The Rose

Chapter 12

His eyes are so beautiful, so captivating. I stare up at his face and he is looking right back at me. I soon realize how long we're staring at each other and I clear my throat "Umm thanks" I say.

"Oh it's no problem" he replies looking flustered. I must say he looks cute when he's blushing.

"So, you work here?" I ask

"Yes, I am a detective, but it was my day off today" he says touching the back of his neck

"Oh okay, well I've got to go"

"I'll see you around, Kate" he says touching my arm and it sends shocks through my body. His touch is warm, comforting. I feel the heat creep up in my neck and I nibble on my lip. We stood there in awkward silence before he cleared his throat, moved around me and entered the meeting room.

I walk out of the station and get into my car. I quickly send Erin a text saying that I will come back to get her as soon as she's done. On my way home I get a text from Ethan, he wants to see me. I haven't heard from him in weeks, since he showed up at my house. he ignores me for days, then shows up and apologises and says he wants to be with me just so he can ignore me again. It's tiring not knowing where I stand with him. I do have feelings for him although I don't know why because he treats me like crap. Maybe it's because he knows my pain, he knows what it feels like to feel so hopeless, thinking the only way out is to put a blade to your wrist.

He wants to see me at the pizzeria in town, but I don't know if I want to see him. I'm angry, but as if he is reading my mind, a text comes through: Please, I need to explain.

Damn, I hate being like this. I make my way towards the pizzeria and I see him through the window, sitting at a booth, fidgeting with his hands.

I get out of my car and walk towards the entrance. When he sees me, his face lights up and my heart melts. All the anger melting with it. His emerald green eyes is glazed over and he looks like he's going to cry. He wraps his arms around me and he nestles his head into my neck. His breath on my bare skin sends goose bumps down my arm. "I am so sorry" he whispers.
"For?" I ask and I sit down at the booth. He sits down across from me, staring at me. Feel self-conscious I look down at my lap.

"Kate, I have a lot more issues than you think. I'm damaged" he says rubbing his wrists.

"I am, too" I say looking up at him

"No, Kate. I didn't want to tell you because I know you're going to think different about me and I don't want that because I really like you."

"I won't. Ethan, what's wrong?" I ask , touching his hand and his face softens, grabbing my hand and holds it in his hand.

"I have a drug problem" he says looking down.

This explains his inconsistency. I stare at him not really sure what to say. He looks nervous and he's biting down on his lip.

"What drugs?" I ask. "Never mind it doesn't matter. Are you okay?"

"Not really. I've been in rehab a few times, but yeah I relapsed again. On one of my highs I went to your house and lights were flashing and there was an ambulance. I didn't know what was going on and then I saw you. You were being carried out with bandages around your wrists. You looked so peaceful and yet still so pained. I'm so sorry I wasn't there. I feel like shit, I'm really done this time. I would not have been able to live with myself if you died. I'm so sorry" he says and I start getting mad.

"You said you would be there for me and when I needed you the most you were fucking high?" I say now furious, releasing his hand. I think I have PMS, my emotions are all over the place.