Promises You Can't Keep (A Tom Hiddleston/Lee Pace Fan Fic)

Part 1 ~ Chapter 3

Mallory's POV

"I've met someone," Tom says not long after walking into my flat. He's been busy for several weeks, working on a play he'll be performing at the West End and contributing time to his favorite cause, UNICEF.  We've not had much time to hang out, but that's not unusual when either of us is busy.  Still, I feel a shock at his announcement.

"You have?" I say a bit breathlessly, hoping my tone covers the feeling that I've just been socked in the gut.

"Yes.  Her name is Amelia, and she's a researcher for the Smithsonian based here in London," he says as he places the to-go containers on my kitchen counter.  It smells delicious, but my appetite is gone.

"Where did you meet her?" I ask, grabbing the plates from a shelf.

"At a UNICEF luncheon. She was there to find out more about volunteering, and we started having the most interesting discussion about the differences between early Greek and Minoan cultures.  She's brilliant and funny, and not interested at all in my celebrity status.  I just know you're going to love her, Mal."

Tom busies himself loading up our plates while I grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator. 

"No wine tonight?" he asks. 

"Help yourself.  I've had a bit of a sour stomach today," I say, taking a long drink in the hopes of calming my stomach and my nerves.

Tom shrugs and grabs a beer from the refrigerator before sitting at the table with his food.  I grab my plate, though I intend to move the food around mostly to make it look as if I'm eating.

"So, when do I get to meet the soon-to-be Mrs. Hiddleston?" I ask, trying to make light of the situation, though I swear I almost gag at my own question.

"Tomorrow night.  That is, if you're available.  Ben and Sophie are meeting us at the pub to have a pint," he says before taking a mouthful of food. 

"So... it's serious then?"

Tom shrugs before answering.  "She is brilliant in every way, Mal. If you're asking if I've said the L word yet, the answer is no.  After all, we've only just met, and I don't want to scare her off." He smiles a dorky smile at me then, and I try my best to return it in kind.  Still, I struggle with my emotions, alternating between wanting to cry or slap him for his behavior.  That's the double-edged sword of being friends with benefits – you eventually develop some level of possessiveness of the other person, only you're not allowed to.  Yep, it's a real bitch, this friends with benefits arrangement.  Or at least it was, I think, realizing that tonight is likely the equivalent of "it's not you, it's me" kiss-off if this were a real relationship.  After all, surely Tom will not want to sleep with me with a new girlfriend in the wings.  And if he does? Well, I may be in love with the man, but I do have my limits.

I stare at my plate, thinking of what I've finally willingly admitted to myself.  I love Tom.  I think I have for some time.  But now? Well, the chance of it becoming anything more than it is has been shot to hell.  All I can do is try to salvage our friendship.  After all, it's always been more important to me to keep him as a friend than a lover... hasn't it?

"Earth to Mal.  Are you sure you're alright?" Tom asks as he waves his hand in front of my face. 

"I'm fine," I say, trying to muster a smile as I stand and take my plate to the rubbish bin to scrape off the untouched food.

Tom follows suit, rinsing both of our plates and placing them in the rack to dry.

"Are you sure you're feeling well? Maybe you should see a doctor," Tom says, resting his hand against my forehead as he stands in front of me.