You Deserve To Be Loved

Chapter 7

Stupid Fucking timing!! Why couldn't the phone ring in another moment?!Mum reaches for her phone in her handbag and looks at the identity of the caller."Darling can we talk later?"She excuses herself with an apologizing smile. I nod with a weak smile and go to my bedroom. Another night with doubts still stuck in my head .

I know staring at the ceiling in bed right now isn't the most interesting thing a person can ever experience, but that's not in my thoughts right now as far as I feel pain, fear and broken. I don't think I will let go Davis, he's always been my hero, the only person who had always manage to steal a smile from me even when I wasn't in the mood for smiling. I still remember my fifth birthday party when the little guy promised he would have been my Superman and would have protected me from all evil people,i slightly nodded blushing at what he said and he offered me a smile . Since then he had always managed to keep his promise even though I sometimes made things difficult for him. I think I have always loved Davis except that I was too naïve and blinded by Peter Dickhead's charm to see it. But now it all makes sense to me, I have loved and still love him because he had always loved me for who I am even when I couldn't love myself as a fatty Blaire.

I can't let go someone like him but maybe I have to. I love him and he doesn't . It will never work as far as this love is one sided .I doubt he has ever felt something for me like more than friend maybe as a sister but nothing more. And the hilarious thing in this story is that ,he thinks I have gotten over that little mistake between us because we are just acting like nothing . He picks me up to school in the morning but the only difference is that I no more sit in the passenger seat because Chloe does. We sit at the same table lunchtime and talk normally with everyone including Chloe and Travis who decided to join us lately .But the truth is that he doesn't know I love him secretly. Drew sometimes notices how I feel uncomfortable when the couple starts to flirt but he doesn't say nothing, all he does is it to give me a weak warming smile.

I guess it's normal to feel a little bit hurt when the guy you finally know you love has no idea about how you feel. The guy who has always known every detail about me is at last unbeknown of one the most important thing he should know. I have always thought whoever feels hurt cries . You don't cry not much about how hurt you are but because the tears silently flows through your soul and cleanse all the pain in your heart. The worst part of all this is that ,I try to cry but the tears don't simply want to fall. I want to yell but I'm afraid no one could hear me. I would rather prefer to be hurt physically than emotionally because at least I would feel the pain on my skin ,I would have scars but in the end they will all disappear.
*

****

I found a love for me
Darling, just dive right in and follow my lead
Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet
Oh, I never knew you were the someone waiting for me
'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love
Not knowing what it was
I will not give you up this time

I dismiss the alarm and sit on the bed rubbing my eyes. I enter in the bathroom and get ready for the day and after finishing my morning routine, I go downstairs and begin to prepare my breakfast but as soon as I pull the milk out I hear my phone vibrating in my pocket meaning Davis is here. So instead of heating the milk and all, I grab an apple quickly and head out of the house.
"Hey Blaire"Chloe greets me with a warming smile
"oh Hey Chloe"I say trying to Fasten my seat belt.
"Guess what "She says facing me from the passenger seat while raising an eyebrow
"Davis has psychological problems? "I chuckle
"Yes that's a matter of fact but no we already know this so you guessed wrong "She laughs
"Enlighten me then"
"Hey why are you guys on me ..You technically bullying me indirectly." Davis pouts with his eyes still concentrated on the road. Chloe and I stare at each other with the look Did-he-really-just-said-that before we both burst out in laughter.
"By the way it is about Davis and I"And as soon as those words leaves her mouth, my face falls and I feel like I have just been stabbed with a knife in my chest. Davis and Chloe, Chloe and Davis sounds greats unlike Blaire and Davis.
"oh" That's all I say before trying recover
"Blaire are you okay "Davis asks from the other side
Of course I'm not okay you selfish idiot ,what do you think ?that I am a Machine and I don't I have feelings?.
"I-I meant Oh what's wrong "I stuttered looking at Chloe
"And I'm ok"I answer with an harsh tone more than I wanted it to be and before I realized I just sounded like a jealous best friend I put up my thumb faking a smile
"Good for you"he says with a teasing tone
Stupid heartless Bastard how can you say good for me
"obvious " I saying faking a smile.
Like seriously how many times do I have to fake a smile when I'm with him
"Davis and i..."Chloe starts again but for my luck we are already in the school parking lot.
"Ehm Chloe how about we talk about this later cause I need to meet up with Nate before lesson starts "I lie
Davis and you my foot
"oh okay see you later"She says too way excited
"Who's Nate? "Davis asks with a demanding tone
Wait who is Nate I don't actually know it myself .Think of something decent to tell him because he surely understands when I lie