Ring by Spring| ✓

twelve.

WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME?

I woke up early in the morning with a heavy heart. I was slower as I moved around the bathroom, taking way longer to get ready. The bride and bridal party was today and as excited as I should be for the event, I can honestly care less; I had my own issues that stole my focus. Graham's words from last night rang loudly in my head. I found myself unable to drown them out. Rather, I listened to them over and over again, trapping myself in a vicious cycle of regret. I knew he was right with his discretion. His analysis of my reaction to him was on point, buy comebacks weren't.

When I finished getting ready, I finally looked at myself for the first time since last time. My eyes looked tired and tired I was. Mentally, I was overworked. There wasn't an enough amount of time I could rest to energize my mind. I was always thinking about that moment about Graham and most importantly, about Graham himself.

I scolded myself for thinking about him again as I made my way to where everyone was gathered. I needed to focus on Parth like I'd claimed I would. Perhaps the only way I can forget my Graham problems is to replace them with ones of Parth.

"Annie, there you are! You had us worried," Simirin rushed to my side, instantly swarming me into her arms.

I shrugged, because I was at lost for a response. What was I supposed to say, admit that I was thinking about Graham all day and that's why I'm late? No, thank you. Rather, I added a forced smile and said, "Sorry, I got carried away and slept in a little too much. So, what are we doing?"

She was easily fooled by my lie as she squealed, "Okay, we're all going to get henna done on our hands and feet. The girls have a series of designs and you can choose whatever you want."

"Hmm," I looked around to finally recognize the small stations set up, "that's all we're doing?"

"Yeah," Simirin smiled, "I'm way too tired to do much before the wedding. Getting henna done is very relaxing, you'll see."

I gave her a skeptical look for a moment.

She immediately rolled her eyes and playfully pushed me. "Stop being so skeptical. I promise it'll be fun. Here, we can get ours done together. Maybe then you can tell me why you look like a zombie character from The Walking Dead."

I gasped, giving her a feigned look of hurt. "Rude!"

She giggled and pulled me to one of the stations as the other girls took their spots. "It's called honesty, Annie."

I sighed. "Can't a girl just be tired without drama being the reason?"

For a long moment, she eyes me intently, looking for a sign of falsehood behind my sarcasm. Eventually, though, she gave up. "Fine, whatever you say."

I chuckled, glad she wasn't pestering me about my aura because had she continued to press me, I would've spilled everything. Though, that is the last thing I want. She was getting married soon and I didn't want to worry her with my boy problems. Never mind the fact that I don't even want her nor anyone to know of my thoughts about Graham.

So, I quickly transitioned the topic from my zombie looking self to her and the wedding. It worked well. After all, I'm a wonderful actress.

In the afternoon, we were all dressed formally, awaiting all the invited guests to arrive for the Sangeet. Traditionally, from what I've learned, this is the time for familial introductions, mingling between guests and full courses of meals are served to drive the event. There's also to be dances, I'm assuming traditional dances, to add a spur of fun. Overall, it was exciting to witness a foreign tradition play out and also learn from it.

I was beyond ready to interact with everyone and forget about what's been weighing me down as I made my way to the even area. When I got there, I was shocked. It was such a beautiful scenery with a burst of colors all around the area. Most of the guests were dressed in traditional clothes; those who weren't, weren't of the culture, so it was understood. As I looked around, I spotted Graham chatting with a woman who looked to be his age. She was dressed in traditional clothes and her long raven black hair was straightened down her back. Her big eyes followed his every move sharply, her interest in him highly evident as she smiled and giggled at his every word. Her olive toned skin shone in the presence of his fair tone and I stood here, dazzled, as I watched them interact. I wanted to walk over and interrupt, but realized soon enough, that I had no right to do so.

What a mess I've made of all this, I muttered to myself in my thoughts.

Suddenly, Graham looked away from the girl and scanned the crowd. That's when his eyes fell on me, instantly connecting with my longing gaze. My heart jumpstarted into a faster speed and my skin was lit on fire. I couldn't pull my eyes away as I watched him watch me. My lips parted for I needed more air intake to sustain my heart's pace. When he gave me a small smile, I felt the sweat that hinted on my hairline and neck. I couldn't stand it anymore. I was about ready to walk over to steal him away for a moment and admit all my faults and lies when I was interrupted.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Sangeet of Simirin and Ajay's wedding. We're delighted to have you apart of our daughter's path to happiness," Simirin's father began. He went on to tearfully talk about his daughter's story, often choking on his words as they got too emotional. Nevertheless, he got through it with Simirin's mother by his side, who remained tearless and strong until it was her turn to speak. Then, she was a mess. Honestly, I don't even know half of what she said, because she mumbled her speech to Simirin through her tears. It was sweet, though, and I fought back tears of my own as I listened to her endearing words. Following this, Ajay's family was introduced, who in return gave as emotional speeches about their son and his relationship with Simirin.

"How emotional, huh?" a familiar voice whispered from behind me.

Tingles ran up my spine and I turned fast to see Graham smiling down at me. My breath hitched and I soon forgot how to conjure up a coherent sentence. "Um."

I could hear the family introductions going on in the background but I felt like I was miles away from the event, locked in a small hot room with Graham.

"Are you still mad about yesterday?" He asked, his eyebrows narrowing in worry.

Even through the applause in the background, I could hear my heartbeat. I still couldn't respond. I didn't want to take back my stance from yesterday. I wanted to remain strong. Parth is and should be the man of my dreams. He's the man I should pursue, the man for whom I should be at loss for words. Not Graham. It can't be him that steals my heart, my sanity. I can't let him affect me this way.

I'm a woman in control of my emotions, or at least, I should be. There's no way my story ends up with Graham as the male lead. No way.

"Are you not going to speak to me?" He pressed on, his eyes weakening into a gleam of pain.
When I didn't respond for a while longer, he took it as his cue to leave and turned on his heels to do so.

I wanted to stand there and let him leave. I wanted to gain control over myself, my feelings, my actions, my thoughts. I wanted my sanity back. I can't go on thinking about him day and night, going over what could be and what shouldn't be. I didn't want to have to choose. I wanted Parth to be the clearest path for me; I wanted him to be my only path.

My hands, however, had other needs. Without thinking, I reached out and grabbed his arm and pulled him to an abrupt stop.