New Beginnings. (Jiam AU)

Chapter 12.

Jade's POV

Before I can continue on with my story, I start to speak, but can't as I continue to sob. Revisiting my past wasn't exactly on my agenda today, but I needed to tell the truth. I look up and see my three bandmates looking at me with glassy eyes.

Leigh-Anne gets up from her spot on the couch, wrapping her arms around me as I cry.

"I-I'm s-sorry..." I cry, not only to Leigh, but to Jesy and Perrie.

Leigh comfortingly rubs my back, trying to soothe me. "Sh, darling. It will be alright."

"Can I c-carry on now?" I mumble, amidst my tears. I wanted to be strong.

"If it's alright with you, baba." Perrie says, an apologetic frown on her lips.

"Yeah, it is." I say, lifting my hand up to wipe my tears.

Leigh-Anne unwraps her arms from around me and stays seated next to me.

2008

"Mam, I'm..." I start to say, my voice trembling as I take deep, shaky breaths.

My mother looks at me from across the living room, her eyes blank and her lips pursed. "I know, Jade."

I blink. Not once, but multiple times.

My response is weak, broken. "You do?"

She nods. "I know. I'm not mad. Don't think that I am."

At that point, I wrap my arms around her, the inevitable tears streaming down my cheeks. "I love you, mam. I love you so much."

****

The next couple of months were... complicated. I had to juggle schoolwork and preparing for the baby, along with dealing with going to the clinic for appointments. Since I had no idea what Liam's medical history was like, I didn't know what to expect when it came to his side.

I had to ignore the stares from my teachers and my classmates. They probably didn't expect someone like me to be in a situation like this. I could hear their whispers in class, when they thought I was too absorbed in my schoolwork to notice.

"She's such a slut."

"She's a total whore! I heard she hooked up with someone that was also on the X Factor."

"He left her when he found out she was knocked up. Trust me, he made the right decision."

If only they knew.

***

"You guys shouldn't have done this," I say, a smile on my lips as I look down at the white cake with a carriage drawn in icing on it.

"Come on, Jade. You know I wanted to. And besides, this is where we all find out the gender. Slice the cake!"

"Okay..." I mumble, unsure of myself as I take the knife, slicing into the cake to reveal a sort of pink sponge.

"It's a girl!" My mother says, a wide grin on her lips. She knew about the gender before I did. I trusted her to know first.

"It's a girl." I say blankly, the realization that I was going to be a mum hitting me in the face.

****

A couple months later

I toss and turn in bed, unable to sleep. The baby's kicks were unbearable.

"Mam!" I yell, my hands gripping the cloth of the duvet as the pain becomes more unbearable by the second.

My mother rushes into the room within minutes, and the look on my face is all it takes for her to pick me up into her arms and rush to the hospital.

When I get there, I'm greeted by a bunch of nurses and a doctor. My vision gets blurry. The last thing I hear is my mam crying as they wheel me away.

I wake up in a hospital room a couple hours later. At least, that's what I think. My mother is sitting beside me, a soft smile gracing her lips at the sight of me being awake.

"What happened?" I ask, my voice slightly hoarse from not being used as much.

"You were in labor, Jade."

My eyes widen. It was too early for me to be in labor. I quickly sit up on the bed, wincing as I feel a sharp pain in my stomach. I look down.

The baby's gone, I thought.

"No... No!" I say, burying my face in my hands as I cry.

"Jade, why are you crying?" My mother asks, a concerned frown on my lips.

"M-My baby... S-She's-"

"Alive," my mother interrupts. "Your baby's alive."

I look up at her, pursing my lips as I ignore the pain in my stomach. "Is s-she okay?"

She takes a deep breath before speaking. "She's not so good. But she's alive. That's what matters."

I let the news sink in for a moment before sighing.

My baby's alive. She's breathing. She's mine.

And that's all that matters.

****

It took a few days before I could visit my little girl. I didn't think of a name for her, as I hoped her name would come when I saw her. I gathered the strength I could muster before I could visit her to ensure the doctors I was doing well, and the pain in my stomach was caused by my sitting up when I wasn't supposed to. I should have known that emergency C-Sections would hurt.

They wheeled me into the NICU, where the premature babies were, and the nurse helped me comfortably seat myself on one of the chairs.

Then, I saw her. Small, pale, and a bit blue, but still breathing. My heart broke for my daughter. It was my fault she looked like this. It was my fault she was born early. It was my fault.

But I pushed all of my worries aside as the nurse carefully handed her to me. I had my baby in my arms, and nothing else mattered. Her eyes were closed, and she was so small, I was afraid I would injure her. But her hands still looked like normal hands, and her feet had five tiny toes on each foot. We would be alright. We would make it together.

"Jay..." I say, testing out the nickname I had decided on. I still needed a name for her, and I hoped it would come.

The newborn slowly moves her arms as she hears my voice, causing me to smile in the slightest bit. I start to hum softly, gently ghosting my thumb over her cheek.

"Jayla," I whisper. "It's perfect for you."

And Jayla Anne Thirlwall became her name.

(Okay, I'm sorry. I haven't updated in months and I had a hell of a writers block. I promise I will write continuously from now on, and I'll make my chapters longer. I missed writing a lot, so it shouldn't be that hard. Love you all! x)