Extant

Chapter 17

"Tobin."

That word snapped me out of sleep.

I was in my Chemistry class, head down on the desk, hood up. We had a sub in class and she showed us a video on The Great Plains.

I really didn't understand what that had to do with chemistry so I decided to just put my head down and not pay attention.

Apparently, I ended up falling asleep in class. I guess the substitute didn't care, or else I wouldn't have been woken up by the kid next to me at the very end of class.

I didn't want to move, not because I was still exhausted, but also because it's very uncomfortable falling asleep in a school desk.

I looked across the room to see Ashlyn laughing at me. I rolled my eyes and started packing my things.

"Not getting your beauty sleep?" Ashlyn asked with an eyebrow raised but yet, still followed by a chuckle.

"Not really." I said, hauling my backpack over my shoulder.

I swear I must be carrying around a bowling ball or something in this bag, every time I let it drop to the ground it makes a loud thud.

"Trouble in paradise?"

I just groaned in response to that.

"Y'all haven't done the hanky panky yet?" she asked a little to loud.

Okay, a lot too loud for fucks sake.

"No, and do we really have to talk about that right now. What about your gay ass trying to go after Ali." I said, irritation in my tone.

We started walking out of class once the bell rang. Lunch was next, I was just excited that I could relax again for an hour.

"Well, alright aggressive. I'll have you know that this gay ass is making progress on Ms. Krieger." she said with a triumphant smile.

"And by progress you mean turning her off?" I said with a laugh. Her smile turned to a frown.

I walked into the main hallway and she walked into the doorframe, putting her hand against it afterwards and patting it.

"Hey wait, yo, what do you mean I'm turning her off? Did she say something to you?" she asked, catching back up to me.

This. Was. Priceless.

"Oh, yeah, she told me a lot. You might want to step up your game unless you want Solo coming in for the kill."

As much as Ash and Hope were great friends, they were also like twin brothers.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, it's always a competition since they're so alike. Everything is an aggressive game to them.

I could see the red on her face, she was starting to get angry. I've been trying to hold in my laughter as much as I possibly can.

"Hope isn't good enough for her." she said bitterly.

"And what makes you good for her?" I asked genuinely.

It took her a while to respond. She let out a sigh before giving me her answer.

"I don't really know yet."

We sauntered into the lunch room and while she went to the lines, I went straight to the table.

When I got there, I didn't acknowledge anyone being there, I just sat in a seat, put my hood up, and buried my head in my arms that were on the tabletop.

I so wanted to just pass out and fall asleep here. However, it's really hard to do so in this loud lunch room. Sometimes I really wish we would have gone to the library and taken a table there to eat at.

Guess it's a little late for that now.

"Hey." I heard to my right. Other people from the table responded to the person who I could feel sit down.

I still kept my eyes closed and my head down. It's not that I don't want to talk to the beautiful lady to my right, I was just unsure of what was to come.

Alex has been spending the past month with her parents and we've been cutting it close with this whole "boyfriend" deal. Thinking about it now, it sounds way too risky.

We've had a few chats and a few kisses exchanged since she left, but not much else.

It was depressing.

In that time, and no, it's not because of Alex, I've gone to the doctor and gotten a prescription for some medication.

I thought I could maybe shake off these feelings, or lack of feelings, but I just can't. However, I haven't taken the antidepressants yet.

I sat there for what seemed like five hours when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I groan and look up, turning to my right to look at Alex, but she wasn't looking at me, she was looking at Christen.

I stood up and out of my seat to face her, I was going to say something when she connected our lips.

I backed myself up to a pillar that was close to our table to get away from her, but as soon as my back hit the bricks, she kissed me again.

"What. The fuck, Tobin."

I pushed Christen away from me and held her at the shoulders before she could come any closer again.

"Tobin don't listen to her, she doesn't even love you." Christen said with a fiery look in her eyes.

"What are you even talking about, what is wrong with you Christen?" I responded.

"Oh come on Tobin, you can't possibly tell me that you're going along with this whole concealed relationship. She's just avoiding confrontation."

I blinked a few times, trying to hold back tears.

I'm either numb or very emotional, and right now was not a good time to feel.

"Tobin that's not it at all I just—"

"You just what? Why the hell is there such a problem with people knowing? Why do you give a fuck what your parents think, what could they possibly do to you, huh?"

Everyone was silent. I looked at the people at the table who turned to face what was happening, they all had no facial expression.

I took my hands off of Christen's arms and dropped them to my side with a shaky sigh. I closed my eyes tightly and started walking to the nurses office.

I was going to get her to call my mom to bring me home. Before I walked too far away from everyone I said one last thing.

"Don't talk to me."

When I finally got home, I sat on my bed and didn't move for a long time.

I had been crying pretty hard for the past 30 minutes, and now that I'm all out of tears, there's nothing left for me to feel.

My mom had to go back to work, but she stayed and made me some lunch before leaving again. I was actually pretty hungry.

I walked up the stairs, too exhausted to bother to take off my prosthetic leg. I saw a garden salad and a turkey and ham sandwich on the kitchen island.

There was also the prescription bottle next to it with a note:

You don't have to take them, it's just a suggestion. If you do, only take one and write down the time you took it.

I stared at the bottle with so much intensity, as if I was in a staring contest with it.

I took the plate and sat down at the table, leaving the meds there.

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A/N:

Tobin is starting to deal with depression, it will start to get kind of serious in the next few chapters but do not worry, all will be well.