The Rose

Chapter 11

I haven’t gotten out of bed in three days, just when I had to eat and when I went to the bathroom. Everyone have been calling me non-stop, but I just don’t want to do anything or talk to anyone. Yesterday Erin came by and knocked on the front door for about an hour. I wanted to get up, I really did, but I just couldn’t.

I am so scared. I’m scared out of my mind. I know I won’t survive losing someone again. It doesn’t help that depression is something common on my mother’s side of the family, or at least the family she had. So I have this monster to fight everyday and I’m tired of fighting. I just want a break. I just need it to stop. Please, I need the pain to stop.
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I wake up to the sounds of beeping. I try to open my eyes and when I eventually get them open, they’re instantly greeted by a bright white light. The beeping sounds are increasing and my wrists are throbbing.

I close my eyes and open them slowly giving time to adjust to the light. I’m in a room with light blue walls and white tiles. I try to get up by pushing myself up and a sharp pain pulses through my wrist. Not again, Kate. I look down and both my wrists are covered with bandages. Outside I hear people talking and I try my best to listen, but the beeping fills my ears and I can’t focus. My head starts to pound and darkness greets me.

My eyes flicker open and I feel someone laying on my lap and holding my hand. A pair of green eyes look up and I instantly recognise them. Erin. She looks like a wreck, she has bags under her eyes, her hair is messy and her clothes look slept in.

Once she realises I’m awake her face lights up and she engulfs me in a hug. I hug her back, careful not to hurt myself and we just stay like that for a few minutes until the door opens and a doctor with pepper hair comes in. He looks like his in his early 60’s and he has a hunched back. He starts
talking to Erin. “Are you family?”

“Yes, I’m her sister” she lies.

“Alright, good. Well, Ms. Black has lost a lot of blood, but with the new blood we’re giving her, she will be  fine” he says pointing to the blood bag hanging from the medical stand beside my bed. “Do you know if she takes antidepressants or what she’s drinking?”

“No, I didn’t even know she drank anything” she says rubbing her arm while looking at me. I close my eyes not wanting to see the sadness in hers. They keep talking, but I get lost in my own thoughts. This has happened many times before, but the previous times no one was there holding my hand when I woke up. Angie was always in the room, but she never touched me, I guess that’s my own fault. She tried in the beginning ,but I flinched away everytime.

“Kate, how are you feeling?” Erin asks touching my arm. I just look at her hand and I start crying. “Don’t cry. Here, drink some water” she hands me a glass of water and I take it carefully. The cool liquid soothes my dry throat and I try to speak, but stop, not really knowing what to say. The look on her face breaks my heart. I never knew she cared this much or at all, but seeing in what state she’s in it” evident. “I’m sorry” I choke out.

“Oh, honey, it’s alright. I’m just glad you’re okay” she says giving me another hug.

“How did you get into my house?”

“Well, you didn’t answer anyone’s calls or texts. Even Kai came to me and said he’s worried about you. I didn’t even know you were close, but anyway so I went to your house for the second time because you never answered when I came the first time” she says raising her eyebrows and I just give her a sheepish smile. “ I knew something was wrong so I grabbed a rock and smashed a window. Don’t worry I already paid for it to be fixed, I think someone is working on it right now. Where was I? Oh, yes so I went upstairs and I saw water coming out underneath a door, so I barged in not caring if you could be naked, and that’s when I saw you. Jeez, Kate. You scared the crap out of me! I thought you were dead.”