolutely not!" he says, turning to me again. "I love Kit and Miri, and you know I think Lucy hung the moon. Do you know she's playing the lead in her school's performance of that Doctor Seuss story?"

"The Cat in the Hat?"

"No, not that one."

"Horton Hears a Who?"

"No, the other one."

"The Lorax?"

"Yes, that's the one!" he says, grabbing some of the popcorn I've been eating and throwing it in his mouth.

We're both silent for a bit before Tom finally turns to me.

"It's just that, in addition to the sleepless nights and nappy changes, do you really want to deal with everything else?"

"What else is there?" I ask with wide eyes, though I know he's about to tell me. Tom scowls at me, and I know I've gotten under his skin with my innocent act.

"What else is there? Well, there are runny noses, the terrible twos, the even worse teen years, worries when they're sick or start driving. And dating? Don't even get me started! The idea that I could have a teen in this day and age dating gets my knickers in a wad."

I stifle a giggle at his outburst, then I take on a serious face as best I can.
"Yeah. I mean, what if you were to have a daughter?"

I think I see Tom visibly shiver as he turns to me with a scowl. "She'd not date as long as I am alive." I burst into laughter at his response, causing some of the other pub patrons to look our way. Once I calm down, they resume their drinking and talking, once again oblivious to the Golden Globe winner in their presence.

Tom's POV

As we walk back to my house, I feel the effects of the pints I drank. I throw my arm over Mal's shoulders, snuggling her into my side and sneaking kisses when we encounter dark areas along our walk. By the time I unlock my door and shove her in, I'm kissing her within in an inch of her life.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" I ask, and I think I hear a neediness in my voice that I hope Mal didn't pick up on.

"If you want," she says, taking my hand to lead me to my own bedroom.
As we enter and I start kissing her, I'm looking forward to our intimacy. Mal is a great lover, both giving and accepting of what I have to give. But if I'm perfectly honest, I look forward to the aftermath of our sex almost as much as the act itself.

Though I start on my own side of the bed when we sleep together, I always end up migrating toward her, wrapping my arms and legs around her to spoon. When I wake sometimes during the night while doing this, I hum quietly some tuneless tune, allowing myself to truly feel the love and warmth that I always feel with Mallory. The problem is no good would come of us trying to have a real relationship. I'm much too busy to give her the attention I should if we were together. Plus, I've been down that path one too many times, with the scars on my heart and my reputation to prove it.

My real fear is that it won't work out. What would I do then? I'd not only lose my lover but, more importantly, I'd lose my friend. No sir, I'm best keeping things as they are with Mal.

Mallory's POV

We'd had fun tonight. Tom was playful, tickling me in between kisses and removing an article of clothing, either his or mine. When we were finally both naked, he tackled me and began placing nommy kisses down my neck and stomach to my nether regions. He'd waggled his eyebrows at me before taking on a soft look while kissing the inside of my thighs.

"Mal, do you have any idea how beautiful you are?"

I smiled at him from my vantage point, knowing that he'd had just enough to drink to loosen his tongue... in more ways than one.

"I bet you say that to all the girls," I said before taking a quick breath when he rubbed his nose against my clit.

"No... I only say it to you," he said, smiling softly before closing his eyes and beginning to drive me over the edge with his tongue and hands.

When we had finally had intercourse, the condom broke just a few strokes before his climax. "Mal?" he asked with almost pain in his eyes, questioning if he should stop. "Don't worry. I'm on the pill. Remember?" I said breathlessly before he caused me to orgasm again, taking him over the edge with me.

I lie awake afterward, listening to Tom's breathing as he sleeps.

Sex with Tom is always great, whether he is playful, serious, or downright dirty. I have to admit, I always restrain myself though. Not from feeling or making him feel good. No, it's about the kissing. Tom and I kiss both before and after the act, but never during. He's tried to kiss me a few times when we're in the throes of passion, but I turn my head, or kiss him on his cheek or neck instead. I can't bear to kiss him on the lips during the act because I am quite sure that would be my undoing, then I'd have to explain to my best friend/lover why I'm crying like a loon.

No, it's best to keep kissing and sex separate. That way I can keep these feelings I have for Tom under wraps. Just keep it fun and friendly, nothing more and nothing less. At least, that's what I tell myself...

Tom turns on his side toward me, and his arms reach out, pulling me to his chest. He's sweet when he's like this, getting a little smile in his sleep when he snuggles up to me, humming some tune for a moment that I don't recognize.

It's in these times I allow myself to pretend, just for a moment, that we're a real couple, and that Tom has told me he loves me just before drifting off to sleep.

I turn on my side away from him, allowing him to pull me in closer to his chest as I let a tear to slip from my eye to the pillow.