Promises You Can't Keep (A Tom Hiddleston/Lee Pace Fan Fic)

Part 2 ~ Chapter 1

Tom's POV

I stand in silence thinking about what Mallory has said. Lee's father's name is not James? Then why name him James? The truth she is revealing to me hits so suddenly that I grab a nearby table to steady myself. Nine months ago... it had been us, together as a couple... that really wasn't.

The room is silent, except for the blood rushing in my ears as I walk toward her as she holds little James. He's like most babies, I suppose, with a sweet cherub face and chubby in all the right places. As I really look at him for the first time, I see that his hair is blond unlike Mallory or Lee's. Also, though his cheeks are round, they have a hint that he may have high cheekbones like me.

As I step to her side, she looks up at me with a sheen of tears in her eyes. I reach down and touch his little hand, and it opens in what seems like a spasm in response to his new outside world, then he grips my finger while opening his eyes. Looking back at me are my eyes, the way I'd looked in so many family photos at that age.

"May I hold him?" I ask as I manage to keep the quiver out of my voice.

"Of course," Mal whispers as we do the awkward exchange new parents do when first transferring a new baby from one to the other.

As I take him into my arms, he yawns as if a father holding his son for the first time is the most boring thing in the world. I, on the other hand, feel the greatest love I've ever known at holding my son. It's so intense that I find I can keep it in no longer. The trouble is I don't even realize I'm crying until I hear a soft sob from Mallory as I see my own tears dropping onto sweet little James' face. He starts at the sudden sensation and begins to cry. Before handing him back for the comfort of his mum, I kiss his forehead.

"It's okay, little man. Everything will be alright," I whisper as Mallory snuggles him back to her, causing him to quiet almost instantly.

She looks at me again, and the love I feel for James changes to something else: pain, regret, and anger at this woman who I feel has committed the ultimate betrayal on me. I know she sees the change in me as I take a step back to put a bit of distance between us.

"You'll be hearing from my attorney," I say softly as I turn and walk from the room. I hear Ben curse then call after me, but I just keep walking then running from the hospital, feeling as if a specter of my own culpability is chasing me.

Mallory's POV

Two months later...

"How is he?" I ask as I hand Jamie to Sophie. She shrugs before giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

"The same as usual, I guess. He mopes around mostly except when he's with Jamie."

I nod, leaning in to give Jamie a kiss on his chubby cheek. He's growing like a weed, and everyone comments how alert he is for two months. I think he'll be naturally inquisitive like his father, and thinking this makes me sigh.

Tom had indeed contacted his attorney who then contacted me. He wants joint custody, though I'd managed to stave it off with Jamie being so little. Still, I bring Jamie around to Ben and Sophie's once a week so Tom can have visitation for a few hours. It breaks my heart every time I leave him, not just because I'm a new mum leaving her baby, but because I realize this will likely be what the rest of his life looks like: time split between homes with two of everything, alternating holidays, and those awkward occasions like birthdays, school plays, and graduations at which Tom and I will both be present and have to play nice. And it's all my fault. Every bit of it, and I'll probably spend the rest of my life apologizing to both Jamie and Tom for the mess I've made.